We live a life of faith-filled adventure! We are a family with eight energetic, loving, crazy, happy, and very noisy children. Ray and I thought our family was complete when we had four children. Now, when people ask us if we will have any more children, we simply answer, "We don't know." We have learned that God sometimes has surprises in store for us, as He did when He brought home our two girls from Ethiopia!
I looked outside one day to see Cooper working like a busy little beaver. He was mixing up mud and applying it to the cracks in the loghouse to winterize it. But wait. WHAT was he wearing???
I walked a little closer to get a better look, then I told him to *stand still*. I needed to get a photo. This was something else! What child chooses to take a pair of pants that have holes in the knees and deliberately create such ugly 'shorts'? What child? My child! He loved his pants. When I finally put them in the garbage he was not too pleased! lol
But just look at that smile! Who could make him take those 'shorts' off and put on something decent? Not this mother!! *smile*
Another day I found him and Raine working together to create a door for their loghome.
(This was obviously back near the summer and I am a little late in publishing it!)
.
It's that time again. My December boys had their birthday. Years ago, when I had a chance to decide if they should share a birthday because of an induced birth I decided against it. I thought they might resent it in years to come. I wish I had stuck with sharing it. They have always enjoyed having a birthday together. Once, when Cassidy turned 13, we had a solo party for him where his friends came over for a pizza and big guys birthday, but other than that they have been the best of brothers usually sharing a cake as well as a birthday.
Cooper Wearing the Official Birthday Hat
Cooper's Turn
And Then Cassidy!!
Happy Birthday to my two big guys!! Hard to believe how fast Cooper is growing up. Makes me quite sad. You have always been a sweet and loving little boy. No wonder all the little girls pick you for their friend. You are kind and have such a protective nature!
And Cassidy you are moseying through your teenage years in a pleasant fashion. I love having your creative energy and your enthusiasm for all things that you try. I look forward to seeing what you do with your life!
Years ago, when Cassidy was about seven years old we were friends, actually more of acquaintances with a family. They also homeschooled, but they only had two children. Their oldest was Cassidy's age. Oddly enough, he was Cassidy's 'twin'; both being born on the same day! Their other child was a wee little boy. Just a babe.
Time passed, they moved away, we moved on out of that homeschool group, and we didn't see each other for a long time. Then one day, this mum reconnected with me. Or at least she tried! For two years after the girls came home she tried. She was very patient! I was just keeping my head above water and really, honestly, not doing a ton of extra things. Just trying to get back into the swing of things with two extra children. Imagine having twin babies. I had two friends who did that. I barely saw them until their kids were two years old. They were just coping. I was much the same. Once I hit the one year mark it got much easier, but still not simple.
Now, life is normal. I can't imagine life without eight children. (smile) And then one day this mum and I tried again. We almost made it. Life happened and this time it wasn't me. (smile) A few more months went by and then we tried again. And made it. And the rest is history. What was I waiting for! (laugh)
We have had so many wonderful talks that only a mum of many, who homeschools, who has a multi-cultural family, who has big ones and little ones - could get! We have so many things in common, including, our good points and flaws.
It is such a blessing to have a friend who I can be downright honest with and know that I will not be judged. Instead, we share our weaknesses only to help the other one up. Many times she or I will share a situation and the other knows how to handle it because they are dealing with the same thing. Or perhaps, we know what to do, but know how *hard* it is to do that thing we must do, so we can commiserate and be *real*. Noone is listening but us. Noone is judging.
I am very thankful for my new *friend* Chelsea and all that she has brought to my life. Her wisdom, her kindness, her strength, her laughter, her gentle corrections, her comfortableness in my home! I hope you can all find someone that gets *you* and is on the same journey you are one. Because I can tell you they are about the only person who doesn't mind you waking them up at 7:47 am with a critical question about a situation that is going on *right now and I need advice!* (laugh) Yes, we have done that to each other. We now know to answer each other's crisis calls right away, because many times it helps us make the right decision versus what we might have instead reacted like!
Not to mention, when you have six kids, or eight, like me, and are both stay-at-home mums on a tight budget, it is really nice when your kids meet someone else that eats oatmeal many mornings a week! (laugh)
Here are some fun pictures we had when the kids came over for an impromptu birthday party for Cooper, Cassidy, and Ben.
