The Evolution of a Family Vehicle

This is a repost of a post I did back in February 2008 on another of our family blogs. For those of you who have read it, please read through to see how the story finished. It is neat to see how it played out.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

The Evolution of a Family Vehicle

When Ray and I were newlyweds, we weren't unlike many other young people. We didn't have it totally together when it came to financial decisions. Ray was doing well in his business, and I was still working. So we decided to buy a car. I fell in love with the Daytona Shelby. The one we bought was the Daytona blue. I couldn't find a picture of a blue one to show you. Trust me, this baby had it all: leather, t-roof, heated massaging seats with lumbar support - you get the picture.

My Sports Car (ours was blue)

After we had the car for about 4 years, we had two children. I was managing to squeeze one little guy in his toddler car seat into the back bucket seats, but then along came our newest little guy. The back seat was not set for an infant seat. It was looking clear that we might have to buy a bigger car. I was *not* planning to be one of those people that bought a 'family' car. Why *couldn't* I have a sportscar and kids! It seemed that everyone started with a sportscar and then made the switch to a family car. I did not want to buckle under....

Unfortunately, I soon had no choice. We prayed for a vehicle that we could afford. The sad thing is when our beautiful car was only three months old we had been on a road trip to Winnipeg, when we hit a deer. Man, talk about a shock!! Ray was awful for not wearing his seat belt and just prior to the accident we had stopped to get gas. I had asked Ray to put on his belt and he had done so. I believe Ray was protected that day! I can't imagine how badly he would have been hurt or killed if he had not put on his belt.

Our beautiful car was smashed in the front - undriveable!! We had an adventure though!! *laugh* We were picked up by a wonderful trucker and we drove all the way from Swift Current to Winnipeg (900 km) with this kind man! We listened to my cassette (back in *those* days! *Grin*) of Dolly Parton and Kelly Rogers Christmas songs all the way there. It was a blast. Have you ever sat in the cab of a semi when you expected to be driving a car!!! LOL!! Good thing I love spontaneous situations!! Our poor car was left there in the ditch, until we could arrange to have it towed back home - 1400km!!!

So when it came time to sell our beautiful car it had to be sold for a very reduced price. Of course, ICBC had fixed this beautiful car back to the original state, but it couldn't be sold for a good price.

When we sold it, we prayed for a van. A friend told me about a repo dealer who had a van with a minor fender bender front. It was only 2 years old. We looked at it. It was the same price we sold our car for!!! Our friendly Chrysler mechanic told us that we got the car for basically half price!!! God is good! We were now in the mini van business!! LOL!! And actually, I actually really liked it!! Me, who was never going to sell my sportscar just because I had a family! *smile*

That van became my favourite very quickly. It was a five seater. When I began doing daycare, about 3 years after this, it became apparent that it wasn't going to be big enough to carry daycare kids around in. I checked all the second hand dealers, and seats were going for around the $3000 mark!! I told my hubby I was going to pray for a van seat. I said it would be no more than $500. Very shortly after this, I found an ad in the newspaper from an old lady who had a van, and she did not want the extra seat in the back of her van. She sold it to me, and I had it installed through a RV dealership, all inclusive - under $500!! God is good!!

This van worked wonderfully for our family for another 8 years!! During the course of this time this truck was a "work truck"!!! Do you know what a Dodge Caravan is capable of hauling?? *grin* When we moved to the country, my hubby was not with us. He was still working about 5 hours from us. We had five cords of firewood delivered one fall day. This wood was dumped 200 feet from where it was supposed to be - smack in the middle of the driveway!! I was alone with four children - 8,6, 2, and newborn. So the van got put to use. We took out the van seats in the back and filled the van with firewood. Five cords - imagine 4'x4'x8' - that is *one* cord - I had to move *five* of those!!! Well, my trusty little van was loaded to the gills and then driven to the correct place where my little helpers and I unloaded it.

Living where we did, we didn't have a lot of stores to choose from. I would use the coast trips to stock up. By the time we came home from Costco, Walmart, IKEA, the bulk produce dealers - (visualize 6 - 50lb boxes of peaches) - my van was full!! It was a tight fit, but we got all of our goods and us home.

