For only the next 24 hours (maybe less) there is a movie that you must see!
http://www.godtube.com/comewhatmay
It is a beautiful movie about a family that struggles with a personal history and a son who is about to break out into manhood. It is about a young girl who has made a pledge.
It is in segments on godtube.com. Watch the segments and feel the impact of the final piece. It was unbelievable to learn that it was created by 40 homeschoolers and a handful of mentors! Wow!
Given the American election that is about to take place, this is a movie that must be seen while it is still available for free. I will be buying a copy.
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Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
What Came Before
It is interesting the things we find out as the communication happens with the girls.
I am not a mum that wants my little girls painted with makeup and nail polish - at least not until they are a 'reasonable' age. But I do like earrings. I know that there will people on both sides of this fence. *smile*
Yesterday, out of curiosity, I asked Mesai if she wanted her ears pierced. Now, don't get me wrong, I wasn't planning on running out and piercing her ears right away. I just wanted to hear her thoughts. You have to imagine this conversation. I am dealing with a child that speaks with mostly verbs and nouns. No adjectives or adverbs, and certainly no grammar. *smile*
So, because of this lack of clear understanding, my mimes and sign language and words got the wrong message across. Mesai thought I was asking her if she had earrings before. And yes, she did!
Wow, you should have seen the buzz in the kitchen after that. Everybody clustered around her to see the holes in her ears. They are no longer there, but there are little tiny scars. Next inspection was Gadisae. Yep, she had her ears pierced, too!
So then since we were on a new page, we began asking questions regarding her ears.
Who pierced them? Her mother.
How? With a 'stake' *grin*. I pretended to use a needle, like as in a shot, and she agreed that was what her mum used.
Did it hurt? Yes!
Did she cry? Yes.
What were her earrings like? They dangled and were about a half inch long.
So, now, the original question was: Do you want your ears pierced? Now that I knew she had previously had them pierced it was a question of do you want to do this again?
Yes, she does, and yes, she does, even though it hurt last time. Upon discussion as to when she wants them done, she had no idea of the concept of when.
'So do you want earrings 'when you are eight?' (giving her a wide age range).
'Three or four.'
'You are past three or four. You are five.' We laugh.
Okay, so let's try another angle, since the concept 'when' isn't understood.
'Before the snow or after the snow? '
'After? What is that?' Note to self: discuss 'after'.
'Little time or long time?'
'Little'. Big smile.
Okay, so now that we have that cleared up, we will wait til after Christmas and then reapproach the topic. It is kind of neat to be able to give back to her something that was hers before.
While we were on the topic we learned that she had long hair that was in braids. Her grandmother braided her hair. And Gadisae, with the wispy little fuzz, only had a little afro - no braids. I asked Mesai to show me what she does with her hair and she took my hair and immediately began to braid it. I suspect I will have to give her the beads and see what she can do. *smile*
.
I am not a mum that wants my little girls painted with makeup and nail polish - at least not until they are a 'reasonable' age. But I do like earrings. I know that there will people on both sides of this fence. *smile*
Yesterday, out of curiosity, I asked Mesai if she wanted her ears pierced. Now, don't get me wrong, I wasn't planning on running out and piercing her ears right away. I just wanted to hear her thoughts. You have to imagine this conversation. I am dealing with a child that speaks with mostly verbs and nouns. No adjectives or adverbs, and certainly no grammar. *smile*
So, because of this lack of clear understanding, my mimes and sign language and words got the wrong message across. Mesai thought I was asking her if she had earrings before. And yes, she did!
Wow, you should have seen the buzz in the kitchen after that. Everybody clustered around her to see the holes in her ears. They are no longer there, but there are little tiny scars. Next inspection was Gadisae. Yep, she had her ears pierced, too!
So then since we were on a new page, we began asking questions regarding her ears.
Who pierced them? Her mother.
How? With a 'stake' *grin*. I pretended to use a needle, like as in a shot, and she agreed that was what her mum used.
Did it hurt? Yes!
Did she cry? Yes.
What were her earrings like? They dangled and were about a half inch long.
So, now, the original question was: Do you want your ears pierced? Now that I knew she had previously had them pierced it was a question of do you want to do this again?
Yes, she does, and yes, she does, even though it hurt last time. Upon discussion as to when she wants them done, she had no idea of the concept of when.
'So do you want earrings 'when you are eight?' (giving her a wide age range).
'Three or four.'
'You are past three or four. You are five.' We laugh.
Okay, so let's try another angle, since the concept 'when' isn't understood.
'Before the snow or after the snow? '
'After? What is that?' Note to self: discuss 'after'.
'Little time or long time?'
'Little'. Big smile.
Okay, so now that we have that cleared up, we will wait til after Christmas and then reapproach the topic. It is kind of neat to be able to give back to her something that was hers before.
While we were on the topic we learned that she had long hair that was in braids. Her grandmother braided her hair. And Gadisae, with the wispy little fuzz, only had a little afro - no braids. I asked Mesai to show me what she does with her hair and she took my hair and immediately began to braid it. I suspect I will have to give her the beads and see what she can do. *smile*
.
Doctors Visit
About 2.5 weeks ago I took the girls to Vancouver to see an adoption doctor. She is actually just a paediatrician, but has been seen by people who adopt and has proven herself to be thorough, and so I chose to go to her.
I was not disappointed. We spent over 2 hours in her office examining the girls - physically, emotionally, and then interviewing me with regard to diet, sleep, attachment and further. She asked me what concerns I had and we discussed them.
I told her that I had done some research and had read that two of the parasites that the girls have are not easily erradicated and that the drugs we had given them probably didn't do any good. I showed her some research I had done and some correspondence I had had with a woman in Australia. This woman has a website with testimony after testimony of people who suffered with these parasites and nothing helped them. Until they convinced their doctors to try certain drug cocktails. There was a lot of reading!
For many years these two particular parasites were considered NON pathogen. Only in the last 7 years were they moved to the catagory of Pathogen. This means that until then they considered them a non-issue. Some of these people had been dealing with serious intestinal problems, including huge weight loss - for some people for up to 44 years!! Doctors kept telling them the bugs were not a problem. Also, they are hard to diagnose. Well, fortunately for us the parasites showed themselves on the first test! Thank the Lord for that! That means that we at least know they are there.
BUT.... this doctor, who is NOT a microbiologist immediately said they are NOT A PROBLEM. Okay..... So we go with her plan of action for now and see what happens. If we do not get results then we begin bringing out the heavy artillery.
She told me that she was going to talk to the 'head infectious disease specialist of B.C., if he is in the country' - (I am not sure if she said it to impress me, since I had been spouting my concerns and she had been sideswiping them - or if SHE is really impressed with him. Hopefully she is really impressed and he will have the answers).
The doctor told me she does not read anything that is not a medical journal.... I am sure there are plenty of you out there who know what that means! Doctors are not gods and do not have all the answers and sometimes there are areas that PEOPLE have figured out solutions to. Ever watched Lorenzo's Oil??? A mother fought long and hard to bring her son back from a nearly catatonic state - doctors had no answers as to why he slowly went there and how to bring him back. She researched tirelessly for months and did have great success with her son.
So, what do we do? Well, we went home from the doctor and waited for results. She talked to this specialist, and they decided to put the girls on a medication - Flagyl - for the two parasites that I am concerned about. These parasites have shown themselves to be stronger than this drug and the concern is the parasites becoming hardier because of taking the Flagyl.