Who Needs a Schoolyard.
Between us we have fourteen children! What fun they had! There was a friend for everyone! Cassidy and Ben shared a birthday. Austin had his friend, D., the girls had A, who was just their age, Cooper had a new friend, just a year younger, L., and Briton had little M. And then we can't forget sweet little Baby O, who had noone his age. :o)
Kids Doing Lunch Clean-Up
I just want to add a somber note to the end of this email. I heard from a friend this morning that she has closed down her blog. This mum was real. She told it as it was. But someone felt she was not doing the job right, so they called Family Services on her, and now her family is going through turmoil.
This is so unfair. Unless you are an adoptive mum or dad, you will never know the challenges that a family faces. You will also never know the love a mum feels for an adopted child, while *still* going through the ups and downs and twists and turns of transitioning a child from another family and / or culture into your family. It is an adjustment for everyone and it takes time. It is not always easy. But we are all in it for the long haul because we love our kids - all of them.
So please, when you read someone's story and they are sharing, remember that you are not hearing the whole story. You are hearing a piece of it. Don't judge them from a sentence or two, or even a paragraph or page. Get to know the real people. And usually in Blog Land we don't get that opportunity. I am very thankful, though, that I do have a chance to connect with a few of the real people out there.
Also, blogs have become somewhere that people share with other adoptive families, because we all need support. I can't tell you how helpful the blogs are that are very honest. The ones that sugarcoat things don't do anything for me. I don't read them anymore. I want the nuts and bolts, the meat and potatoes. It is those blogs and those people being real that has moved me along the most in my adoption journey.
And my journey is about becoming the best mum I can be to my adopted girls. Do I know what it feels like to be in their shoes? Absolutely not. So I do the best I can learning and gleaning from others who are also on the same path, while reaching out to others in the hopes that what I learn can help others.
This is one of the main reasons I have considered and am still considering going private. My children and family are the most important thing to me. The only reason for staying public was to be a source of information for those that follow, like the ones that have helped me.
Just before I talked about going private some weeks ago, I had heard of a family in the States that had their kids taken away because of her sharing on her blog. I have read some of this woman's blog. She is another one that is real. And real is not always pretty! It can be downright ugly.
But you know what? When we stepped into adoption we had no clue. We had been to the seminars and been told 'all the right stuff' like attachment and open adoption, and fetal alcohol syndrome, but we had not learned about ages being wrong, brains being damaged by trauma related injuries, and so many things that International Adoption can bring.
So is it worth it? To leave a blog public to help strangers, when the very same strangers can hurt? I don't know. I am still thinking about it. I don't have anything to hide, but then neither did my friend who was called on by Family Services.
I am sorry that I did not update on Cooper on the blog. I updated on Facebook but didn't do it here.
His EEG, CT scan and physical exam came back perfectly fine. We are to keep an eye out for symptoms and keep a diary. The ophtha-neurologist has given me her personal email to keep her updated if things crop up again. In the meantime he has had some other weird physical symptoms - weakness in his legs one day, and on and off nausea, which actually caused him to stop eating! lol That boy doesn't stop eating for anything, so it had to be real.
Thanks for all that have prayed and I will update if things change. At the moment I am very reassured that any nasty diagnoses were ruled out!
We have a fence and it had one piece missing for months. One day, I saw there were two pieces missing. It sat like that for a long time. Then last week, a friend came over to drop something off, and he said to me, "What happened to your fence?"
I looked over at it shocked to see there were now about ten pieces missing! I shook my head and replied, "I have no clue. Probably the boys building a fort."
This man is like a Grandpa to our kids. He shook his headed and laughed. It sounded like I didn't care. I do. I just know that boys being boys I am probably right. Why get mad? Just get them to fix it. But I didn't check out my theory right then.
But later that afternoon Cooper called me and asked me to check out the fort they had built....
There Be My Fence Boards.... Oh, and The House Siding.... (lol)
When Colt and Dane were little we lived out in the wilderness. We were forty minutes from town and there were no piano teachers near us. Besides, we had no money and there was no hope of having lessons, even if a teacher was available.