People were always amazed what I could carry. One day I was driving home from IKEA, and I had two rolled up mattresses, a coffee table, 2 bedside tables, a child's bed, a bathroom sink, two bathroom sink cabinets, (all broken down into packing boxes), plus my regular assortment of food items, Walmart shopping etc, all stashed in the van. I had taken one row of seats out and left a couple kids at home on this trip. As I was driving along I saw this station wagon beside me. As I drove up behind it, I saw a full mattress lying out from the back door up to the front seats. In the front passenger seat was a table. I looked at the *lady* (of course, we are so versatile because we don't have these pickups like guys do and we are not leaving those things behind in the store, just because we don't have a truck - we will make room!!!) driving and I thought, "You go, Sister!!" LOL!!!

When our boys were about 11 and 13 it became apparent that we were going to have to do something. We had a special gift in our unexpected little 6th child!! We would now be so incredibly cramped in this car! Remember, this was a five seater van with an additional bench seat installed. Try to visualize the space in the back row?! *grin* Well, there was about 8" between the rows and the boys had to hop over the middle row to get into the back row! Well, that only lasts so long before they are too big to do that!

That van began having health problems, and while Ray was on the coast, the boys and I prayed and fasted about our van. Ray was being told by the mechanic down there not to drive the van home. It needed major transmission work. This was serious!

When Ray came home, he immediately told me he thought we should buy a new van. He didn't think we should sink any more money into it. This is not a guy who makes impulsive decisions. I knew it was an answer to our prayers. I did my research online and knew exactly what size I needed. It would have to be an Astro van.

We went looking the following day. I had these numbers in my head. It had to be no older than a 2000; no more than $10,000; and no more than 70,000 km.

Now anyone who knows anything about vehicles - as I apparently don't *smile* - knows that those numbers don't match up!

We arrived in the town nearest to ours, and immediately went to a dealership, and saw an Astro that had just arrived on the lot. It was a 2000, 120,000 km and $18,000! Nope! Sorry. I didn't even give the guy a chance to dicker. He called and dropped it to $15,000, but I told him it would have to be $10,000 ON THE ROAD (including taxes) - plus I wanted to have winter tires in that price. I am sure he thought I was dreadfully unreasonable. But I was convicted.

We looked and looked and then we decided to look in the paper for vans. How silly. Right there, all during our long day of looking we had had the paper with us! I had missed the ad before because it said: 1998, 10,000 (thereabouts), 69,400 km. I had bypassed it because all I saw was the year.

We decided to drive out and see this van. It was in a town about 4 hours from us. Well, we quickly saw that God had worked a miracle for us. There was a reason I was so stuck on those unreasonable numbers - because God had a vehicle for us, and He had put those numbers in my head. This van was *technically* a 1998 - BUT it had not been sold until 2000. It had not even left the lot until 2000!!! We bought it, including getting new winter tires (and it came with brand new spring tires!), tax, insurance - for $9,400!!! Every one of my criteria were met.

If you ever have a conviction - listen - it might just be God leading you somewhere!

Here is a picture of our then new van. This one felt huge because it was built for eight, plus had about 18" storage room in the back! Add to that, this van had never left its little town it lived in; it was owned and driven by one lady (a mom); they had every single oil change done and kept all the receipts. It was a beautiful vehicle!!! Add to that, it was my favourite colour - red - and I got it on Valentine's Day. A gift from my hubby! How cool is *that*!

This van has been wonderful!!! It has taken our family on a 10,000 km round trip from BC through many states to Tennesse, and then back across Canada to our home town. It has been to California last year on a road trip with my kiddos and me, and it is about to embark on a Western Canada road trip. We *love* our van.

But.... now our family is expanding. When we began this adoption we made it quite clear that it did not hinge on having a large enough vehicle. We live 10 km from our church and other than that, we rarely drive anywhere as a group. It is usually groups of us at a time. So I knew we could manage going to church in Ray's work truck and my van.

Ray's truck is decrepit. It is nearly 20 years old, looks very beaten up, has 450,000 km, but is also very loyal!! *smile* We have been tossing the idea around of buying my hubby a new work truck. He needs a new one soon.

