Birthdays For Our Girls

In International Adoption one of the things people need to know going in is that birthdays are not always what they seem. When we got our girls we thought they were 3 years 10 months and 4 years 11 months. Why wouldn't we believe this. It was, after all, what was on their birth certificate.

But we have learned over the last three to four years that that is quite typical. Why?

For one, in a country such as Ethiopia many, many births take place in little grass huts where going to register a birth might not be feasible.

 

 A Home Like Our Girls Were Born In

Or perhaps losing the birth certificates, as our girls' mum stated she did. So then they are in a situation where they have to come up with birth certificates. Since these are not done the day the baby is born there is always the chance the information is not accurate.

In our case, we asked our birth mum numerous times if we had the girls' true birthdates. She stated that they were indeed the ages we had been told. We suspected that this was not so, as our girls had already told us that they were five and seven years old, upon pickup from the Transition House. At that time, Solomon Tsegay who worked for Imagine, told us that the girls were mixed up. We believed him.

When we came home one of our girls told us that her mother had told her that to be adopted they needed to be three or four years old...

But we still had no proof. Then one day we were fortunate enough to reconnect with our birth mum, and at this time she felt safe enough telling us the ages of the girls. It was as we suspected: she feared they would be rejected by the adopting family if she told their real ages. Thankfully, she believed that the girls were loved enough that their real ages didn't matter to us, and never had!

So now our girls will no longer have birthdays in September and November, but instead, in June and July! They are also 2.5 years older than we thought.

This does complicate things slightly because on paper they are legally 6 and 7, but in real life we call them 7 and 8, and actually they are 8.5 and 9.5. How crazy is that!

Many people have chosen to keep their childrens' paper ages but we didn't because it didn't make sense. Raine was clearly older than 7 years old, and Savannah was about 8" taller than Briton and growing in leaps and bounds. So we gave them each one extra year.

This way when it is time to get their driver's licenses they will be held up by one year, rather than two, and that could pose a real problem for them when they have to wait til their paperwork says they are 16, when in actuality they are already 18.5!!! So one year up works for us.

There is a factor that you might not expect and that is what the other kids think. In Ontario they are very strict about birth order adoptions. I believe it is that you have to adopt under your youngest child. I never understood that until now. But at the same time, I think, "But what about the children you are adopting. They are losing their birth order!" That is significant.

When we first told the kids that we were adopting the girls, we told them how old they were. Raine would be 9 months younger than Cooper, and Savannah would be 2 months older than Briton. When the girls arrived we realized we were probably wrong. I knew from Cooper's personality that it would be an adjustment. I didn't tell him right away. When I did finally tell him tears welled up in his eyes. He liked the idea of being the big brother. We sat on it for a while, and then finally moved her forward a year, putting her 3 months older than him. He was okay with that; she was his twin.

With Briton, Savannah was always his twin. She was two months older than him. But for the longest time this didn't seem right. We knew she was older than him. Finally when we got proof that she was not just one year older than him, but 2.5 years, we knew we needed to advance her a little bit. We had been preparing her for this for a while, talking about ages. She knew that Raine had had her 5th birthday when she arrived in Canada, and then a year later, she had celebrated her 7th birthday. So it wasn't a big surprise to Savannah when I told her one day that she was seven.

The unfortunate thing was that Briton was walking by at that particular moment. This is the child that is the *end* of the birthday train. Well, it depends on how you look at it. His birthday is in January. BUT the kids that he hangs with have birthdays from end of the September, to November, to two in December, and then it is finally his birthday in January. That was always hard enough - watching four birthdays go by and waiting forever for his.

But then that day when he walked by and overheard me talking to Savannah I heard a little squeaky, "Huh?" of complete surprise and disbelief.

He couldn't use enough words to explain what he was saying, but the gist of it was, "Savannah's five. Her didn't have six. Now her's seven. That's not fair!"

