Guns and Army Play

Trust me, I was a mother who always said my son would never play with guns. I was a new mum and was listening to those around me who were older and wiser and had been there before me. Thou shalt not play with guns became a rule in our house.

That was until the toast became a hand gun, the duplo became a machine gun, the soap a bomb. You know how it goes. Therefore, I decided they could have air rifles, so they could play cowboys and Indians and shoot snakes and bears. That was great and lasted well. Then I bought G.I. Joe type toys and lego and they became so caught up in it and had so much fun that I couldn’t very well take it away, as I could see the hours of fun and imaginative play they were having. And they weren’t being ‘violent’ per say.

Then they joined cadets. Out went any hope of stopping the military fun they were now having in the backyard! Any chance at owning camouflage gear they took it. I had a choice of stopping everything or letting it play itself out. It was hard to say no. Boys will always be boys and since the beginning of time, boys have played or used guns, swords, bows and arrows or spears to fight, defend, or play.

Therefore, I let the play continue. However, always, a part of me struggled with it. I knew I couldn’t stop them from being boys, and I *could* take away the guns, camo, cadets, and games, but did I really want to? Was I stopping them from being boys if I did?

Years ago, while in Tennessee, (or maybe before) our boys were introduced to Air Soft. This is a brand of gun play. The guns are plastic and have a regulation orange tip and they shoot plastic beads. They travel very far and very fast: up to 325 feet per second is what one of the boys guns is capable of. To buy one of these guns you need to be 16 or have a parent with you. You can shoot one if you are under 16, but you need parental approval.

For years I held out. Finally, about two years ago, when our oldest was 16 and the next 14, I allowed them to get the Air Soft guns. My big concern was that we had smaller children on the property, so as far as I was concerned there was nowhere to play with them. So, they didn’t use them. They owned them, but had nowhere to go and it was rather pointless.

But in the last year we have discovered that *all* the boys that our boys are friends with own these guns. And we are talking about nice, wholesome, Christian boys. The guns come in different powers, so they can be rather harmless, to very powerful. After having a few playdate invites and borrowing guns at their friends’ houses, I decided it was time to get with the times and allow the boys to get the guns.

One day, Cassidy and Dane decided to have a big excursion and rode their bikes to town (about 10 km) and made the big purchase. They deposited their pay cheques in the bank and then went to a couple stores to price check the guns. After they were sure which ones they wanted to purchase, they went back to the bank to get their money.

It was at the store that they discovered that they needed to have a parent with them or be 16 to buy a gun. Dane was old enough, but Cassidy wasn’t, and Dane didn’t have his ID with him. So, Ray kindly drove into town and helped them with their purchase. While there, on the sly, we bought Austin a less powerful gun. Earlier, when the boys were leaving for town he was heartbroken because he had enough money and he knew friends his age had guns and he wanted to have one too. I had told him that he would have to wait til he was twelve. Ray bought Austin’s gun and we put it away for ‘the right time’.

All three boys proceeded to collect their gear: masks, face guards, camou gear, boots. One day, Austin and Cassidy were invited to a thirteen year old friend’s house to play Air Soft for his birthday. That was Austin’s introduction to Air Soft. Considering the friends that were over were all ten to thirteen it didn’t seem right to hold Austin back. But we still didn’t rush into it.

With the boys having gun there would be rules. They are not allowed to play with the guns on the property. They have scoped out a great area near to our house where there are no houses and it has earned the nickname Snipers Point by the neighbourhood boys.

One day, the boys took their new guns to the Point to play with some friends, and Austin as allowed to go along. He was just thrilled to be allowed to go. It is off the property and my kids don’t usually traipse the neighbourhood, so this was a thrill for him. No gun or anything! But while he was there he was invited to use a friend’s gun, and so he had a ball.

He came home that night and there were no mishaps or sour stories from his older brothers, so I took note. The next time his older brothers went to play with friends, Austin was again invited to use a spare gun. Again, all went well. That night when he came home he was so happy. He told me that he would be the medic the next day because the spare gun would not be available. His contented attitude about not having a gun and being willing to be medic gave me the nudge.

I stepped into the entry hall closet and pulled out the plastic bag complete with gun and ammo and handed it to him and said, “Maybe you can use this.”

You should have seen his face. Glee. Unstoppable joy. He hugged me. He kissed me. He rubbed my arm. “Oh Mum! You said I had to be twelve!! Thank you! Thank you!!” His delight was something to see!

He has since proven himself responsible. The guns are handed to me when they come home, and I put them in my hiding place until their next exercise, at which time they gear up and go. It is quite the big deal for them!

As I was saying to my sister the other day: I remember being a kid and playing cops, robbers, and loving it. I can only imagine what fun it would have been if our guns were the type that we could shoot something out of them that didn’t kill someone, but simply made the guns seem more real!

And typical boys, one day they decided to dress up their littlest brother. He thought it was great fun.

Now my disclaimer: I know that not everyone will like or agree with boys playing with guns. Each to their own. And I don’t take gun play or violence lightly. My second oldest son has World War II army games for Playstation. He gets to use them *sparingly*. The children in line behind him will *not* ever get to use them. They might come across games like that at some time in their life and they may use them, but I will not be buying any such games, and my son’s games will not be shared by younger brothers. I will not stop the Air Soft, and I will allow the Cadets, but I will not encourage another one of my sons to go into the military by allowing them to spend too much time on that pastime. And also, the games the son has are not blood showing games. Those will never be okay in my house.

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