When we started talking about this new truck for Ray, a possible van for us has also come up. We have talked about buying him a new truck (end of year sales); a second hand one; or just wait til his loyal truck dies. We could save a years worth of interest and save a lot of money towards a new truck if we just wait for a few months or maybe the end of the year.

At the same time, after talking about it alot we think we would really like a vehicle that holds us all.

This kind of began when we were watching Jon and Kate Plus 8. We saw their amazing van and the *headroom*!!! I have a 6'2" son, plus more coming!! This van has a 6' ceiling!! WOW!! But then we looked at the prices. They are about $39,000 minimum! OUCH!


They even have my favourite colour!!!! AAAAWWWWWW!!!

So then we began looking at other brands and they were about $10,000 less. The new ones were so pretty!!

I am not keen on this colour. I love the burgundy one, but I couldn't find a picture of one.

The funny thing is I hear people talking about the vans as being "Geek Mobiles". I don't get it. I think what happens is our hearts change, and they are just maybe 'not there' yet. When I was a young mum with two kids, I wanted the 'Jones' life - the simple, fun life. I didn't have a vision for the future. I was having fun 'now'.

I believe God has used these vehicles as part of His tool in expanding our hearts to more children. When I had three kids and my friends had eight and they had to drive a 12 passenger, I thought they were so lucky. I no longer looked at it as the loss of a sports car. I was far beyond that! I now wanted a fourth child (and didn't believe we would ever have one) and saw that great big van as a beautiful vessel that carried that, "So fortunate family, that was blessed with all those children!!" Oh, if only *I* could have so many children that I would need such a vehicle!

People who think that these are ugly beasts are missing the beauty of what they represent. They don't realize that if we are so fortunate to have enough children to fill one of these vehicles that we are blessed beyond measure!!

"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
The fruit of the womb is a reward,
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,
So are the children of one's youth.
Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them." Psalm 127

Whether our children are adopted or born to us, they are a blessing from the Lord!!

I will be proud to be seen in our town with one of these. People will know - here come the ______'s. *smile*

Now we wait. We are praying about it and going to see where God leads. It might be just 'wait'. God will have to provide the funds if we are to do this, that is for sure!!!

Actually, I feel a real 'wait' on Ray's truck and as far as a van for me goes, I feel that we need to hold for even longer. We don't need anything until the girls come home, and so we could go for another year for sure. But now we have begun looking it has been tempting!!

One day our three year old brought us a truck catalogue and he deliberately kept turning the pages until he came to the very attractive burgundy passenger van. Ray and I were at the time sitting talking about pickups. We had a real laugh. Neither of us had shown him this picture. It was surrounded by pictures of pickups. Well, maybe he knows something we don't know! We can only hope!!

So that is the story of how you go from a sports car to a 15 passenger and feel good about it! *grin*

UPDATE:

Ray ended up getting a major deal on a beautiful red, 4x4, crew cab shortbox pickup truck in November of 2008. It was 1 year old and was such a God thing. The story is too long to tell you, but trust me when I say - it was meant to be.

We continued to drive my van and when the girls came home we made do for sixteen months. Finally, in December of 2009, we began talking again about the option of buying a bigger van. Ray told me to go on the internet and see what I could find on Ebay. We did research for about a week and found what we really wanted. Ray settled on a beautiful 15 passenger down in Florida. It was pueblo gold in colour and had 49,000 miles on it, was two years old, and was the only model I wanted: GMC Savanna or a Chev Express (two names - pretty much same vehicle).

The only downfall was the trip and going through customs etc. At the last minute we discovered one other model in Canada that was nearly identical. It is so hard to find a 15 passenger that is not white! The irony is the one we found in Canada was an American import, had 51,000 miles on it, was 2 years old, was pueblo gold, and was a Chev Express! Plus the price was nearly exactly the same. Wow! Confirmation that we were to buy it. Or so we figured.

We headed to the Big City at Christmas and on Christmas Eve we checked out the van and decided to buy it. It was beautiful!! I was a little (lot) scared of driving this van, but it had to be done! We had them detail it and made arrangements to pick it up on Boxing Day.