No kidding. It probably didn't seem fair! We sure didn't tell him that she was really eight! (grin) He would have really thought that wasn't fair. How on earth does someone go from five to seven overnight?! Especially when *he* knows how long it takes for him to wait to turn one year older! (laugh)

He did eventually settle into the fact that she was indeed older than him. And then it was time for Cooper. We hadn't told him at the time we discovered the girls' ages about Raine. Somehow it slipped my mind. I guess because I had always known she was older. Well, one day I accidentally mentioned Raine as being 9.5 (which she is well aware of) and Cooper was shocked. Okay, here we go again. (laugh)

We let him chew it over for a little while. I left it alone. After all, we did already call her eight, and he had just turned eight, so it was fine. But we had always written the kids names in age order as Cooper, Raine, Savannah, and Briton. I had yet to change this, as it wasn't really fair to Raine. Soon...

Then tonight, while Briton was doing his prayers, he was listing off the people in the family one by one. He would say a name and then pray for one in particular. Then the next. After he did Austin he paused. Then from the top bunk I heard, "Cooper or Raine is next." (I wonder why it was "or"? lol) He immediately followed this with, "Do Raine first. She's older than me."

I was so proud of him. The transition has been made. My kids are not whiners, so I can really see why 'birth order' really does carry some importance with it! My suggestion is to be sensitive to the children you already have if you find your adopted children are not the ages you thought they were, thus upsetting the age order you thought you had! Take your time and let them adjust naturally.

And now, without further ado. Here is Raine's "8th" and Savannah's "6th" birthday party.

Cooper and His Now Officially Big Sister, Raine.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR BIG GIRLS!

.

Cassidy and Cooper Have a Birthday

It's that time again. My December boys had their birthday. Years ago, when I had a chance to decide if they should share a birthday because of an induced birth I decided against it. I thought they might resent it in years to come. I wish I had stuck with sharing it. They have always enjoyed having a birthday together. Once, when Cassidy turned 13, we had a solo party for him where his friends came over for a pizza and big guys birthday, but other than that they have been the best of brothers usually sharing a cake as well as a birthday.

 Cooper Wearing the Official Birthday Hat

 

 Cooper's Turn

 And Then Cassidy!!

Happy Birthday to my two big guys!! Hard to believe how fast Cooper is growing up. Makes me quite sad. You have always been a sweet and loving little boy. No wonder all the little girls pick you for their friend. You are kind and have such a protective nature!

And Cassidy you are moseying through your teenage years in a pleasant fashion. I love having your creative energy and your enthusiasm for all things that you try. I look forward to seeing what you do with your life!

I love you boys!
.

Cassidy the Baker

I don't think I posted on this before. But if I did - oh, well. Cassidy is such a well-rounded kid! He likes to bake, play hockey, knit, build forts, play chess, read voraciously, wants to learn to sew and try cross-stitch. He will do anything and everything.

Scrapwood, lock, nail: Goal Box

(What is a goal box? In this box Cassidy plans to put all of his completed goals. That right there tells you what he is like!)

He will make a good husband one day!

One of the things he always likes to do is bake cakes for birthdays. Now, given the fact that I do not like doing birthdays. Hey, I never said I was perfect! Far from it! And doing birthdays and decorating for Christmas is NOT FUN!

One day I might get him a cake decorating course, so he could do more than just ice the cake.

 Putting Candles on the Cake

 

Happy Birthday, Dad!

 Anticipation

 .

Grandad's Birthday

We are very fortunate that my parents live nearby. It didn't just happen that way. When I was a young adult travelling in Europe I made a decision that I would not marry away from home. I did not want my children growing up without grandparents the way that I had. My parents emigrated from England when I was a baby and grandparents and aunts and uncles were something that I really wished I had had.

So when my parents moved away from where we lived fifteen years ago, I was not very thrilled. That is putting it mildly. I was very sad. Then Ray and I decided to leave the city and move to the country and so when we began looking at land to buy, we made sure that the areas we looked at were near enough to my parents to visit easily. We are now only less than an hour from them. It would be nice if we were even closer.

Recently, my dad had his birthday and it was rather fun. Normally they come to our house to visit the children on their birthdays, but this time we took the cake to him.