They also put them on a single dose of another medication for one of the other parasites. I don't think they cared that our family doctor had prescribed anything already. I believe they were starting from scratch and wanting to be sure to cleanse their body. This one medication must have been strong because they only had to take one dose of it.
The third medication was for their scalp fungus. We have managed to keep this at bay since they have been home. Gadisae did acquire it after she got to Canada, but Mesai's has been slowly clearing to the point where she can't find any owies anymore. But when we saw the doctor in Vancouver the doctor could still see tiny patches of it.
So they were prescribed Lamlsil oral and cream. Hopefully this takes care of it. Otherwise, Christy, I shall be emailing you for your doctors information that took care of Hana's scalp! *smile* Fungus Keeners Unite! LOL!
As, well as that we have had to up the girls calcium to where they get three servings a day, plus a calcium and vitamin D supplement, plus Vitamin A for their skin (I can use this too!), plus a good multivitamin.
You should see me at drug time in my house! Talk about having to concentrate. Some of these drugs have to cut in fourths because they are such small children and the drugs are really for adults!
When the doctor called me a week after the appointment to tell me what the specialist said she told me that he was more concerned about a possible 'other' parasite, Schistosmiasis, for which they have not been tested. He said it shows up in the urine. So, now we get to check for this parasite. He was concerned about this, because it is a serious parasite and can cause real issues. He has nothing to go on that they have this other than the fact that he is being thorough.
Please pray with me that these two parasites that we are concerned about are ZAPPED by the drugs - that I don't have to ask them to put them on the drug cocktail of three different drugs. I don't want to have to get gently forceful with the doctors, so I would rather that they are bug free.
To me a sign of this would be that their tummies settle down to a normal size, they go to the bathroom normally, and they gain weight (Mesai especially!), as Mesai is still so tiny.
After we left the doctor's office we headed to Royal Columbian Hospital for blood tests. I was very pleased when I saw this doctor because I brought her the list of tests suggested for Internationally Adopted Children from Jane Aronson's website. I would suggest, if you go see this doctor, that you produce this list to keep the doctor on her toes. She was willing to check my list against her own, and she was willing to test for everything on my list. But if you show up with the list it might help her to stay in the 'listen to the parents' mode.
When I mentioned lead testing and the fact that many doctors don't feel it necessary to test for this, she told me that the two highest levels of lead that showed up in children in BC, came from children from Ethiopia!
At the hospital we had a bit of a wait so I took the girls and Cooper, my main little man, to Tim Horton's for lunch. Based on what the doctor said about nutrition, today was not to be a light day of eating. *smile* So we ordered ham and pea soup, and cracks, yoghurt, donuts, chocolate milk.
They were ever so good, and we were there for over 30 minutes. I noticed people looking and smilling at the girls, as we walked from place to place during the day, but then these two ladies left Tim Horton's they approached me. The one lady was from Austalia, and she leaned over at the table and said, "Your children are beautiful. They are so well behaved. It is so nice to see."
It was such a great encouragement to the kids, because I do expect our children to be civilized and respectful and for them to hear the positive reinforcement just showed them it is worth being well-behaved in public. It was also nice for me. :o)
After lunch, we headed to the lab for blood tests. I had Mesai go first, as I figured she would make less of a fuss than Gadisae and I did not want Gadisae spooked. I was right. Mesai shut her eyes and simply said, "NO!" But that was it. And they took five *big* vials of blood. Originally it would have been more than 10, but by making them big they have cut down on the number. Oh yeah!
It was next Gadisae's turn. When she saw the needle she began to get stressed out. I held her on my lap and told the nurse I had no idea how she would react. In other words: Be prepared for a screaming, kicking child. Mesai had told me that in Ethiopia Gadisae had cried.
Well, she didn't kick or scream. Instead she cried as if her little heart were broken - big gulping sobs and tears streaming down her face. A betrayed child.
I called Mesai in to talk to her in Amharic. She did. Nothing helped. Finally, Mesai patted her leg and simply pleaded in English, "Please, Gadisae!"
It was finally over, but it took Gadisae a while to get over the insult. Hopefully we do not have any more blood tests or needles for a while.
Oh, yah, the paediatrician wrote me a requisition for the schedule of immunizations..... hmmmm - I think we will be waiting for immune systems to BUILD before we ATTACK them!
.
.
I was not disappointed. We spent over 2 hours in her office examining the girls - physically, emotionally, and then interviewing me with regard to diet, sleep, attachment and further. She asked me what concerns I had and we discussed them.
I told her that I had done some research and had read that two of the parasites that the girls have are not easily erradicated and that the drugs we had given them probably didn't do any good. I showed her some research I had done and some correspondence I had had with a woman in Australia. This woman has a website with testimony after testimony of people who suffered with these parasites and nothing helped them. Until they convinced their doctors to try certain drug cocktails. There was a lot of reading!
For many years these two particular parasites were considered NON pathogen. Only in the last 7 years were they moved to the catagory of Pathogen. This means that until then they considered them a non-issue. Some of these people had been dealing with serious intestinal problems, including huge weight loss - for some people for up to 44 years!! Doctors kept telling them the bugs were not a problem. Also, they are hard to diagnose. Well, fortunately for us the parasites showed themselves on the first test! Thank the Lord for that! That means that we at least know they are there.
BUT.... this doctor, who is NOT a microbiologist immediately said they are NOT A PROBLEM. Okay..... So we go with her plan of action for now and see what happens. If we do not get results then we begin bringing out the heavy artillery.
She told me that she was going to talk to the 'head infectious disease specialist of B.C., if he is in the country' - (I am not sure if she said it to impress me, since I had been spouting my concerns and she had been sideswiping them - or if SHE is really impressed with him. Hopefully she is really impressed and he will have the answers).
The doctor told me she does not read anything that is not a medical journal.... I am sure there are plenty of you out there who know what that means! Doctors are not gods and do not have all the answers and sometimes there are areas that PEOPLE have figured out solutions to. Ever watched Lorenzo's Oil??? A mother fought long and hard to bring her son back from a nearly catatonic state - doctors had no answers as to why he slowly went there and how to bring him back. She researched tirelessly for months and did have great success with her son.
So, what do we do? Well, we went home from the doctor and waited for results. She talked to this specialist, and they decided to put the girls on a medication - Flagyl - for the two parasites that I am concerned about. These parasites have shown themselves to be stronger than this drug and the concern is the parasites becoming hardier because of taking the Flagyl.
They also put them on a single dose of another medication for one of the other parasites. I don't think they cared that our family doctor had prescribed anything already. I believe they were starting from scratch and wanting to be sure to cleanse their body. This one medication must have been strong because they only had to take one dose of it.
The third medication was for their scalp fungus. We have managed to keep this at bay since they have been home. Gadisae did acquire it after she got to Canada, but Mesai's has been slowly clearing to the point where she can't find any owies anymore. But when we saw the doctor in Vancouver the doctor could still see tiny patches of it.
So they were prescribed Lamlsil oral and cream. Hopefully this takes care of it. Otherwise, Christy, I shall be emailing you for your doctors information that took care of Hana's scalp! *smile* Fungus Keeners Unite! LOL!
As, well as that we have had to up the girls calcium to where they get three servings a day, plus a calcium and vitamin D supplement, plus Vitamin A for their skin (I can use this too!), plus a good multivitamin.