That night when Ray drove in with it, we all ran out of my sister's house to check out our new wheels. The street lights shone down on it and it looked gorgeous. The funny thing was that way back I had not liked the pueblo gold! I had wanted it to be burgundy - if you read up by the van picture in the post you will see what I said. Now, when we were looking I was *wanting* the pueblo gold. How funny is that. I had totally forgotten about the original post, and my comments on the van. And now, when I was writing about our new van I find what I wrote and how God brought us right back to the very picture of a van - the very model - that I had written and drooled over nearly 2 years ago!!

So without any further ado, here is my new baby. Room for many kids and even friends!

The very funny, (not so at the time) things is that it is *not* pueblo gold. In the streetlight it looked gold. On the paperwork it said gold. When I called the dealership they walked outside and said, 'gold'. But in person it is not gold. No big deal, but I loved the gold. *grin*

I have now conquered my fear of the van and am following all the safety rules for driving a 15 passenger. They are known for not being safe, but if you do your research you will realize there are many factors involved:

1) Do not drive too fast - yes, that means I am driving about 85 km an hour on the freeway. I am okay with that. My children mean more to me than getting somewhere quickly.

2) Keep the tire pressure right.

3) Make sure everyone is securely seatbelted.

4) Take curves carefully and slowly.

5) Have *good* tires. My new van handles better on the snowy roads that my old red van did, but we also paid to have studded good tires put on. They cost about double my old van.

6) Do not overload the van. We will not be using the 15 seats. We will use the three passenger rows, and remove the final four seater row to use the back for groceries etc.

Also, very key to me, why did I insist on buying a GMC Savanna or a Chev Express ONLY?

1) Because they have made more of an effort to make them safe. It is important to have the vehicle, which has the extended wheel base, putting the back wheels closer to the back of the vehicle. This decreases the danger from fishtailing, thus increasing the safety.

This is NOT a GMC Savanna or Chev Express

2) They have padded the ceiling more for safety sake. The problem with 15 passenger vans is that they have simply taken cargo vehicles and turned them into passenger vehicles without taking safety measures to make them more secure.

3) They have added the Stablitrak device, which helps stabilize the vehicle. "It combines anti-lock brake, traction, and stability control systems and helps the driver maintain directional control of the vehicle in most driving conditions." (Chev Express handbook)

These are the things that made me feel comfortable buying this van when there are many reports on the lack of safety in these larger vehicles.

When people comment on our new 'bus', the boys are sure to let them know that it is not a bus, it is a 'limo', and it certainly looks like one. We are very thankful to finally travel as one family!

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New Years Eve

We had a quiet New Years this year. Cooper was sick and so we kept it rather low key. I can't imagine how lousy the holidays must have felt to Cooper because he was sick right through them.


Cassidy baked us a wonderful New Years cake. Obviously Briton liked it!

Games For All

A Little Bit of Hockey

And then Ray took the older three boys up to our local ski hill for a New Years Bash - tubing, bonfire, fireworks, hotdogs, hot chocolate, and of course, friends. (It is hard to believe there are two years between my boys! Cassidy has shot up a foot this year!) They had a wonderful night and next year there will be the rest of the family to go also.
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Self Confidence

The other day I was working on my computer, and Cooper brought me his schoolwork for marking. He approached me with a freckle-faced beaming grin, as he handed me his open workbooks.

"You are going to say, "You are a genius!" he burst out happily.

Obviously, as I mark his schoolwork he has heard me many a time say those very words. It does show us how incredibly important it is to watch what we say to our children. As deeply ingrained in Cooper's heart as those words are, it is just as easy to leave the stain of negative words etched on their little souls. We (I) need to be so very careful to build them up with kind words when teaching them.

Cooper's words reminded me of that. I am very happy to realize that that is the message I have given him - that he is a genius - no matter how smart he is, simply because he is my son and I love him.
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Children's Giftings

It is so neat when you discover a child's giftings. One day when the children were doing puzzles I discovered the Briton had done this 48 piece puzzle in only a ridiculously short time. Previous to this I had only seen him working on floor puzzles with Savannah, and those he had just done like any preschooler.