My sister was an amazing musician and I remember the sound of music in the house. I always wanted the same for my home, but it didn't seem to be going to be possible.
Then about five years ago, we found a teacher in town and we managed to coordinate the lessons with shopping trips. It worked out. Colt was now 'too old' at 15, but Dane at 13, and Cassidy at 9, were perfect. We did it for about about six months, and then for some reason it stopped. Can't remember what happened. Perhaps it was when we were moving and building. Could have been about money.
Anyhow...
I still really wanted my kids to learn an instrument, and I knew the piano was the best place to start. Last year, when the girls were home, and I had school money to spend I looked into lessons. But it was too difficult. I had heard that the piano teacher I was interested in did home lessons if there were four students. I figured that would work. Turns out she changed and no longer does that. I put it on hold again. I couldn't see myself fitting six children into a music waiting room and sitting there for two hours.
Then this year, I reapproached the same woman and asked her again about lessons. The break finally came. She offered me four half-hour lessons for a total of $40. Not only that, my children were now old enough that I could take them, some schoolbooks, and set them up in the piano room for two hours.
The child that needs the most attention stays for a lesson, and then I leave and go shopping with said child, plus Savannah and Briton. The other three stay behind for another 1.5 hours. One child plays, while the other two sit quietly with schoolbooks. They each have a predetermined seat, and an order in which they play. This way there is no confusion, and they are wonderful children. They sit quietly, do their schoolwork and wait for their lessons. They are loving the lessons and it is beautiful to hear the tinkle of music in the house again!
It was such an exciting day when the piano we ordered arrived!
Here is Our Piano Arriving!
Cassidy and I Building the Piano
Completed Piano
Once the piano was built the little boys asked if they could have the box. For sure! I know how wonderful a box can be. There are so many things to build with a cardboard box! So off they went, struggling and straining to carry that huge box up the stairs.
They Had a Plan...
They Built a Dog House.
And of course, the two little 'dogs' had to sleep in their dog house that night! *smile*
.
Cooper had to stay up til midnight last night and get up this morning at 5:00 am. Talk about gross! I was so tired from driving, while trying to keep my arms from tensing up for the entire drive, that I needed a good sleep.
Well, Cooper enjoyed his evening! lol
He sat playing computer games, doing puzzles, and eating chocolate.
The next morning (today) we headed into the Big City where we had to be at Children's Hospital at 9:00 am. I love the treatment that that hospital gives. I always feel that they love children and they treat the mums nicely too!
We had a sweet girl from England (here one month) who did the EEG.
First she explained what she would do.
Then she measured his head, so that she could attach the electrodes in all the correct places.
He was then all hooked up. She asked him to do different things, and then she had him fall asleep. And he did!
We were then send to the Neuro-ophtalmologist for a thorough - did I say thorough- exam!
"She's not going to look 'down there' is she?" He asked with a very worried expression. lol
Trying not to grin after the CT scan was done.
Cooper's take on the exams?
"That was fun!"
Still waiting for results from the CT scan. Waiting is not easy!
Sitting here in Children's Hospital while Cooper is having an EEG of his brain. Please pray for a good test and that they find it is migraine and nothing else!
In September, Cooper began getting some straight images in his line of vision. He would see little white or pink flashes, or other times he would get shapes. Always interesting like, pink circles that would slowly recede, or red squares, or blue rectangles. This began with it happening a few times over the course of two weeks, and then it crept up in intensity to where it was numerous times a day.
I took him to see an optometrist after the first few times, and his eye exam was good. A few weeks later, since it had become a regular occurence, I took him back to the optometrist for another visit. Again he checked his eyes and he was pleased with all that he saw. We were lined up to come back for a peripheral vision check in a few days.
Then something happened that caused us to go back to the optometrist sooner. Actually, it began with a trip to the emergency room at the hospital.
We had put some garbage in our van to go to the dump, and in this were some old airsoft guns. These are guns that boys play with and they use plastic bbs. Our boys are only *ever* allowed to use them if they wear full body gear and goggles. And the only ones allowed to use them are over the age of 10. Plus, they can't use them anywhere except restricted areas, due to the safety of the other children. So they usually go to this place they call Sniper's Point.