You should see me at drug time in my house! Talk about having to concentrate. Some of these drugs have to cut in fourths because they are such small children and the drugs are really for adults!
When the doctor called me a week after the appointment to tell me what the specialist said she told me that he was more concerned about a possible 'other' parasite, Schistosmiasis, for which they have not been tested. He said it shows up in the urine. So, now we get to check for this parasite. He was concerned about this, because it is a serious parasite and can cause real issues. He has nothing to go on that they have this other than the fact that he is being thorough.
Please pray with me that these two parasites that we are concerned about are ZAPPED by the drugs - that I don't have to ask them to put them on the drug cocktail of three different drugs. I don't want to have to get gently forceful with the doctors, so I would rather that they are bug free.
To me a sign of this would be that their tummies settle down to a normal size, they go to the bathroom normally, and they gain weight (Mesai especially!), as Mesai is still so tiny.
After we left the doctor's office we headed to Royal Columbian Hospital for blood tests. I was very pleased when I saw this doctor because I brought her the list of tests suggested for Internationally Adopted Children from Jane Aronson's website. I would suggest, if you go see this doctor, that you produce this list to keep the doctor on her toes. She was willing to check my list against her own, and she was willing to test for everything on my list. But if you show up with the list it might help her to stay in the 'listen to the parents' mode.
When I mentioned lead testing and the fact that many doctors don't feel it necessary to test for this, she told me that the two highest levels of lead that showed up in children in BC, came from children from Ethiopia!
At the hospital we had a bit of a wait so I took the girls and Cooper, my main little man, to Tim Horton's for lunch. Based on what the doctor said about nutrition, today was not to be a light day of eating. *smile* So we ordered ham and pea soup, and cracks, yoghurt, donuts, chocolate milk.
They were ever so good, and we were there for over 30 minutes. I noticed people looking and smilling at the girls, as we walked from place to place during the day, but then these two ladies left Tim Horton's they approached me. The one lady was from Austalia, and she leaned over at the table and said, "Your children are beautiful. They are so well behaved. It is so nice to see."
It was such a great encouragement to the kids, because I do expect our children to be civilized and respectful and for them to hear the positive reinforcement just showed them it is worth being well-behaved in public. It was also nice for me. :o)
After lunch, we headed to the lab for blood tests. I had Mesai go first, as I figured she would make less of a fuss than Gadisae and I did not want Gadisae spooked. I was right. Mesai shut her eyes and simply said, "NO!" But that was it. And they took five *big* vials of blood. Originally it would have been more than 10, but by making them big they have cut down on the number. Oh yeah!
It was next Gadisae's turn. When she saw the needle she began to get stressed out. I held her on my lap and told the nurse I had no idea how she would react. In other words: Be prepared for a screaming, kicking child. Mesai had told me that in Ethiopia Gadisae had cried.
Well, she didn't kick or scream. Instead she cried as if her little heart were broken - big gulping sobs and tears streaming down her face. A betrayed child.
I called Mesai in to talk to her in Amharic. She did. Nothing helped. Finally, Mesai patted her leg and simply pleaded in English, "Please, Gadisae!"
It was finally over, but it took Gadisae a while to get over the insult. Hopefully we do not have any more blood tests or needles for a while.
Oh, yah, the paediatrician wrote me a requisition for the schedule of immunizations..... hmmmm - I think we will be waiting for immune systems to BUILD before we ATTACK them!
.
.
Missing In Action.... But Still Alive
To all those kind people who have emailed and expressed concern because I have not been posting - I am fine and all is well over here. Thank you for checking in. I appreciate the care. *smile*
I have been insanely busy. In any free time that I might have - and there is not much of that - I have been working like a madwoman trying to get my video from the computer into some semblance of order. This has been driving me nuts for ten days. Between different hardware, software, glitches, viruses - do you know how many viruses I brought home and how many computers and camera memory chips I infected? You don't want to know.
Suffice it to say, I have been up to midnight or 1:00 am for the last week trying to get through this monster! I now have three videos finished - complete with songs and photos - I am very pleased! In the next few days I hope to finish the last few videos. Once that is done I will then be taking those and compiling a 30-45 minute major impact video of the highlights of our trip. That is the main video I will be showing supporters of our missions trip and on my blog - IF I can get it uploaded.
And for all you parents that I tried to help - I will be sending you photos or video clips of your children! And Sandi, if you still read my blog, I will be sending you a dvd of the FAYA stuff - complete with all photos and video footage. Please can you send it on to your sister?
So now since my computer is back in the shop getting more of its glitches worked out I am forced to stop the video work and can now resume the blog work! *smile* Hopefully once the video is done I will be back to my regular broadcasting on my blog!
I have been insanely busy. In any free time that I might have - and there is not much of that - I have been working like a madwoman trying to get my video from the computer into some semblance of order. This has been driving me nuts for ten days. Between different hardware, software, glitches, viruses - do you know how many viruses I brought home and how many computers and camera memory chips I infected? You don't want to know.
Suffice it to say, I have been up to midnight or 1:00 am for the last week trying to get through this monster! I now have three videos finished - complete with songs and photos - I am very pleased! In the next few days I hope to finish the last few videos. Once that is done I will then be taking those and compiling a 30-45 minute major impact video of the highlights of our trip. That is the main video I will be showing supporters of our missions trip and on my blog - IF I can get it uploaded.
And for all you parents that I tried to help - I will be sending you photos or video clips of your children! And Sandi, if you still read my blog, I will be sending you a dvd of the FAYA stuff - complete with all photos and video footage. Please can you send it on to your sister?
So now since my computer is back in the shop getting more of its glitches worked out I am forced to stop the video work and can now resume the blog work! *smile* Hopefully once the video is done I will be back to my regular broadcasting on my blog!
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Choosing to Learn English
Gadisae has very little English. She relies on Mesai to talk. Mesai says what she wants when she wants something:
Mum, television?
Mum, thank you for the meal. May I please be excused?
Gadisae, no! That is mine.
Briton, don't touch.
Can I see it?
What is that?
She is capable of sentences.
Last week, I told Mesai that I wanted her to try to make a sentence rather than relying on one or two words. I explained what a sentence was. I gave her some examples of sentences. I then showed her my hands showing how big two words was and then how big a sentence was. She clearly understood what I was saying.
She dug deep and came up with: Mum, I have apple please?
I was so pleased with her effort. But for the next week or so, she has gone back to relying on us giving her what she wants without making any real effort. Today, she and her sister arrived at the door with Briton, looking for an apple. None of them have much speech! LOL!
So, as soon as the two girls began to speak and simply say, Apple, I said to Mesai that I wanted her to use more words. Make a sentence. I gestured with my hands to show more words. Gadisae cottoned on very quickly and said, "Apple, puleese." Good for her! She got her apple right away.
Briton clued in and said, "Hep me, appuh" (Help me, apple). Good for him! They took their apples and went off to play.
Briton clued in and said, "Hep me, appuh" (Help me, apple). Good for him! They took their apples and went off to play.
Thus, began Mesai and my lesson in speech. I told her how when Briton went to the speech doctor, they told me to not give him what he wants unless he asks for it. He had to make an effort, and I expected her to do the same. She has at least a two year advancement on Gadisae's cognitive skills.
