Pouting & the First "Public" Appearance

I've been rather delinquent in the posting department. It has been crazy busy around here and I am trying to keep my head above water. We have been incredibly blessed with amazing little girls. They are getting more and more comfortable by the day.

The children get along very well. They do not fight like 'regular siblings'. Actually, my boys do not fight much normally. They may have their squabbles outside where I don't see it, but I am not having children come to me crying or tattling all the time. They place very peaceably.

Well, since adding the girls, nothing has changed. They simply have two new children added to the mix. It gives them more games to play and more participants in their fun. They do not fight to speak of. Once in a long while - as in once a day - I will have a child come to me and say that something happened. Often it is simply a learning curve: We do not slap faces in Canada when we are angry at our brother because he got the bike first. *smile* But that doesn't happen often.

Gadisae has been testing more by a little bit of disobedience here and there, plus her famous little 'Ethiopian Pout'. Apparently, this little pout is known to Ethiopian children. I will not say this is true as I would not want to paint them with the same brush, but I will say she has it well practiced. *smile*

She is learning that it does not cut it with me. On this trip to the coast I had to get tough with it as it is becoming a habit for her. I have told her how pretty her face is when she smiles and how pouts do not make her look nice.

Finally, I had to let her lose a treat. The short story is we were shopping and she was disobedient in running away from me in the store, and when asked to hold her brother's hand would not stop pouting, to the point of crying. Nothing would stop this behaviour. I finally explained that the 'happy children' would be getting a treat. The pouting child would not.

It did not happen right away, as I was in a children's clothing store and had no opportunity.
About an hour later, I was at Walmart and I picked up two boxes of Smarties. I reminded her of the situation that went on in this previous store and that this was the treat that she would not be getting.

Normally, when she is getting a timeout for pouting she will cry. But this was a new type of consequence for her attitude. The reaction was different. This time when the children were eating their Smarties, and she was watching them eat them one by one - I was driving and watching through the rear view mirror - I saw a change in her. She just silently and solemnly watched her sister eat her chocolate without a pout or a tear in her eye.

About three quarters of the way through their Smarties she said to me, "Mummy, chocolate?"

And I said, "No, I am sorry, Gadisae. You were pouting and crying and disobedient in the store. You do not get chocolate. Mesai and Cooper were happy and listened to Mummy. I hope that next time you will be happy, and listen to Mummy and not pout, and then you can also have a treat."

She did not say anything, but about one minute later she was laughing and playing with the kids, even as they finished their treat and she didn't have hers. That was the first time that she took a consequence for her actions without pouting. I am hoping that I made a breakthrough.

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Sunday, October 5th, was our first time taking the girls out somewhere other than the doctor or dentist. Truly, I would rather have kept hibernating. I do *not* like being on display. I do *not* like the attention on myself.

So, going out where I knew everyone was going to notice us took a lot of effort. The previous week our good friend, and adopted Gramma Rusty, made an announcement at our church that we would be coming in the following Sunday. She told them that the girls were doing amazingly well, and adjusting nicely. She then asked them to please not overwhelm us/or the girls when we came in. I was very thankful she did this because the reception was just right. Not too much, and not too little. It was like people gauged how many people could approach us at a time and some decided to wait until another week to introduce themselves. I really appreciated it.

When the pastor called the children up for prayer our six went up. Mesai followed near the back of the group and then skipped up to catch up with Cassidy. After the prayer the children went to Sunday School, but I had Cassidy return the girls to us. We kept them with us for the service and will continue to do so for the next couple of weeks. In about three weeks, I will take them down and spend the next two or three Sundays with them downstairs, making sure they are comfortable and that Gadisae knows her boundaries. I also want to be sure that they are comfortable knowing where we are in case they need us. There is a good chance I will send Cassidy with them for a couple weeks after that.

There was a point where we stop and meet and greet fellow church goers. I asked Mesai if she wanted to sit in the pew or if she wanted to walk around and meet people. She wanted to say hello to people. So we did and it was good. She was slightly reserved but followed my lead.

They were as good as gold during the service and sat nicely throughout. After, when Cassidy came up with a handful of crafts that the children in the Sunday School had made for the girls, I asked him if he wanted to take the girls down to meet the children. The girls happily went off with him.

It was a good experience and now we have our second Sunday tomorrow.




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