.

Austin's 11th Birthday

Austin, my sweet boy, has turned 11 years old.

I vividly remember after I gave birth to Cassidy being so sad thinking there would not be another baby. I sat in my hospital room and sobbed to my mother that this would be the last baby I would get to snuggle and love on. It broke my heart.

It seems strange having just given birth to a baby that I would be already sad thinking this was the end, but that is how I felt. You see, I had always wanted four children, but I had come to believe Ray only wanted three.

With three children I knew we were already considered a larger family. Sadly, in the world today, big families are not the norm, and therefore, I was a bit unusual in my desire for lots of children.

So when Ray agreed to a fourth child it was a wonderful day. I remember the exact place I was when he said yes. When I conceived it was amazing, but the pregnancy started with a scare. Shortly after I found out I was pregnant, I began to bleed. I was sure I was miscarrying. My dear friend, Renee, told me to take Red Raspberry Leaf capsules or tea and to rest. I did this. In time, things settled down. My ultrasound came back with a little heartbeat, and I knew my wee one was safe.

Eight months later, Austin seemed ready to make his appearance at the beginning of April. My other, good friend, Denise, told me he couldn't come yet - it wasn't her birthday! I guess he decided to listen because on about 2 weeks later, on her birthday, Austin made his appearance!

Just like his brothers before him, he was born in 95 minutes. Yes, I am thankful to have such wonderful births!

He was aptly named Austin Isaiah Blue - so named because right before I got pregnant with him we decided to move away from the city and to the country. We gave him the name Blue because we were moving to the "Blue Skies", and the book of Isaiah gave me so much guidance, over the course of that uncertain but faithfilled year.

Right from the beginning, Austin was a dream baby. He rarely cried and was easily satisfied. But when he was three weeks old he began to cry, and cry hard. That poor little chap. When I looked in his mouth he had this *nasty* black abscess about the size of the upper joint of my baby finger where his front teeth would eventually come into his gums! It was horrifying. I couldn't imagine the pain.

This problem was dealt with by medication, and then mysteriously came back two more times. We eventually took him into Children's Hospital to see what it was, and they could not come up with any answers. They questioned if he might have a minor cleft palate that might be causing it, but no.

After this, things improved and when Austin was 5 weeks old we moved to the country. That little guy was brought up while we built our new home. He was a dream, and slept through the sound of the power saws and hammering.

This is the moses basket that he slept in on the jobsite every day.

Austin and His Big Brothers

Enjoying Watching His Brothers Play in the Snow

We did have a high chair for the first three kids. Then when it broke we figured we were done and money was tight, so we didn't replace when we had baby number four. So this 'poor little guy' had a makeshift highchair.

When Cooper came along I decided that I no longer could be sure what was going to happen regarding children, and things were better financially (since we welcomed more children God has taken care of our monetary needs and we have never done without what we need) so we bought new baby furniture. And now I refuse to sell it, cause who knows what the future holds! Hey look! Briton arrived unexpectedly didn't he? lol

Sneaking Treats! Caught Red-Handed

Welcoming Daddy Home

When we first moved to the country it was with some sacrifice. My hubby had to work about five hours from home for the first sixteen months. His departures were always very sad, but his arrivals were time for celebration. The boys sometimes would have a marching band complete with noise makers and hats and streamers. This always brought great smiles to Ray's face.

Helping to Build Our Home

Learning to Ski

Austin you are such an energetic happy child who is full of compassion and love. You are such a blessing and I am so thankful that you are a part of our family. When someone needs a nod of encouragement that's what you are for. When I look lousy, you don't notice. You'll still tell me I look wonderful. You are so easy to make smile. A few words of kindness, even when you are feeling down will cause you to smile the sweetest smile. I love you!

Happy Birthday, My Boy Austin!

.

Super Cooper Turns 7

Eight years ago we had four children. We had never discussed having any more, and so I guess we both figured our family was complete.