I knew that her saying, Apple, was not an effort on her part. She certainly knew to put the word Please with it, and could easily remember to say, Mum. So I knew I was within reason to push her a little.
I knew that her saying, Apple, was not an effort on her part. She certainly knew to put the word Please with it, and could easily remember to say, Mum. So I knew I was within reason to push her a little.
I told her that Briton was little and he only gave 'this much' words and showed her with my hands. Gadisae was little and only gave 'this much'. Again, I showed her with my hands, again. The big boys gave *thisssss much* and it was way bigger. Then Mesai only had to give 'this much,' and it was in the middle of the big boys and the two little ones.
I coached her and gave her clues and told her clearly I wanted her to make an effort. I told her that as long as she and Gadisae were talking to each other in Amharic they did not feel the need to try and learn English. And if we all answered their needs when they asked for: Mum, bun. Mum, apple. Television. Book - we were not raising the bar enough for them to feel it necessary to try to learn English. It was time for her to try harder. I told her that I also knew that Rebecca, her teacher in Ethiopia, only spoke in English to her. The gag was up. *grin*
It has been almost two months of total immersion in the English language. Gadisae probably uses 20-30 words - Mesai 50 words.
It has been almost two months of total immersion in the English language. Gadisae probably uses 20-30 words - Mesai 50 words.
She sat at the front entry bench and thought, or simply sat, (I am not sure which). She didn't look like she was trying too hard. I came and went from the room, as I was helping Cassidy with school and making dinner. I then called her into the kitchen and chatted with her some more. I told her to dig deep, TRY, TRY, TRY. She has a little stubborn streak, and she was utilizing this at first.
Then, as I was not budging on giving in, and she could see from my facial features that I was on her side and really wanted her to succeed, she began to produce words. (It was like my eyes squinting and mouth pulling in this way and that as she moved her mouth trying to form words, must have made her realize I was really on her side! LOL!! As if my painful look as my faced moved in deformed grimaces trying to help her illicit sounds simply by coaxing with my features. *grin*)
I could see her lips forming the word "Can" - and I nodded my head, while thinking, Yes, thaaaaatt's it. Come on. Let it out. You can do it. *lol*!!!
Well, FINALLY after chewing on the word for long enough, she must have believed it was a word and out it popped!
CAN and right on its heels YOU HELP ME APPLE PLEASE?
Well, FINALLY after chewing on the word for long enough, she must have believed it was a word and out it popped!
CAN and right on its heels YOU HELP ME APPLE PLEASE?
Whoa, Baby!!! You did it!!
Mum, can you give me apple please.
Oh, boy! Was I thrilled!! She persevered and tried, instead of giving up!
YES!! I knew you could do it!! I am SO PROUD OF YOU!! Give me five!!
We high fived, and then I kissed her and kissed her all over and hugged her tight. I was so excited I had tears in my eyes! Success! What a moment!
She laughed and giggled at her crazy mother swinging her around the room. LOL!!
We went and got the apple and I picked her up and hugged her again, and we laughed. I said, "I am SO proud of you for trying!! Well done!"
She walked outside looking so proud of herself.
It is *worth* trying. I could let them learn at the slow pace they are, and I will in most areas. But there is no way that they can't learn some basics. I have seen how she parrots every single word she hears. And Gadisae does not. But Mesai is choosing to not do the hard work and put sentences together.
I know how much more she is capable of. For instance, I know of a little boy of her age, who was only in the country *six* months and when we met him he had no accent and spoke perfect English. Well, we do want our girls to speak Amaharic, and we love their accent, but they can certainly learn English, too.
Oh and an update: about 30 minutes later, when I went outside to take them for a walk, Mesai said, "Mum, gloves?" And I, out of habit, responded, so she received her gloves. Then she said to me with a smile, "Mum, can you help apple, please?" She was proudly showing me her skill.
I then said, "Mesai, ask for your gloves properly." She immediately said, "Mum, can you help gloves, please?" And smiled. Success! Sure, we have to work on the grammar and word choice, but not today.
.
I know how much more she is capable of. For instance, I know of a little boy of her age, who was only in the country *six* months and when we met him he had no accent and spoke perfect English. Well, we do want our girls to speak Amaharic, and we love their accent, but they can certainly learn English, too.
Oh and an update: about 30 minutes later, when I went outside to take them for a walk, Mesai said, "Mum, gloves?" And I, out of habit, responded, so she received her gloves. Then she said to me with a smile, "Mum, can you help apple, please?" She was proudly showing me her skill.
I then said, "Mesai, ask for your gloves properly." She immediately said, "Mum, can you help gloves, please?" And smiled. Success! Sure, we have to work on the grammar and word choice, but not today.
.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Samuel Phillipson
For those that want to follow along with Samuel's progress, this is the website. I thought you might have caught it on the last post, but I have had requests for info, so am assuming the majority have not been aware of this.
Samuel is doing well, but has had both legs amputated below the knee. They are working on his left arm, but there is not definite answers to that situation yet. According to what I have read on a friend of the family's website, Samuel was not ON the tractor. He did a typical little kid thing. He ran up to the tractor and stopped, put out his hand in a Spiderman fashion to spin his web to stop the tractor. He then turned and ran, but fell. The rest we know.
Please visit the Caring Bridge website and register his name and you will be able to enter your email and get daily updates. At the website simply put his name: samuelphillipson into the Caring Bridge Website slot. Then press enter. It will bring you to Samuel's webpage. His mum updates it 1-3 times per day.
Blessings, Justine
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Samuel is doing well, but has had both legs amputated below the knee. They are working on his left arm, but there is not definite answers to that situation yet. According to what I have read on a friend of the family's website, Samuel was not ON the tractor. He did a typical little kid thing. He ran up to the tractor and stopped, put out his hand in a Spiderman fashion to spin his web to stop the tractor. He then turned and ran, but fell. The rest we know.
Please visit the Caring Bridge website and register his name and you will be able to enter your email and get daily updates. At the website simply put his name: samuelphillipson into the Caring Bridge Website slot. Then press enter. It will bring you to Samuel's webpage. His mum updates it 1-3 times per day.
Blessings, Justine
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Sunday, October 12, 2008
And Then There Were Ten
At Church today, I took the opportunity of having us all together and took a few pictures. We will be doing some more natural pictures soon in our back yard. This will work for now.
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Saturday, October 11, 2008
A Wonderful Welcome
Our girls were welcomed in the most heartwarming manner today. Old customers of Ray's, who long ago became friends, (and readers of my blog *smile*), came to meet the girls at our house this afternoon.
They came in with the most beautiful gift bags. The girls were sleeping when they arrived, but knew they were coming, as we had discussed the internet birthday card that Mesai had received for her birthday.
I brought them downstairs and without prompting they went from person to person saying hello. They have such impeccible manners. It is so sweet.
It was so neat to see the delight on the girls' faces when they saw their gift bags. Mesai has had a birthday, but this was Gadisae's first gift. As the bags were handed to them she did not dive into hers. First, Mesai said, "What is this?" in her typical fashion. Gadisae watched Mesai to see what she would do and then followed suit in taking out the tissue paper in her bag.
Beautiful Bags
Oh Look!
Click on the picture and look at Mesai's delight and Gadisae's thrill. Such a happy moment for Gadisae, especially, since she had not opened a gift before!
