Raising children is a constant evolution of parenting methods - at least for me it is! I am always eager to learn from others and gleaning wherever I go. I am so thankful to have many children. It gives me opportunities to learn from my mistakes and try all over. Sadly, the oldest children didn't get the benefits of my new found 'wisdom'. *smile*
I have really gone back and forth and around the mulberry bush over the issue of: to follow traditional schooling versus following a child's interests. After the first two years of homeschooling, I realized that textbooks were not the route I wanted to go. I was blessed to find the Five In A Row website and that launched our learning from a platform. In that case, the platform was a wonderful children's story that opened doors to learning Applied Maths, Social Studies, Geography, Art, and Science - all while enjoying a story curled up on the couch with my little boys.
From here, I moved onto Ambleside - this was a spin-off of Charlotte Mason's theories of homeschool. She believed in Copywork (where a child copies from great writings and in doing so, learns punctuation, grammar, vocabulary, spelling, and quality writing), Dictation (where I would dictate sentences to the child, and they would then write from hearing what I had said. This improved their listening skills, plus all other language arts.
They would read great works of literature and 'Living Books'. I have a passion for books that draw me in and make me feel like I am in the adventure, and I wanted my children to have the same love for books.
We began doing Nature Studies (observing nature and drawing what we saw) and Artist Studies (where we studied great works of art). Yesterday, a friend of our boys was over having dinner and a replica of the Mona Lisa was hanging near the dining room table. One of our sons said to me with absolute amazement, "He didn't know it was the Mona Lisa!"
I am so appreciative that I have exposed my boys to Renoir, Monet, Van Gogh, Picasso and other famous artists! Last year, while in Vancouver, we fell across an art store that sold a whole selection of paintings by famous artists. Of course, they were just replicas, but our boys were thrilled to see paintings that they have duplicated when they were just 8 and 10 years of age!
Mozart, Beethoven, and other classical music are also recognized around our house. There are so many ways to teach a children love of classical music and art, simply by putting it in front of them! Classical music is all around us, and if we have not opened our children's eyes to it, it will stay as background music, but as soon as you have them listen, pay attention and appreciate a piece of music, it suddenly becomes personal. We have been in elevators and stores when our children were quick to identify classical music that they knew.
When one of my children was three years old and his daddy had been away at work for some time, he and his dad walked past a picture done by Albrecht Durer, and this little one said simply, "Daddy that is Albrecht Durer." My husband had no clue and was amazed his little boy knew such things!
It really wasn't difficult: Put up a painting by an artist, tell them who did it, read to them about this artist to help them *know* him or her, have them reproduce it in a simple manner, and then continue doing the same thing with other works of art. It is a wonderful way to learn!
As the years passed, we continued learning through things that interested the children. This wonderful way of learning continued until the Dreaded Grade 10 Year of Highschool. At this point, I made a mistake. Many will disagree and that is their choice.
During that transitional time of learning I began to do the not so unusual panic. For years we had schooled as we saw fit: never following what the public schools did - learning when we felt that we should learn. Who says you should learn about the solar system in grade 5, simply because the government says that is when it should be taught! I believe in teaching when a child is interested in something! Or letting a child learn to read when he is ready versus because he is 5 years old!
Cassidy (then 11), one day, decided he wanted to create a 'world'. He spent many hours with headphones, plugged into an audio machine, listening to novels on cd, while he papier mached a large piece of cardboard (3'x6') into a rectangular world. It was full of mountains, rivers, lakes. He has now begun painting this world. Noone asked him to do this. He was simply interested in creating something and off he went.
READING: Audio Books
ART: papier mache project construction, and then painting, gluing and creating to bring his world to life!
SCIENCE: how to make volcanoes, rivers, and desert to look real
MATH: mixing the correct ratios of flour and water to make his glue
And then, today, my newly turned 10 year old was given the bread machine. It has sat idle on the shelf for the last three years. No more. This child was given a bread machine cookbook and the machine. He was told he could try out every recipe in the book! Today, he began with Cheese Filled Pretzels. Sounds yummy!! During this first lesson of using the bread machine he did the following:
SCIENCE: Learned about yeast and what it does; Identified and found different ingredients, learned to substitute one ingredient that is missing for another that we have.
READING: Choose a recipe; read a cook book.
MATH: Had a long lesson in how many 1/4th are in a cup; how many thirds are in 2/3 etc. Fractions are much better taught through a practical method than simply by seeing abstract numbers on a sheet of paper. And he really didn't even know he was having a math lesson. When I moved on and told him he needed 3/4 tsp of salt, he was able to tell me he needed a 1/2 and a 1/4 tsp to make it up. He didn't know he had just done 1/2+ 1/4 = 3/4 - but he had!