We headed to Winnipeg for a visit with my husband's family when Austin was 2 years old. While we visited with so many of Ray's relatives, I saw the beauty of the relationships of his large family. There were so many sisters and brothers, aunties, and uncles. It was wonderful for me, a girl coming from an emigrated English family where all I had was my mum and dad, brother and sister. I had always wanted more relatives, but it just didn't happen.

When we came home from our trip I really felt strongly that I would love to have another child. I was pretty sure that Ray was 'done', so it took a lot of courage to ask him if we could have another baby. The reason it was hard was because Ray is a nice guy and I didn't want him feeling pressured to say yes, simply because it would please me. I wanted it to be from his heart.

Finally, my dear friend, Renee, told me that if I didn't tell Ray he would not know what I was feeling, and who knows how he was already feeling?

I picked up my Bible and used it to gather the courage and see if I was feeling that it was what I was supposed to do. The Bible fell open to a verse:

Malachi 2:17 "Has not the Lord, made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. And so guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth."

As I read this verse I felt that I needed to approach Ray. But I sat on it and waited. Finally, the next day, I decided to talk to him, but first I took my Bible and read it. As I opened it that night, again I opened to this verse. This was no coincidence! The Bible was not marked to this page. It was not worn to this page. I was supposed to be reminded of this verse. I was being told, Step out in faith and trust Me.

And so I did. And Ray said yes.

When Cooper was born we already had his names picked out: Cooper Malachi Courage. At the time the reason he had Courage as a middle name was because I loved the sound of it, and I thought it was a good thing for any child to have a middle name of Courage. When they are scared and have to face something, yes, they have the Lord, but I felt it was also a strong name for facing situations that called for Courage! Just recently though, someone suggested that Cooper had the name Courage because it took courage to suggest another baby to Ray. Honestly, that never crossed my mind, but yes, it would be a good reason to name the baby Courage. And of course, you know why Malachi.

Cooper was born and he was a wonderful, precious gift. The only thing was he cried. And cried. And cried. And didn't sleep. We tried everything. Took him to the doctor, fed him lots, cuddled him. Anything I could think of. Finally, at seven months, I began feeding him ground rice cereal. Homemade stuff that would stick to the stomach. Wouldn't you know it. He was hungry! We are told to feed a couple tablespoons for a baby's first meal. Well, not Cooper. That child ate and ate and ate. He consumed about 2 full cups of ground rice! And he stopped crying, and he began to sleep. The poor child was hungry! But how could this have been? The doctor nor I had figured this. He was nursing well! But he was simply really hungry.

As you would figure it, this is the child that loves and *needs* food! He is always hungry, and always eating, and not a drop overweight. He must have an incredible metabolism.

More Please?

A Happy Little Ham!

What Is Santa Going to Bring Me?

Cooper is our sweet, loveable little guy. He has a sensitive heart and great big crocodile tears when he is sad. If he thinks that he might have hurt someone his heart breaks. He has embraced his new sisters from the very first day and adores them.

When Cooper had just turned two years old his daddy decided to go visit his mother in Winnipeg. We agreed Cooper should be the one to go. I had just had a baby and it was hard enough being left with five boys as it was, including a newborn. It made the most sense to send the littlest and keep the newborn, 6, 8, 12, and 14 year olds with me.

I didn't say it was an easy decision. I just knew I couldn't do it alone if I had a busy two year old as well as a 3 week old! So I packed his little bag and labeled his little body. Labeled his body, you say? Yessiree! I used a permanent marker and wrote his name and phone number on his back, in case Ray lost him at the airport, or anywhere else for that matter!


This trip was very special because it gave Ray a chance to introduce his mother to another one of her grandchildren, and all of his aunties and uncles got a chance to love on another little baby, since all of theirs were all grown-up.

They had a wonderful trip and of course, Ray made it home safely with my number 2 baby.


Cooper has always been such a blessing. An easygoing, kind little boy. I can't imagine life without him. I would encourage anyone that believes that children are a blessing, to listen to their hearts if their heart yearns for a baby. God *does* provide for His children and He will bless you for accepting one of His little ones. And you will be blessed by your child's very presence!