The girls received the most cozy, beautiful pajamas, and then discovered something else. What could it be? Mrs. V. had thoughtfully and patiently searched for weeks to find the girls' music boxes! When they opened it it was the most amazing thing. It was the epitomy of a little girl's gift. Every little girl should have a music box. What an amazing keepsake!
But that was not all! Within the music boxes each of the girls had an exquisite, tiny, silver bracelet engraved with their names! So beautiful!
Enjoying the Beautiful Butterfly Dancing
When the girls went to bed they had a chance to play their music boxes as they went to sleep.
We were very touched by the thoughtfulness of this welcome. And not only did they think of the girls, but Mrs. V. and her daughter Penny, also brought the boys a wonderful filled box of cookies!! Oh, and you should see the decorating! Who could eat these works of art? Well, actually, I did, and so did the rest of the family. They will probably be gone by tomorrow! *laugh* They were so tasty. But seriously! If you could see the pitiful cookies that are decorated at my house.... *grin*
Unfortunately, Mr. V, and his grandson, Tyler, left to get gas right before I took this picture. So they are not in the photo.
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They came in with the most beautiful gift bags. The girls were sleeping when they arrived, but knew they were coming, as we had discussed the internet birthday card that Mesai had received for her birthday.
I brought them downstairs and without prompting they went from person to person saying hello. They have such impeccible manners. It is so sweet.
It was so neat to see the delight on the girls' faces when they saw their gift bags. Mesai has had a birthday, but this was Gadisae's first gift. As the bags were handed to them she did not dive into hers. First, Mesai said, "What is this?" in her typical fashion. Gadisae watched Mesai to see what she would do and then followed suit in taking out the tissue paper in her bag.
Beautiful Bags
Oh Look!Click on the picture and look at Mesai's delight and Gadisae's thrill. Such a happy moment for Gadisae, especially, since she had not opened a gift before!
Mrs. V. Showing the Girls Their Gifts
The girls received the most cozy, beautiful pajamas, and then discovered something else. What could it be? Mrs. V. had thoughtfully and patiently searched for weeks to find the girls' music boxes! When they opened it it was the most amazing thing. It was the epitomy of a little girl's gift. Every little girl should have a music box. What an amazing keepsake!
But that was not all! Within the music boxes each of the girls had an exquisite, tiny, silver bracelet engraved with their names! So beautiful!
Enjoying the Beautiful Butterfly DancingWhen the girls went to bed they had a chance to play their music boxes as they went to sleep.
We were very touched by the thoughtfulness of this welcome. And not only did they think of the girls, but Mrs. V. and her daughter Penny, also brought the boys a wonderful filled box of cookies!! Oh, and you should see the decorating! Who could eat these works of art? Well, actually, I did, and so did the rest of the family. They will probably be gone by tomorrow! *laugh* They were so tasty. But seriously! If you could see the pitiful cookies that are decorated at my house.... *grin*
Unfortunately, Mr. V, and his grandson, Tyler, left to get gas right before I took this picture. So they are not in the photo.
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Canadian Citizenship
I am beginning the process to apply for Canadian Citizenship. I would love to leave the country in the winter of this year and go somewhere warm as a family. We have some good friends who are sailing south for the rest of this year, right up til next August. We could meet up with them in Guatemala or Costa Rica. How nice does that sound? A girl can dream! (Not that Ray hasn't entertained the same thoughts!)
In the meantime, I have filled in all my forms for their Citizenship, and am just waiting on the Permanent Resident Visa cards to show up in the mail. I am HOPING that they applied the names that were written by the agent on the paperwork, versus the legal name written on the papers! If so, it could eliminate a step for us of a legal name change. We shall see. At the moment, I have all the paperwork filled out for the legal name change, but if the PRV comes in in the names we have changed them to: Gadisae Song Savannah versus Gadise Adugna, then we will be simply applying for Citizenship.
And then, who knows how long it will take. I know the name change should take about 3 weeks, plus then Citizenship.
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Do You Think He Loves Them?
Briton is Always Kissing Them!
I have been asked how our littlest has adjusted to having sisters. I can honestly say he adores them. But... I am sure his little subconscious is having a hard time adjusting to these people who won't go home!
Tonight, for instance: he is so darned cute! Am I biased? Perhaps! But really, he is adorable. I went upstairs to help the girls play with their doll house. I have no idea why, but Mesai didn't want to play. She stood by watching, while I got her sister going.
Just Observing Us PlayingI wonder if it is because in Ethiopia she didn't really play with toys. She ran around the orphanage with the kids in the play yard and watched TV, (Oh yeah! We know she watched TV. Those kids are like a kid on drugs when a TV comes on!!! We don't put it on because I can't stand how they immediately zone out!)
After about ten minutes of standing and just watching us play, she ventured to join us. I wonder if it is because up to this point she has not known what to do with the doll house? She is a bit of a perfectionist - perhaps she feels there is a 'correct' way to do things. Or maybe because her brothers don't let it stay exactly as she puts it when they join her? Or maybe because she just hasn't had enough exposure to small activities. I have no idea!
Getting in the FunSo I went up and played and told Briton and Cooper that they were not to come in. I wanted the girls to be able to have girl time with out 'helpful' little brothers rearranging the house. Cooper took off (I am sure he was disappointed) but Briton sat down on the floor just outside the door and said with a hopeful little face, "Wat?" (watch)
He was satisfied to watch from a distance. Boy, did that make me feel like a heel! But I had a good reason to do it. But still. Before the girls came he never had to 'wat' - he could be part of everything!
Those are the moments when I know he must be feeling that these people are changing his life. He does have an attitude about it. But there are more tears about things, and Daddy is his hero and his heart breaks when Daddy goes to work and he runs frantically out the door towards the truck calling, "Daddy, me wohk?" And then he tears up when Daddy leaves without him.
I told Ray to not feel bad if he was Briton's favourite! I think it is wonderful that Daddy is so important to him! He is the first one that he cries for when he is hurt. I am not offended when I am cradling a hurt and he says, "Daddy..." I love that he has that affect on him.
So while I was on the coast, Ray took Briton to work for a mere hour to do a few things. This was the first time he had done it. Thirty minutes later, Briton said, "Home?"
The next day, Briton said to Ray, "Work?"
Ray and I laughed at the fact that that is all Briton's attention span can hold - a 30 minute work day!! *laugh*
Other than the tears, Briton has gone through a period where he has hit the girls. Not much, but still, he is not a hitter, so I take it as adjusting.
But there is no doubt that he loves them. And they love him right back.
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Brothers and Sisters
FriendsUp to this point, Gadisae has not done any puzzles. She has played physical games with the boys. Today, Mesai and Cooper were doing a 40 piece puzzle with rather small pieces. Gadisae showed an interest, so I got out a puzzle with 30 pieces - a floor puzzle with pieces about 4" in size. It didn't take long to realize there were too many and too small for her to work with.
I then brought out a farm puzzle with 6" pieces - 24 of them. Again, no clue as to what to do.
Next, out came the Discovery Toys 4 piece puzzles. I gave her one of the puzzles and sat down with her and expected her to do it. It was apparent she was not even looking at the picture. She was simply trying to jam pieces together. I showed her how to do it. That didn't help her. She struggled on. I then did the puzzle for her, showing her how the pieces went together, and then allowed her to try to do it partially from memory of what I had done.