This day we were taking these old toys to the dump and the guns were supposed to be empty. But this was not true. There was one bullet loaded in one gun. There was a terribly unfortunate accident and Cooper got shot at pretty close range - under 3 feet.
It was really very frightening and we rushed him to the emergency room. His eye was patched and ointment put in and we were sent home for the weekend. On Monday, I took him to the optometrist, who did a thorough eye exam. His vision had dropped to 20/40 from 20/20. He could not do a real check into the eye because there was blood in the iris, plus inside the eye itself. He did kind of freak me out when he asked me if we had the bullet? No, why? Because we need to know it is not in the eye. Ick! That had not even occurred to me! Upon examination he was able to reassure us that the eye had not been pierced.
He gave us a prescription for two kinds of medications, and we were to come back in a couple days. One medicine basically put his eye in a coma for the week to help it to heal, and the other was to heal the wound.
Obviously, Cooper's eye was extremely painful and he could not handle any light, whatsoever, in either eye. The optometrist gave Cooper some dark glasses to wear for the week. When we came back to see him a couple of days later, he was able to tell us that Cooper's vision had improved to the 20/30 line.
This is Cooper's eye as it was recovering over the week. Still angry red and very light sensitive, but improving! By the end of two weeks his vision was back to normal and his eye totally healed. We are so very thankful to God because though he got an immediate blood spot in the lower half of his iris, he has recovered.
The one great thing that came of this was that he was seen by an ophthalmologist during this event. Given that we live in a small town we do not have specialists in our town. They come to our town once a month or we have to travel to them. As it turned out, while Cooper was recovering from his eye injury, the ophthalmologist who pops into town monthly was here. Our optometrist called us in so that he could have a look at him. He was satisfied by the recovery, but he was also able to reassure me with regard to the strange visual auras that Cooper has experienced.
He did tell me that the sporadic nausea that Cooper had had about four times through the month, plus the almost non-existent headaches that he had also had at other times than the auras or nausea, could indeed be related to each other. None of the three things were really happening at the same time, and except for the visual happenings, nothing was enough to really notice. So that reassured me. We still have an appointment in the Big City to have his eyes and brain examined thoroughly, for which I am thankful, but I am quite reassured because he has not had these occurances in at least a month.
So given all that Cooper had been through in that two week period, I felt that a "Date" was in order. We headed out of the optometrist's office and headed to my favourite coffee shop: Tim Horton's.
Cooper could not sit still. Seriously, he was wiggling and jiggling, and moving and grooving. He was looking this way and that way, checking out the customers and just generally *not still*. I finally asked him if he had "ants in your pants?" He giggled and said:
"I'm Just So Happy!"
Having a coffee date with mum, where usually we just drive through. This was the first time that I had actually taken him inside. And he was just so stinking happy! *smile* Shows you how important something as a little coffee date are!
Sending our children to camp is a wonderful, but expensive summer activity. It is about $300 per child, and so we have not sent them each year. Cassidy has been a couple times, Austin went twice when we were in Ethiopia, and Dane has been once. Going this year was out of the question because we just didn't (don't) have the money. I have even had to cancel three road trip excursions that I was going to make.
Then something happened. Two of my children were dealing with a sin issue. This was something that really needed to be addressed. We had been addressing it, but it was not going away. Then I had the idea to give them a passage from the Bible to memorize. Now you have to know my children and memory work to appreciate this story. I have tried, tried, tried to get them to memorize a verse at a time.
Last fall, the children worked on verses as a group. No good. No one really learned. I did have Austin work with the kids and get them to learn a couple, but that was it. I figured there must have been something wrong with my children. Others learn, why can't mine!
But in desperation I gave the passage Exodus 20: 1-20 to two children - a big and a small one. In no time at all they had both learned it.
I realized then that I had something. These two children had shown me they could memorize passages. Perhaps the key was that they were on their own working on it. So I decided to give it to the other two. I now had Cassidy, Austin, Cooper and Raine memorizing this passage.
What I did was buy them each a notebook from the dollar store. Each different. Each attractive to that child. I then gave them a version of the Bible that I felt was good for them: International Children's Version. It is very readable and simple to memorize, yet true to the original meaning.