I have a funny story to tell about this very day. I had laid some rolls to rise by the fire. Cooper sat by the tray and looked, and looked. And then he edged closer, and then a bit closer. I could see he was being very tempted to touch. They looked so very fluffy and soft. He reached out with two little fingers and poked one. It deflated nicely. He looked around, and didn't see anyone watching. So then he popped another one, and another, and another. Until they were all gone. It was hilarious. I had it on video, but sadly that video was deleted by mistake. Such a mischievous little boy! But wouldn't you have also been tempted?


A busy day playing in his room at bedtime! Crashed and fell asleep on the book shelf.

One day, Cooper was planning on running away. See the backpack on his back? Well, as he was on his way downstairs heading out to the big wide world he noticed his little brother needed some help. So he stopped to help his little brother dress.

Cooper and Austin are the best of friends. Little partners in crime.

My Little Copper Headed Cutie
(how could I be expected to cut that gorgeous hair! I have old ladies coming up to me in stores remarking on how beautiful his hair is.)

What Happened To His Teeth!!???

Cooper and His Big Brother

Sound Asleep - All Worn Out

Dane decided to give Cooper swimming lessons when he was three years old. Cooper did amazingly well, until he ventured out on his own one day! We were feet from the beach but he slipped into a drop-off, and it was one of the scariest days of my life. I thought he had drowned! The irony is one of the other very terrifying incidents I lived through was when Dane disappeared at a lake when he was two. One moment he was there (I had just done a head count) and the next second he was gone. We found that he had gone walking up the lakeside looking for a 'friend'!! I thought he might have drowned.

Our unfinished outhouse. By the time we moved away from this house we still had not finished it. It did the trick though!



Our boys were involved in a homeschool play, A Mid-Summer Night's Dream. These three little ones played fairies.



Cooper with his delicious breakfast in Disneyland. He was in his element with a restaurant that served all you can eat!

Cooper was a maniac on the rollercoasters! There was not one that he would not race onto. He loved them all. His big brother learned courage from him.

It was Cooper's best day the day he met Winnie the Pooh! He stood in line waiting his turn and when he saw Winnie the Pooh, he called out, "Hello Winnie the Pooh!" He literally ran right up to Winnie and threw his arms around him! Such a delight.

Cooper turns 4, Cassidy 8, Briton 2

When he was 5, Cooper became a little Beaver in the local scout troop.

The Beginning of Learning to Read

Cooper was a very slow beginner when it came to reading. He could hear the ending, middle, and beginning sounds of words, but I couldn't for the life of me get him to learn his letter names and sounds.

When we began school this September, Cooper was just at the beginning of the Grade 1 workbooks. By the time February came (just after he turned seven), Cooper had completed the entire Grade 1 and Grade 2 years in Language Arts and Math! He is soaring in school and cannot be slowed down. We still have four more months of his Grade 1 year to get through and he is racing through his Grade 3 Phonics books. It is wonderful to see a child take off when they are ready to! Just last night he took a picture book off the shelf and insisted on forsaking me reading to him and Briton, so that he could read a book to his little brother! That is why I don't stress about when they begin to read! They will begin, when their minds are ready to digest that information, and when they are, watch out!

With the Rest of the Short Patrol

Welcoming Big Brother Home For Christmas

We always do birthdays pretty low-key. Years ago, we stopped having a crowd of kids over for the day and began instead to concentrate on spending the day as a family with the birthday child. A few times in their childhood we will do something special or have a few guests over. This was one of the quieter years for Cooper.

Cooper was so impressed when I gave him a pancake shaped like the number 7.

Cooper will always be "Super Cooper". That is a name he acquired a few years ago, and that is just who he is. Happy Birthday Super Cooper!! It is hard to believe you are seven years old. Your beautiful little freckled-face is getting more mature daily, but you will always be my little copper headed boy! I am so glad we listened when God whispered in my ear about 'one more little baby'. We are so blessed to have you.


.