I left the room to check on the dinner. When I came back, Briton had moved in with her and she proudly told me she had done the puzzle. I said, "You?" And then she told me that she and Briton had done it, "Berton, me."
"Here, Gadisae."This is a picture of Briton guiding Gadisae in how to put the two last pieces of puzzle together. He did the first two pieces and her job was to put the second two pieces in. She was struggling with them, so he figured he could show her. This was the first time in Briton's little life that he knew more than someone else! I am sure it was a good moment for him!! *smile* Gadisae was very proud of herself.
She continued to work through the puzzles and between her and Briton they managed to do all four. I am sure she will slowly improve, but this shows what lack of exposure to things can be like for a child!
Cooper and Mesai are doing wonderfully together. They are at par, right now, in school. While Cooper knows his sounds, Mesai knows her letter names. They work well together. I hold the flashcards and say, "A says 'ah'," and they repeat it two times after me. It is like having a one room school house!!
Learning Sounds and Letters
Doing MathThey work side by side in their math book. We are waiting to buy their individual ones, so right now they are literally using the same book. But they are a fantastic team!
Mesai Copying Cooper's Design
Cooper was asked to set the table and I asked Mesai to help him. As he gave her instructions to follow him, I heard him say enthusiastically, "Good job, Mesai!! Mum!!! Mesai is putting the placemats on the table without even watching how I do it!" *grin* And the two of them are so cute in their manners. When one says, "Good job." Or "You look beautiful," the other will always without prompting say, "Thank you." So sweet.Speaking of manners. Tonight, big brother, Colt, age 17, was trying on some dress clothes. And it was the funniest thing. Mesai, who certainly knows all about how to talk to different ages of people (very smart little girl!) walks in, walks past him, and then says, "You beautiful people, Colt." Too funny!!!
When I say she knows how to talk to people - When an adult says, "How are you?" she will reply, "I am fine, thank you," in perfect English, in a very prim and proper voice.
Today, a teenage boy said, "How you doing?" To this she replied, just as clipped, "I'm fahhn." That is one smart girl!
Mesai Working on Her Alphabet Sounds
The Two Littlest OnesWhile the big kids are schooling the little ones are outside playing. This was when they were having a hot chocolate. The time for them to play outside by themselves is a good thing. It has given them a chance to bond. It is so sweet to see the relationships forming. Briton has named Gadisae - ''Didi' - so we now call her Didi. He calls Mesai - 'Didi two' - as he holds up two fingers. I have tried to tell him that it is Mesai, but he is determined to call her 'Didi Two'.
At dinner tonight, Gadisae, Briton, Mesai and Cooper were sitting at the eating bar. They were conversing about names. They went over the names that Briton had called the kids. It was Cooper that began talking about the fact that there was Didi and then Missy, as we call Mesai. Then Mesai got going with her giggles and humour. She pointed at Cooper and said, "Ohpar." Because that is what Cooper is called by Briton. And she can get his accent exactly right! It was so funny to see her connect Briton's names for the girls with the fact that he can't say his brother's name correctly either. Too funny!
Mesai is the master of folding properly, so when I gave out laundry to be folded, she folded the clothes and Cooper put away towels, socks, and pajamas!
If you didn't have a brother, how would you ever learn how to look like a monkey??
Monkey Gadisae
Creative KidsThese two took off by themselves one day, with a roll of tape, a pair of scissors and a couple boxes. They came back a couple hours later with this! I was most impressed! I am sure Mesai had a lot to do with it, as Cooper doesn't usually take the artist initiative! Great teamwork, yet again!
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First ATV Ride
Ray got out his ATV and gave the little ones a ride.
Waiting For Turns
Mesai and Daddy.
Sleeping?
What was Gadisae doing after I tucked her into bed for nap? Hmmmm?
A Real Canadian Girl
After She Woke Up
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A Real Canadian Girl
After She Woke Up.
Compassion and Attachment
When our girls came to us Gadisae was pretty adept at coming to me with an owie. She didn't think twice before telling me she was upset. Mesai, on the other hand, did not come to me. She twice hurt herself to the point of an egg on the head once, and a bruised scrape on her leg the second time. Both times she sat on the ground and cried with pain, but did not attempt to come to me.
The other day, Mesai came to the deck door and showed me her leg. It had a light scrape down it. It had not drawn blood - just the upper layer of skin was scratched off. But I was so pleased to see her consider it big enough to bring to me. This was a first!
Of course I made a big deal of it. I held her and kissed her owie a few time, reminding her that Mummies in Canada kiss owies. All was quickly well and off she went.
While I was on the coast this last few days, I took the children to a restaurant. While we were there I got the kids and I soup. It came so scalding hot that it took the full 30 minutes that we were there for it too cool down. I showed them how to skim a thin layer off the top and then blow, blow, blow and then eat it. It was a slow go, but we made it through.
At one point, Cooper got discouraged, because he could see his yummy yoghurt, chocolate milk, and donut waiting for him. I didn't want them filling up with chocolate milk before they ate soup, as the girls need fattening up and the soup was a rich pea soup.
So in his discouragement, great big crocodile tears started sliding down his face. That boy! Since he was a baby when he cries the tears are enormous! But he is not a crybaby. He doesn't just cry over anything.
Immediately, Mesai, who was sitting beside him, reached over and put her arm around him and began to pat him on the back and say, "Ishi, Cooper." (It's okay, Cooper.) She had no idea why he was crying, but her care for him was apparent.
Since our girls have been with us our boys have always been so loving towards them. Yes, they have had moments of unkindness, but that would be 2% to 98% pure adoration. So I am sure it is starting to come back to them now. That was only the second time I saw her *give* care to a hurting person, and not receive it.
The previous time was when I came to the back door and I saw her leading Briton to the house. She told me that Cooper had hurt him. As soon as Gadisae saw that I said, "Nice sister. Hugging Briton. What a good sister." (Showing her through my word that she was on the right track with her compassion.) she came up and hugged him, too. *smile* Course, I had to take a picture of this first compassion hug.
Big Sisters
Tonight, Briton was running out of the kitchen and he tripped over his feet. In his frustration, he turned around and saw his big brother, Colt, standing over in the kitchen (about 8 feet way) and he said with an accusing voice, "OAT" (Colt). Colt said, "I didn't do anything."
As Briton was getting up off the floor, obviously the victim of a crash, *grin*, along came Gadisae. She went to him and put her arm around him and have him a hug. Briton went to say, "No." Meaning, I'm good. Leave me alone.
I said, "Nice sister. Briton Gadisae wants to kiss your owie." She immediately looked for any place that might possibly hurt and gave him a kiss. He began to smile and lap it up. Then along came Mesai, who realized that someone was hurt and her sister was doing the 'right thing'. So she began hugging Briton and making him better too. It was so cute!
But the marvelous thing is we are finally seeing them GIVE to those that are in need. This is wonderful. And I had JUST yesterday told the doctor, "No, Gadisae does not show a protective nature towards younger children."
I can now say that YES, she is beginning to! Progress.
And then today, the biggest step of all. I was upstairs and I heard someone say that Mesai cut her finger. I quickly left the girls room, where I was putting away clothes, and headed to the stairs. I saw a herd of children coming up the stairs following closely behind Mesai. She was crying and holding her finger. I took her finger and saw that it had a odd slice on it. Not deep, but across the skin and there was really no blood. An odd cut. I held her finger tight and took her downstairs, while asking everyone repeatedly, "How did she cut her finger?"