They each sat down and wrote out the passage. Some wrote the whole thing out. Others wrote out what they were going to memorize that day. The ones that were more proficient would memorize 3 verses a day and the ones that struggled memorized 2 verses. It proved to be quite painless for them all! They would spend about 15 minutes writing out the verse and about 30-60 minutes practicing.
It became a routine. During quiet time, while doing dishes, mowing the lawn, having a shower, walking through *stores*, I would hear children quoting their verses. It was absolutely wonderful! One day, I drove to the town near me and on the way there it was remarkable. All the children had their verse books and they were all on different parts of their passages. I had Cassidy's verse book in the front and he and I were both using it. I could just imagine God looking down from heaven and seeing this car where five voices were simultaneously practicing the Word of God quietly to themselves. I have to say it was the best moment in all our memorization for me!
I then had an older child do something that was upsetting. I was reading my Bible one night looking for a word of comfort/direction/guidance. I came to Psalm 119. In this verse it says: What can a young man do to cleanse his ways...
This was perfect. I continued reading and loved what I was reading. It was relevant to all of us. So I added this to our list. We had already conquered The Ten Commandments. Why not this one?
During the course of memorizing this passage I remembered that a Bible Camp in the Interior of our province had a deal where the child could memorize himself to camp. For every 20 verses a child could have a day at camp for free.
I decided to call up the camp and see if the ones our children had already done would be accepted, since they were not on the camp list. They were thrilled to hear the children were memorizing and said, Certainly!
I printed out the required verses and put them in plastic page protectors. The children then copied them out verse by verse into their notebooks. Each day they were required to memorize 2-3 verses before their play began. I had no battles, no complaining, simply because it became something we did every day. Even Briton and Savannah began memorizing verses. Because they both have language problems, it is much harder for them, so they were not at the calibre of the older kids, but they did well!
By the time, Cassidy was ready for camp two months later, he had memorized 108 verses. He headed to camp and the Director picked up the verse book, chose a verse, and Cassidy spoke it out. He was very impressed with Cassidy. Cassidy's cost for camp? $67 (His memorization saved him nearly $250!) Not only that, but 108 verses are now hidden in his heart!
When it came time for Cooper to go to camp he was also ready. Before he went his dad said, "It'll be good if he can remember them." It was the funniest thing. I turned to Cooper and said, "Cooper, Exodus 20: 1-2"
Ray bust out laughing when Cooper proceeded to race through the passage. I then showed off a little more and kept on giving him passages, and passage after passage, Cooper did not fail. He was able to recite 106 verses.
At the end of it, Ray said, "They should start giving memory verses instead of spelling bees!"
I agree. I like spelling bees, but memory verses change the heart!
On the last days before camp, as Cooper was practicing his last verses, he would grin and say, "I'm so proud of myself." He wasn't being bigheaded; he was simply so amazed at himself, and he sure deserved to be. He is 7 years old and blew the socks off the Director at camp! His camp cost us $27!!
Reciting His Verses
Cooper's First Sleep Away Camp
Filthy Upon Pick Up Day!
Cooper's Book
Fat Little Book Full of God's Word A Real Precious Keepsake
Austin was the third child to get to camp. He had extra weeks to do the work and so was able to keep on memorizing past where the other boys got to. He did the full 140 verses, and somehow ended up with 2 extra. He recited his verse for the Director and earned his admiration, FREE CAMP, plus $13 tuck money for all of his hard work.
The Director told me each time I dropped off the children how our family had blessed him and inspired him by the fact that they had earned their way to camp. Truly, we were blessed. Those children could have taken a Campership, but I really don't feel that we could. That just wasn't an option. We are building a house. We have made that a priority financially. But there is no reason the children couldn't *earn* their way to camp. And truly, they spent a good hour or two a day working on their verses, and so they really did earn their way to camp. And I really think that is the *best* way to get to camp! They get camp and hide God's Word in their hearts.
Tom said the verses would be up on the website by November. I asked him if he could please put them up sooner, so we could get on with memorizing in September, rather than cramming in May - July. By the time I dropped off Austin at camp (August) he had already printed out the sheet. Let the memorizing begin! .