LIFE SKILLS: Creating a recipe, seeing it through, kneading the dough, mixing the filling, using an oven, and then joyfully serving his ever-so-happy to eat family his successful treat!
So, where did I begin to stop this wonderful way of learning? When my oldest hit the end of Grade 9. I began to fear the future. Would he be equipped for what he needed to enter university? Would I fail him if he did not take every dry subject that the public school felt he needed to learn? And thus began the drudgery and loss of the next three years of a young, excited, inquisitive life.
This was the boy that creating an airplane in our basement when he was 9 years old. It had a wingspan of 14', 3 baby car seats attached to the body, and a running electric propeller! This boy could take any problem and solve it. He doesn't see problems; he sees solutions, and they are always unusual!
A few days ago, he dad asked what was the wire that was extending out of his window up into the air. Our 'Einstein' son (as one son likes to call his brother), replied, "It is my cell phone antenna." And knowing that boy - it worked! How many other kids do you know that scoot around on the roof with wires and wire cutters because they know that if they do this they think they might get phone service where normally there is none?
I wouldn't. I am told 'no service' - I just accept it. Not that boy. He has to prove that he can't come up with a solution before he quits. But the point is - he always looks to solve the problem!
Well, for the last three years, I have seen this boy struggle through traditional school grades 10 - 12. You know, many brilliant people such as, Edison, Einstein, Mozart, Nelson Rockefeller, Walt Disney, Winston Churchill, Tommy Hilfiger, George Washington, Tom Cruise all have/had learning disabilities of one form or another.
I always wonder what would have happened if I had not been so fearful of not doing it the 'right way', and had instead, allowed him to flower how he was intended: inventing things, creating, solving problems, taking things apart. I do firmly believe now, that he would have gone on to do great things. But instead, I let fear take hold and forced my square peg boy into a round hole!
When I visited with my 2nd cousin in California a couple years ago, I discussed our oldest son with her. I told her of his difficulties in school, and then I told her of all his amazing strengths and brilliant mind.
(Yet, it was a mind that did not fit neatly into a school classroom type workstyle, but that did not make it dumb, just different.)
You know what she said to me?
"He is the type of student that I was looking for." This lady (now in her 70s) was a world-renowned cardiopathologist (and still gives her speeches around the world) and was the Dean of Admissions at Stanford University! She told me that "A's" were not what they were after. During their interview with hopeful students, they were looking for the young people that asked the questions and then tried to solve the problems. A mere "A" did not ensure the student a placement in Stanford University! What confirmation that I needed to follow my child's interests!
Sadly though, years and years of conditioning, caused me to go home and continue on the same weary path. We got the curriculum from the public schools and began to follow the system. He is nearly at the end of this journey and it has been hard. At times I feel overwhelmed with grief at the joy that he lost due to never being able to get through schoolwork in a normal length of time. How much time he lost to just trying to get done.
Whereas, if I had let him learn in his own style and not worried about the future so much, he might have been the next great inventor of something incredible. I surely believe that! As it is, I know this boy. I was watching a movie: Annapolis the other night, and I saw this one young man that had come from a hard life. He was determined to get through the bootcamp. Only the best made it through this program. It was for the Navy and it was tough! As I watched this young man outlast and outdo the other cadets, I said to my husband, "That is Colt!"
And that IS my son! He is the best at anything he puts his mind to. Today, for instance, he was sent outside to stack logs, as a break from school, because during school his mind was off doing things with lighters and wax and 'dangerous boy stuff'. *smile* I looked out the window and though he is not thrilled to be out there, I turned to my husband and said, "Typical Colt. His stack is perfect." He does everything in full measure and is highly respected in the community because of it!
To show you who this boy is, let me tell you something. Colt is in the Army Cadets, and each year they pick the top 20 physically fit cadets in each province to try out for the week-long "Pre-Para" elimination round.
The real "Para" is a military program where the best cadets from across our country get to train with the top military men in a Paratrooping course. There are twenty cadets in each province and they compete at "Pre-Para" for one week, and from those twenty, only five are chosen to train in the six week military paratrooping course in the summer. Colt finished in 6th place. He was told that if one person drops from the course he will be taking their spot. So a couple weeks ago, he was gone for 24 hours. He was flown by the military from our town to the Big City to have his medical testing all done. This is so that he will be ready if he gets a last minute call. (As an aside: While there, he discovered that he was almost deaf in one ear!!! We had never known. A tiny bit more and he would not have been able to qualify. On the other hand, his other ear was above average!)
So, for those of you who have read Colt's history, this is the boy that received the Obstacle Award three years ago, because he so struggled with written work and yet, had managed to move up levels in Cadets and had begun public school.