Noone seemed to have an answer and Mesai was simply crying. I was wanting to know if she had had a knife or what? Meanwhile, Gadisae was repeatedly saying, "Sorry, Mesai, sorry, Mesai."
When I got downstairs I asked Mesai again what happened. She led me to the tv room door and showed me the hinge. OUCH!!!! She had got her finger closed in the hinge side of the door!!! YOWW!!!
It all made sense. The weird cut, the bruised squished colour. Man!!
I quickly picked her up and cuddled her, as she cried. I then had Cassidy bring me some ice. He brought me a bag of leftover frozen peas. *laugh*
At first, Mesai squealed and kicked her legs, while we sat on the couch. She was having no part of the frozen peas. She settled as soon as I told her it would help. Now, what was interesting was this child, who does not come and sit with me for long periods of time, sat for 20-30 minute - lying across my lap with her face cradled into my chest. It was like she finally got it. Mummies can make you feel better.
I asked the boys WHO brought her upstairs. Critical question. Cassidy went and asked Dane and the answer was Dane was beginning to bring her to me and Mesai pushed past everyone and ran up to me. Jackpot!!!
Her third large owie and the first time she brought it to me. We are making more progress!
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The other day, Mesai came to the deck door and showed me her leg. It had a light scrape down it. It had not drawn blood - just the upper layer of skin was scratched off. But I was so pleased to see her consider it big enough to bring to me. This was a first!
Of course I made a big deal of it. I held her and kissed her owie a few time, reminding her that Mummies in Canada kiss owies. All was quickly well and off she went.
While I was on the coast this last few days, I took the children to a restaurant. While we were there I got the kids and I soup. It came so scalding hot that it took the full 30 minutes that we were there for it too cool down. I showed them how to skim a thin layer off the top and then blow, blow, blow and then eat it. It was a slow go, but we made it through.
At one point, Cooper got discouraged, because he could see his yummy yoghurt, chocolate milk, and donut waiting for him. I didn't want them filling up with chocolate milk before they ate soup, as the girls need fattening up and the soup was a rich pea soup.
So in his discouragement, great big crocodile tears started sliding down his face. That boy! Since he was a baby when he cries the tears are enormous! But he is not a crybaby. He doesn't just cry over anything.
Immediately, Mesai, who was sitting beside him, reached over and put her arm around him and began to pat him on the back and say, "Ishi, Cooper." (It's okay, Cooper.) She had no idea why he was crying, but her care for him was apparent.
Since our girls have been with us our boys have always been so loving towards them. Yes, they have had moments of unkindness, but that would be 2% to 98% pure adoration. So I am sure it is starting to come back to them now. That was only the second time I saw her *give* care to a hurting person, and not receive it.
The previous time was when I came to the back door and I saw her leading Briton to the house. She told me that Cooper had hurt him. As soon as Gadisae saw that I said, "Nice sister. Hugging Briton. What a good sister." (Showing her through my word that she was on the right track with her compassion.) she came up and hugged him, too. *smile* Course, I had to take a picture of this first compassion hug.
Big SistersTonight, Briton was running out of the kitchen and he tripped over his feet. In his frustration, he turned around and saw his big brother, Colt, standing over in the kitchen (about 8 feet way) and he said with an accusing voice, "OAT" (Colt). Colt said, "I didn't do anything."
As Briton was getting up off the floor, obviously the victim of a crash, *grin*, along came Gadisae. She went to him and put her arm around him and have him a hug. Briton went to say, "No." Meaning, I'm good. Leave me alone.
I said, "Nice sister. Briton Gadisae wants to kiss your owie." She immediately looked for any place that might possibly hurt and gave him a kiss. He began to smile and lap it up. Then along came Mesai, who realized that someone was hurt and her sister was doing the 'right thing'. So she began hugging Briton and making him better too. It was so cute!
But the marvelous thing is we are finally seeing them GIVE to those that are in need. This is wonderful. And I had JUST yesterday told the doctor, "No, Gadisae does not show a protective nature towards younger children."
I can now say that YES, she is beginning to! Progress.
And then today, the biggest step of all. I was upstairs and I heard someone say that Mesai cut her finger. I quickly left the girls room, where I was putting away clothes, and headed to the stairs. I saw a herd of children coming up the stairs following closely behind Mesai. She was crying and holding her finger. I took her finger and saw that it had a odd slice on it. Not deep, but across the skin and there was really no blood. An odd cut. I held her finger tight and took her downstairs, while asking everyone repeatedly, "How did she cut her finger?"
Noone seemed to have an answer and Mesai was simply crying. I was wanting to know if she had had a knife or what? Meanwhile, Gadisae was repeatedly saying, "Sorry, Mesai, sorry, Mesai."
When I got downstairs I asked Mesai again what happened. She led me to the tv room door and showed me the hinge. OUCH!!!! She had got her finger closed in the hinge side of the door!!! YOWW!!!
It all made sense. The weird cut, the bruised squished colour. Man!!
I quickly picked her up and cuddled her, as she cried. I then had Cassidy bring me some ice. He brought me a bag of leftover frozen peas. *laugh*
At first, Mesai squealed and kicked her legs, while we sat on the couch. She was having no part of the frozen peas. She settled as soon as I told her it would help. Now, what was interesting was this child, who does not come and sit with me for long periods of time, sat for 20-30 minute - lying across my lap with her face cradled into my chest. It was like she finally got it. Mummies can make you feel better.
I asked the boys WHO brought her upstairs. Critical question. Cassidy went and asked Dane and the answer was Dane was beginning to bring her to me and Mesai pushed past everyone and ran up to me. Jackpot!!!
Her third large owie and the first time she brought it to me. We are making more progress!
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Pouting & the First "Public" Appearance
I've been rather delinquent in the posting department. It has been crazy busy around here and I am trying to keep my head above water. We have been incredibly blessed with amazing little girls. They are getting more and more comfortable by the day.
The children get along very well. They do not fight like 'regular siblings'. Actually, my boys do not fight much normally. They may have their squabbles outside where I don't see it, but I am not having children come to me crying or tattling all the time. They place very peaceably.
Well, since adding the girls, nothing has changed. They simply have two new children added to the mix. It gives them more games to play and more participants in their fun. They do not fight to speak of. Once in a long while - as in once a day - I will have a child come to me and say that something happened. Often it is simply a learning curve: We do not slap faces in Canada when we are angry at our brother because he got the bike first. *smile* But that doesn't happen often.
Gadisae has been testing more by a little bit of disobedience here and there, plus her famous little 'Ethiopian Pout'. Apparently, this little pout is known to Ethiopian children. I will not say this is true as I would not want to paint them with the same brush, but I will say she has it well practiced. *smile*
She is learning that it does not cut it with me. On this trip to the coast I had to get tough with it as it is becoming a habit for her. I have told her how pretty her face is when she smiles and how pouts do not make her look nice.
Finally, I had to let her lose a treat. The short story is we were shopping and she was disobedient in running away from me in the store, and when asked to hold her brother's hand would not stop pouting, to the point of crying. Nothing would stop this behaviour. I finally explained that the 'happy children' would be getting a treat. The pouting child would not.
It did not happen right away, as I was in a children's clothing store and had no opportunity.
About an hour later, I was at Walmart and I picked up two boxes of Smarties. I reminded her of the situation that went on in this previous store and that this was the treat that she would not be getting.
