A New Friend From Switzerland

I don't think I posted on this yet, but in October of this year, we had the pleasure of a house guest for three weeks. Many years ago we immigrated from England. My mum's best friend also immigrated with her family. Her son is now married to a Swiss girl. It was his wife's second cousin that was traveling around the world and needing somewhere to work in Canada for the summer that came to visit us.

We found her a job at a ranch for six weeks and then after that she came to us for three weeks. I really didn't need a helper as my home is very organized and I didn't want someone else doing the kids chores.  But I knew that we would have the opportunity to have someone from another culture visiting us and that was a great idea. So we did it.

Brigitte arrived and the children welcomed her with open arms. They loved her right away. She was very easy to get along with and most helpful. I honestly think she had a pretty easy job with us, because I only called on her a couple times a day to help with dinner dishes with my son, since his big brother was working on the house, or to play with the children.

 A Visit to Canada Through the Lens of Brigitte's Camera

  

Walks to See the Horses

 Tightening Extensions

Then after a few days I realized there was something she could do that was very valuable! She could make cookie dough! That is one job that I do myself as I like them just so. But it is 20 minutes out of my week that I would gladly pass on to someone else. So make cookie dough she did!

 

Each day I had her do three batches and I kept storing them in the freezer. Brigitte made enough dough to make 180 DOZEN cookies! 2060 cookies!! We now have enough dough to keep us going for over six months!

As well as Brigitte making cookie dough, she assisted me in stirring the huge amount of granola I mixed up. I had granola drying in the oven daily for about two weeks!

 

Then one night Brigitte offered to make a meal that she is accustomed to. When she began she had no clue how big a recipe it would entail. It was like feeding an army!! It was very good!

The visit continued and these are some of the things the children and Brigitte encountered:

 Cooper Mimicking His Big Brother

 The kids were collecting pine cones to have a pine cone war. Poor little Briton was given this suitcase and told to fill it! You can see by the pulling action that he did a pretty good job!

 A New Game - Bouncy Tummies

 Home Hair Cut

 Brigitte had a real laugh when I got out the vacuum to clean up the hair all over Dane.

 School

 Brigitte Taught Them How to Make a Xylophone

 She Was Very Brave Handling the Gerbil!

 Teenagers - You Never Know What They Will Wear Next!

Brigitte Had Never Seen Shopping Like This

Our Family

The Boys and Brigitte - What Fun She Gave Them All!!

While she was here they learned German, played cards, and games, and went on many walks to meet horses and play at the playground.

We really enjoyed her stay and it taught me I could have a Mother's Helper here to stay. I really don't need 'help', but having someone stay to be a big sister would be a wonderful thing. We hope to send Cassidy to Switzerland next year and if he does, he will look up Brigitte and her family.
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Old Friends Reconnection

Years ago, when Cassidy was about seven years old we were friends, actually more of acquaintances with a family. They also homeschooled, but they only had two children. Their oldest was Cassidy's age. Oddly enough, he was Cassidy's 'twin'; both being born on the same day! Their other child was a wee little boy. Just a babe.

Time passed, they moved away, we moved on out of that homeschool group, and we didn't see each other for a long time. Then one day, this mum reconnected with me. Or at least she tried! For two years after the girls came home she tried. She was very patient! I was just keeping my head above water and really, honestly, not doing a ton of extra things. Just trying to get back into the swing of things with two extra children. Imagine having twin babies. I had two friends who did that. I barely saw them until their kids were two years old. They were just coping. I was much the same. Once I hit the one year mark it got much easier, but still not simple.

Now, life is normal. I can't imagine life without eight children. (smile) And then one day this mum and I tried again. We almost made it. Life happened and this time it wasn't me. (smile) A few more months went by and then we tried again. And made it. And the rest is history. What was I waiting for! (laugh)

We have had so many wonderful talks that only a mum of many, who homeschools, who has a multi-cultural family, who has big ones and little ones - could get! We have so many things in common, including, our good points and flaws.

It is such a blessing to have a friend who I can be downright honest with and know that I will not be judged. Instead, we share our weaknesses only to help the other one up. Many times she or I will share a situation and the other knows how to handle it because they are dealing with the same thing. Or perhaps, we know what to do, but know how *hard* it is to do that thing we must do, so we can commiserate and be *real*. Noone is listening but us. Noone is judging.