Fast forward to now: he is the head cadet in his corp, teaching as many as three lessons in an evening. Lessons that used to take him weeks to prepare. He, like any smart kid with a learning disability, has figured out ways around his difficulties. The challenges have not disappeared, but he has worked the system, so he can do what he has to, while not being overwhelmed. On the contrary: I get comments from his officers about how exemplerary and outstanding he is. And I know this is true!
He will graduate in 2 months and then is hoping to enter the military as a pilot.
So what have I learned from all this? To not push a child in a direction he is not meant to go. And to listen to his heart and his interests. But most importantly, to not fear the system, the future, or what others think he should be doing.
This child has always been goal driven - ever since I can remember! School did not push him into the military - his passion for moving up the levels in Cadets helped him get over his problems and caused him to strive for what he wants from his future. The military is just another avenue for reaching the top. I believe that that boy will make a fine officer one day, and only I will know the odds he has overcome to get there!
I believe each child is gifted with desires of their hearts and abilities and interests. If we just listen to them we might end up where they want to be versus where we think they need to be.
When I was in highschool I took all the mandatory classes: Social studies, science, english, math, and more. The classes I chose to take were: every creative class and family study class that was available. My favourite work experience: working in a preschool.
A prime example of following a child's heart versus following a so called mandatory curriculum to graduate is my own history:
All through school I was drawn to children. I left school and got a job as a nanny for a short while, worked in a hotel babysitting for children, travelled the world and worked in a hospital in a special baby unit, as a housekeeper - always drawn to where the children were.
When I settled and had my first child, I began taking the Early Childhood Education courses to get my teaching diploma. I didn't need anything fancy to take this course. There was no highschool graduation requirement!
I simply needed to take a Composite Test and pass it, plus pass the interview. These requirement still stand today! I was a C to C+ student in school, except for the Arts, where I scored A's and B's. When I took the Early Childhood Education course, I did not receive a mark below a B. I was doing something that I had a passion for and it shown in my drive and determination.
Since taking that course, my husband and I built a preschool centre/daycare and opened for business. My centre was open for a number of years, before I felt that raising my own children and teaching them was more important that teaching someone else's children.
And as far as my Arts and Creativity go - I have never stopped being creative! It is an ongoing angle of homeschooling and raising children and building houses! The irony of me writing a blog is that I never enjoyed English and did a poor job in class, just passing. What caused me to be able to spell and write and use grammar relatively well? Well, when I was 17 years old I wrote a book. This book happened because I was a Little House on the Prairie fan from when I was eight years old. Laura was my 'best friend' and I wanted to be just like her (when I was little). When I was older I wanted to write a book (and I had never written before!) about that time zone. I borrowed my mother's old typewriter and began plunking away. During school, I had taken a 4 month typing course in school, where of course, I had received a C type grade. Why? Because I had no interest in sitting at a typewriter typing mindless letters and words!
But typing this book was different. It was a topic that I was excited about. It caused me to want to learn to type. The book ended up being over 150 pages long and I still have it. After that, I never wrote again. But then when I got a computer, about 18 years later, I began typing and I learned to do it quickly. I realized as I wrote letters to my friend in Tennessee that I wrote in a narrative form - it was my own style. We wrote hundreds and hundreds and hundreds! of pages back and forth to each other. And from there, I began to blog about three years ago. Simply a continuation of my letter writing.
So you see, the English student, I was not - the narrative writer, I am. I have a passion for what I write about and it makes writing a fulfilling and enjoyable passtime.
And my passion for mothering children? Well, it followed me from my preschool years right to now where I have two times the children I ever dreamed I would have!
I believe I am a case in point of following a student's interests and not worrying about filling the requirements that a government needs to so-called 'graduate'. There are *many* forms of graduation and the government diploma is only one of them!
So back to the Sitting On The Edge of the Nest blog title.
In September of last year, I signed our newest grade 10 student up for classes through two distance education programs. We began the year with the typical: English 10, Math 10, Science 10. He was also given some 'easy' credits through Info Tech (computer) 10, PE 10. At one point, I threatened him with public school if he didn't start buckling down and do this work.
It wasn't that he wasn't doing the work; he was simply was hating it and bothering those around him. It had absolutely no relevance to his life. He said he had no plans to do anything with the Shakespeare and poetry and analyzing short stories that he was doing; and he had no interest in chemistry, physics and earth science. So what was the point?
I had put off Social Studies 10 with plans to incorporate it into the next semester. As January drew to a close and I had to make some decisions regarding the next semester with Dane, I realized that I was really not at peace with his sitting down for the next 2.5 years doing what the government wanted versus *really learning*.
So we had a talk.