Normally, when she is getting a timeout for pouting she will cry. But this was a new type of consequence for her attitude. The reaction was different. This time when the children were eating their Smarties, and she was watching them eat them one by one - I was driving and watching through the rear view mirror - I saw a change in her. She just silently and solemnly watched her sister eat her chocolate without a pout or a tear in her eye.
About three quarters of the way through their Smarties she said to me, "Mummy, chocolate?"
And I said, "No, I am sorry, Gadisae. You were pouting and crying and disobedient in the store. You do not get chocolate. Mesai and Cooper were happy and listened to Mummy. I hope that next time you will be happy, and listen to Mummy and not pout, and then you can also have a treat."
She did not say anything, but about one minute later she was laughing and playing with the kids, even as they finished their treat and she didn't have hers. That was the first time that she took a consequence for her actions without pouting. I am hoping that I made a breakthrough.
Sunday, October 5th, was our first time taking the girls out somewhere other than the doctor or dentist. Truly, I would rather have kept hibernating. I do *not* like being on display. I do *not* like the attention on myself.
So, going out where I knew everyone was going to notice us took a lot of effort. The previous week our good friend, and adopted Gramma Rusty, made an announcement at our church that we would be coming in the following Sunday. She told them that the girls were doing amazingly well, and adjusting nicely. She then asked them to please not overwhelm us/or the girls when we came in. I was very thankful she did this because the reception was just right. Not too much, and not too little. It was like people gauged how many people could approach us at a time and some decided to wait until another week to introduce themselves. I really appreciated it.
When the pastor called the children up for prayer our six went up. Mesai followed near the back of the group and then skipped up to catch up with Cassidy. After the prayer the children went to Sunday School, but I had Cassidy return the girls to us. We kept them with us for the service and will continue to do so for the next couple of weeks. In about three weeks, I will take them down and spend the next two or three Sundays with them downstairs, making sure they are comfortable and that Gadisae knows her boundaries. I also want to be sure that they are comfortable knowing where we are in case they need us. There is a good chance I will send Cassidy with them for a couple weeks after that.
There was a point where we stop and meet and greet fellow church goers. I asked Mesai if she wanted to sit in the pew or if she wanted to walk around and meet people. She wanted to say hello to people. So we did and it was good. She was slightly reserved but followed my lead.
They were as good as gold during the service and sat nicely throughout. After, when Cassidy came up with a handful of crafts that the children in the Sunday School had made for the girls, I asked him if he wanted to take the girls down to meet the children. The girls happily went off with him.
It was a good experience and now we have our second Sunday tomorrow.
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The children get along very well. They do not fight like 'regular siblings'. Actually, my boys do not fight much normally. They may have their squabbles outside where I don't see it, but I am not having children come to me crying or tattling all the time. They place very peaceably.
Well, since adding the girls, nothing has changed. They simply have two new children added to the mix. It gives them more games to play and more participants in their fun. They do not fight to speak of. Once in a long while - as in once a day - I will have a child come to me and say that something happened. Often it is simply a learning curve: We do not slap faces in Canada when we are angry at our brother because he got the bike first. *smile* But that doesn't happen often.
Gadisae has been testing more by a little bit of disobedience here and there, plus her famous little 'Ethiopian Pout'. Apparently, this little pout is known to Ethiopian children. I will not say this is true as I would not want to paint them with the same brush, but I will say she has it well practiced. *smile*
She is learning that it does not cut it with me. On this trip to the coast I had to get tough with it as it is becoming a habit for her. I have told her how pretty her face is when she smiles and how pouts do not make her look nice.
Finally, I had to let her lose a treat. The short story is we were shopping and she was disobedient in running away from me in the store, and when asked to hold her brother's hand would not stop pouting, to the point of crying. Nothing would stop this behaviour. I finally explained that the 'happy children' would be getting a treat. The pouting child would not.
It did not happen right away, as I was in a children's clothing store and had no opportunity.
About an hour later, I was at Walmart and I picked up two boxes of Smarties. I reminded her of the situation that went on in this previous store and that this was the treat that she would not be getting.
Normally, when she is getting a timeout for pouting she will cry. But this was a new type of consequence for her attitude. The reaction was different. This time when the children were eating their Smarties, and she was watching them eat them one by one - I was driving and watching through the rear view mirror - I saw a change in her. She just silently and solemnly watched her sister eat her chocolate without a pout or a tear in her eye.
About three quarters of the way through their Smarties she said to me, "Mummy, chocolate?"
And I said, "No, I am sorry, Gadisae. You were pouting and crying and disobedient in the store. You do not get chocolate. Mesai and Cooper were happy and listened to Mummy. I hope that next time you will be happy, and listen to Mummy and not pout, and then you can also have a treat."
She did not say anything, but about one minute later she was laughing and playing with the kids, even as they finished their treat and she didn't have hers. That was the first time that she took a consequence for her actions without pouting. I am hoping that I made a breakthrough.
~~~~~~~
Sunday, October 5th, was our first time taking the girls out somewhere other than the doctor or dentist. Truly, I would rather have kept hibernating. I do *not* like being on display. I do *not* like the attention on myself.
So, going out where I knew everyone was going to notice us took a lot of effort. The previous week our good friend, and adopted Gramma Rusty, made an announcement at our church that we would be coming in the following Sunday. She told them that the girls were doing amazingly well, and adjusting nicely. She then asked them to please not overwhelm us/or the girls when we came in. I was very thankful she did this because the reception was just right. Not too much, and not too little. It was like people gauged how many people could approach us at a time and some decided to wait until another week to introduce themselves. I really appreciated it.
When the pastor called the children up for prayer our six went up. Mesai followed near the back of the group and then skipped up to catch up with Cassidy. After the prayer the children went to Sunday School, but I had Cassidy return the girls to us. We kept them with us for the service and will continue to do so for the next couple of weeks. In about three weeks, I will take them down and spend the next two or three Sundays with them downstairs, making sure they are comfortable and that Gadisae knows her boundaries. I also want to be sure that they are comfortable knowing where we are in case they need us. There is a good chance I will send Cassidy with them for a couple weeks after that.
There was a point where we stop and meet and greet fellow church goers. I asked Mesai if she wanted to sit in the pew or if she wanted to walk around and meet people. She wanted to say hello to people. So we did and it was good. She was slightly reserved but followed my lead.
They were as good as gold during the service and sat nicely throughout. After, when Cassidy came up with a handful of crafts that the children in the Sunday School had made for the girls, I asked him if he wanted to take the girls down to meet the children. The girls happily went off with him.
It was a good experience and now we have our second Sunday tomorrow.
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Sunday, October 5, 2008
Please Pray!!
I do not even know this little boy, but he came home to his forever family at the beginning of September.
Right now, he is fighting for his life. He was injured with a tractor. One leg has been removed below the knee; the other leg they are trying to keep just above the ankle.
His other injuries are extreme.
Please visit this website and let his family know you are praying. He is about three years old.
http://paul-samuelphillipson.blogspot.com/
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Right now, he is fighting for his life. He was injured with a tractor. One leg has been removed below the knee; the other leg they are trying to keep just above the ankle.
His other injuries are extreme.
Please visit this website and let his family know you are praying. He is about three years old.
http://paul-samuelphillipson.blogspot.com/
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Wednesday, October 1, 2008
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