I am very thankful for my new *friend* Chelsea and all that she has brought to my life. Her wisdom, her kindness, her strength, her laughter, her gentle corrections, her comfortableness in my home! I hope you can all find someone that gets *you* and is on the same journey you are one. Because I can tell you they are about the only person who doesn't mind you waking them up at 7:47 am with a critical question about a situation that is going on *right now and I need advice!* (laugh) Yes, we have done that to each other. We now know to answer each other's crisis calls right away, because many times it helps us make the right decision versus what we might have instead reacted like!

Not to mention, when you have six kids, or eight, like me, and are both stay-at-home mums on a tight budget, it is really nice when your kids meet someone else that eats oatmeal many mornings a week! (laugh)

Here are some fun pictures we had when the kids came over for an impromptu birthday party for Cooper, Cassidy, and Ben.

 

 Who Needs a Schoolyard. 

Between us we have fourteen children! What fun they had! There was a friend for everyone! Cassidy and Ben shared a birthday. Austin had his friend, D., the girls had A, who was just their age, Cooper had a new friend, just a year younger, L., and Briton had little M. And then we can't forget sweet little Baby O, who had noone his age. :o)

 Kids Doing Lunch Clean-Up

 

I just want to add a somber note to the end of this email. I heard from a friend this morning that she has closed down her blog. This mum was real. She told it as it was. But someone felt she was not doing the job right, so they called Family Services on her, and now her family is going through turmoil. 

This is so unfair. Unless you are an adoptive mum or dad, you will never know the challenges that a family faces. You will also never know the love a mum feels for an adopted child, while *still* going through the ups and downs and twists and turns of transitioning a child from another family and / or culture into your family. It is an adjustment for everyone and it takes time. It is not always easy. But we are all in it for the long haul because we love our kids - all of them. 

So please, when you read someone's story and they are sharing, remember that you are not hearing the whole story. You are hearing a piece of it. Don't judge them from a sentence or two, or even a paragraph or page. Get to know the real people. And usually in Blog Land we don't get that opportunity. I am very thankful, though, that I do have a chance to connect with a few of the real people out there.

Also, blogs have become somewhere that people share with other adoptive families, because we all need support. I can't tell you how helpful the blogs are that are very honest. The ones that sugarcoat things don't do anything for me. I don't read them anymore. I want the nuts and bolts, the meat and potatoes. It is those blogs and those people being real that has moved me along the most in my adoption journey. 

And my journey is about becoming the best mum I can be to my adopted girls. Do I know what it feels like to be in their shoes? Absolutely not. So I do the best I can learning and gleaning from others who are also on the same path, while reaching out to others in the hopes that what I learn can help others.

This is one of the main reasons I have considered and am still considering going private. My children and family are the most important thing to me. The only reason for staying public was to be a source of information for those that follow, like the ones that have helped me. 

Just before I talked about going private some weeks ago,  I had heard of a family in the States that had their kids taken away because of her sharing on her blog. I have read some of this woman's blog. She is another one that is real. And real is not always pretty! It can be downright ugly. 

But you know what? When we stepped into adoption we had no clue. We had been to the seminars and been told 'all the right stuff' like attachment and open adoption, and fetal alcohol syndrome, but we had not learned about ages being wrong, brains being damaged by trauma related injuries, and so many things that International Adoption can bring. 

So is it worth it? To leave a blog public to help strangers, when the very same strangers can hurt? I don't know. I am still thinking about it. I don't have anything to hide, but then neither did my friend who was called on by Family Services. 

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Friends From Switzerland

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When I was a child my family immigrated to Canada with two other families. My mum and my "Aunty Morag" were old boarding school chums. They had met at age 11. We grew up with the boys and Aunty Morag and Uncle Bryan living about an hour from us. They were like cousins to us. Now Aunty Morag is gone, but her boys are still out there. At Christmas, we were fortunate enough to have Alastair and his family visit us. That was wonderful as we had not seen him for about sixteen years.

In August, Duncan and his family came to visit us.

Waiting for Our Friends

Their boys are the same ages as Cassidy and Austin.

Missing Three of Our Boys

It was only an overnight flying visit as they were on the road visiting many people, but it was great all the same.

Our boys introduced the other boys to the PS 2. They don't own one at their house. These boys are the kind that hike up in the Alps and do all kinds of outdoor adventuring.

We took the boys and their parents to our land to ride the motorbikes and ATV. That was a royal hit!

Our Van Almost at Full Capacity

Robin and Cassidy

Lessons on the ATV

Solo Driver

Briton Showing How It's Done

Riding Briton's Bike

It was a wonderful visit and we are now talking about sending our boys back and forth over the next few years. What a wonderful way to experience the culture: stay with family friends for summer holidays! Our boys were so sad to see them all go home and wished they lived closer. So do I!

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