Compassion and Attachment

When our girls came to us Gadisae was pretty adept at coming to me with an owie. She didn't think twice before telling me she was upset. Mesai, on the other hand, did not come to me. She twice hurt herself to the point of an egg on the head once, and a bruised scrape on her leg the second time. Both times she sat on the ground and cried with pain, but did not attempt to come to me.

The other day, Mesai came to the deck door and showed me her leg. It had a light scrape down it. It had not drawn blood - just the upper layer of skin was scratched off. But I was so pleased to see her consider it big enough to bring to me. This was a first!

Of course I made a big deal of it. I held her and kissed her owie a few time, reminding her that Mummies in Canada kiss owies. All was quickly well and off she went.

While I was on the coast this last few days, I took the children to a restaurant. While we were there I got the kids and I soup. It came so scalding hot that it took the full 30 minutes that we were there for it too cool down. I showed them how to skim a thin layer off the top and then blow, blow, blow and then eat it. It was a slow go, but we made it through.

At one point, Cooper got discouraged, because he could see his yummy yoghurt, chocolate milk, and donut waiting for him. I didn't want them filling up with chocolate milk before they ate soup, as the girls need fattening up and the soup was a rich pea soup.

So in his discouragement, great big crocodile tears started sliding down his face. That boy! Since he was a baby when he cries the tears are enormous! But he is not a crybaby. He doesn't just cry over anything.

Immediately, Mesai, who was sitting beside him, reached over and put her arm around him and began to pat him on the back and say, "Ishi, Cooper." (It's okay, Cooper.) She had no idea why he was crying, but her care for him was apparent.

Since our girls have been with us our boys have always been so loving towards them. Yes, they have had moments of unkindness, but that would be 2% to 98% pure adoration. So I am sure it is starting to come back to them now. That was only the second time I saw her *give* care to a hurting person, and not receive it.

The previous time was when I came to the back door and I saw her leading Briton to the house. She told me that Cooper had hurt him. As soon as Gadisae saw that I said, "Nice sister. Hugging Briton. What a good sister." (Showing her through my word that she was on the right track with her compassion.) she came up and hugged him, too. *smile* Course, I had to take a picture of this first compassion hug.

Big Sisters

Tonight, Briton was running out of the kitchen and he tripped over his feet. In his frustration, he turned around and saw his big brother, Colt, standing over in the kitchen (about 8 feet way) and he said with an accusing voice, "OAT" (Colt). Colt said, "I didn't do anything."

As Briton was getting up off the floor, obviously the victim of a crash, *grin*, along came Gadisae. She went to him and put her arm around him and have him a hug. Briton went to say, "No." Meaning, I'm good. Leave me alone.

I said, "Nice sister. Briton Gadisae wants to kiss your owie." She immediately looked for any place that might possibly hurt and gave him a kiss. He began to smile and lap it up. Then along came Mesai, who realized that someone was hurt and her sister was doing the 'right thing'. So she began hugging Briton and making him better too. It was so cute!

But the marvelous thing is we are finally seeing them GIVE to those that are in need. This is wonderful. And I had JUST yesterday told the doctor, "No, Gadisae does not show a protective nature towards younger children."

I can now say that YES, she is beginning to! Progress.

And then today, the biggest step of all. I was upstairs and I heard someone say that Mesai cut her finger. I quickly left the girls room, where I was putting away clothes, and headed to the stairs. I saw a herd of children coming up the stairs following closely behind Mesai. She was crying and holding her finger. I took her finger and saw that it had a odd slice on it. Not deep, but across the skin and there was really no blood. An odd cut. I held her finger tight and took her downstairs, while asking everyone repeatedly, "How did she cut her finger?"

Noone seemed to have an answer and Mesai was simply crying. I was wanting to know if she had had a knife or what? Meanwhile, Gadisae was repeatedly saying, "Sorry, Mesai, sorry, Mesai."

When I got downstairs I asked Mesai again what happened. She led me to the tv room door and showed me the hinge. OUCH!!!! She had got her finger closed in the hinge side of the door!!! YOWW!!!

It all made sense. The weird cut, the bruised squished colour. Man!!

I quickly picked her up and cuddled her, as she cried. I then had Cassidy bring me some ice. He brought me a bag of leftover frozen peas. *laugh*

At first, Mesai squealed and kicked her legs, while we sat on the couch. She was having no part of the frozen peas. She settled as soon as I told her it would help. Now, what was interesting was this child, who does not come and sit with me for long periods of time, sat for 20-30 minute - lying across my lap with her face cradled into my chest. It was like she finally got it. Mummies can make you feel better.

I asked the boys WHO brought her upstairs. Critical question. Cassidy went and asked Dane and the answer was Dane was beginning to bring her to me and Mesai pushed past everyone and ran up to me. Jackpot!!!

Her third large owie and the first time she brought it to me. We are making more progress!
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