I wasn't completely 'there' yet; I was still on the journey.
First step: we would challenge the Grade 10 Home Economics course, and see if he could do some of the work and get credits for what he had done at home. He would write his own Aviation course and get four credits for that; and he would continue in Work Experience in Construction, since he had plenty of chances to do that, plus he would continue his English 10 course through to June. (So you see, I was still worrying about the mandatory 80 credits for graduation). This way I could give him a 'real' transcript even if he didn't go for the provincial special diploma.
So, he wrote a program for Aviation: he would paint a mural on his bedroom wall of a World War II fighter plane, read through a textbook on flight and apply each lesson to his Flight Simulator computer program (read the lesson and carry out the lesson in reality), plus he would get credit for a World War II story that he wrote about a soldier from our country that lay down his life for some children in the war.
Early February, he began his courses.
About five weeks into the program, I was visiting a friend - the friends in the Wilderness Blessing post. We began talking about teens, attitudes, pestering little siblings, restlessness, and lack of interest in mundane courses. And WHAT TO DO!?
The first thing I heard was to 'Build his confidence'. This is different to self-esteem, which can be 'all about me.' This is showing a boy that is ready to conquer the world that *he can*. He does not have to jump through certain hoops to keep the system happy, anymore. Let him know that he can do things. Practical skills. Follow his passion. Give him things to do that show him that he is not just a student - but a man ready to take on the world.
As I sat there listening, I began to get ideas. My sister was there with me that day, and she told me that that was the way I had raised the children always, why was now any different?
FEAR was my only answer!
So no more fear!
Dane does not want to go to university or college. He wants to be a pilot. For this occupation he does not need even a highschool transcript. A transcript is the paper with the marks on it. The diploma is a certificate that shows what school he came from. A child coming from England is going to have a different set of marks than we would have in Canada! That child will not be stopped from going to university - they would have to take the entrance exam and prove they are capable! I know this, as my brother graduated in England!
To be a pilot he needs to take his pilot's license and then to move up higher, he simply needs experience on the smaller planes.
But most importantly, a student never just enters higher education - they have to take entrance exams. How many homeschool students don't have the 'government written' graduation diploma, but have gotten into university, simply by taking the entrance exam and receiving flying colours? Many, many, many!
I always knew this was true, but once again, I was scared of taking an 'unconventional' route.
When I came home from my friend's that day, I felt liberated! The following day I felt I got confirmation. I received an email from Dane's Home Ec teacher, who he had been submitting work to for the previous five weeks, and was told that Dane had successfully challenged the course and would not need to finish the following three months work!
One less obligation. More room to work with his interests. He soon finished his Work Experience obligations and has now only got English to finish, plus his Aviation course, which he is enjoying.
So now, I had the time I needed to put the boy to work! *smile*
The next day, while he was 'officially' off on his own schedule (no more my scheduling) he came downstairs and told me there was a blocked drain and could he use the internet. He wanted to find out how to remove the blocked plug. I was pleased to see that once this boy was no longer tied to the desk all day, he had time to begin doing things that would better equip him when he left home! He found the solution and solved the problem. A successful bonus to his first 'free day'.
At the same time, I figured it was time he had more space to call his own. His big brother already had a room of his own, and though I am very against children having their own rooms, as I believe it breeds selfishness, I thought it was time for some new lessons in this newly turned 16 year old.
We began by moving out his bed to the recroom. At first he wasn't so sure. He felt a bit lonely. And so for about a week or so, he slept more in the house than outside. By the following week, he had tried it more and quickly decided he loved having his own space.
Taking His Bed Apart and Moving Out
Brotherly Help
Moving Into the Men's Barracks
The following week he began helping his brother with a treehouse.
Cassidy and I had chosen a treehouse in a book by David Stiles called Treehouses, Huts, and Forts, that I felt the Cassidy and Dane were capable of building.
Cassidy had photocopied his material list from the book, called two different stores and told them that he would be faxing in the lists and When could he have the quotes from them?
They told him a couple hours. Later that day, he received his quotes back and they were within ten dollars of each other. I figured, just pick the cheaper quote. Cassidy, putting more effort into it than me, decided that he could save a further $20, by picking and choosing from each store.
The next day, he and his dad went to the lumber stores and Ray stood back, while Cassidy did his transactions. When they got home, the boys got to work.
First, Dane had a small tree to chop down. He took the hatchet to that pretty quickly. The other children quickly got involved in helping.
They had to remove a rickety pile of wood that they had made into a funny little makeshift fort.
Then the little ones got to work digging the hole. It had to be 3.5 feet deep.
Then there was lumber to be hauled across the yard.
This story was not completed: But the end result was an amazing tree fort.