This opened my eyes to something interesting. I love it when I see where a child's bent is! He began pulling puzzles off the shelf and doing harder ones. One day I found him working on this world puzzle. He had already begun the one in front of him and then he decided to work on the second one.

I have watched how he does the puzzle. He does not match up the shape to the outline on the cardboard background. He looks very carefully at the colours on the pieces and looks to see where they go. Even so, he is able to do these odd shaped puzzles in record speed.

A 100 Piece Puzzle - 30 Minutes

This time he did a 100 piece puzzle and didn't bother looking at the box. I think he found it easier to do the puzzle without the distraction of the box.

Another day he sat down with a logic puzzle and blew me away when he did this puzzle without even thinking about it. It was like he was already aware of where the pieces were going to go before he picked them up.

I decided to see if he was really as good as I thought he was, so I let all the children have a turn solving the puzzle. They all got their moment to show off and had their 'well done' at the end, but at the same time I was able to see that he used 1/3 the time of two of his older siblings.

So we may have another hand/eye coordinated child. That is what Dane is - and he was only 9 seconds faster than Briton at the puzzle. Maybe he is not so extraordinarily fast. Maybe some of my other children are slow. lol. But he seemed like a genius to me! :o)

And the interesting thing is that we have pictures from way back when he was 15 months old. He would stand for 30 minutes at a time at the edge of the couch. He would push a couple little cars back and forth and just be so serious about what he was doing. Or other times he would sit for the longest time looking at the pictures in a board book. We always thought it very focused when he was little, but now we can see where his learning strengths are. So now we get to see what other things he is good at that require hand/eye coordination.
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Christmas Day - January 2010

We finally had a chance to do our immediate family Christmas on January 3rd! Here are a few pictures from that day.

All Lined Up For Christmas Dinner

Poor Cooper was sick for about a week. Anyone who knows Cooper knows that he loves to eat and this was the amount he wanted to eat for Christmas dinner! Poor guy! He was sick right from before New Years, through our New Years Party, right into the New Year!



The children sure had fun buying me presents! I was forced to eat all the candy they gave me, even though I was trying to cut back on sugar. The things we do out of love for our children! :o)

Each of the children was given one child to buy for. They had a wonderful time thinking of what to give and the excitement of the giving child was as big or bigger than the receiving child! Not one person seemed surprised to only get one sibling gift. Actually, the older ones thought it was a much better way to go, and the little ones didn't notice they didn't get a big stack. It was so much better this way!

Cooper got a homemade colouring book from Cassidy, and he loved it.

Savannah was so excited to give her gift to Austin.

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Ungratefulness Again... Or Is It Something Else?

It was interesting at Christmas this year. In our house we don't do a lot of receiving of gifts, though we have eight children. I don't like the grabbiness that gets taught when too many presents are given. I wasn't always this way.

Way back when Colt was three years old we had a party and the backyard was full of about 15 children. That was the beginning of changing my ways. I didn't like the child I was raising opening a gift and then being expected to move onto the next one, because he *had* to open it because someone was waiting to see him receive it. It didn't matter that he might have been thrilled to just sit and enjoy the one he had already opened.

I also didn't like the fact that my children began to look forward to going to their friends parties because of the goodie bags they would receive. That was when I decided to stop giving goodie bags. It had to start somewhere. Some of my friends picked up on the same idea, and our children began going to parties to celebrate their friend and not to receive a gift.

Our children have always given each other gifts for birthdays and Christmas, but when the girls came home and Briton was old enough to want to be involved it became such a zoo. Each child was opening eight gifts from siblings, plus ours, so we decided to change things. They still got our gifts, but we began giving them one gift from all the siblings. The ones that really wanted to do something on their own were welcome to, but I was no longer organizing the gift giving. It sure made things easier and less about 'getting'.

Noone complained. In fact, my 16 and 10 year old both had an opinion on the matter: why do we need to get so many gifts anyway? So now, with a crowd of children in the 10 and under range, things have changed and changed for the better. Christmas is really not all about the gift getting - it is more about family.

This year we did something different and it was a huge hit. Each child gave to one other child. They could buy or make something, or give something that they already owned. You should have seen the faces on the day of this gift giving. We did our family Christmas on January 3rd, because we were away for Christmas.

Cassidy With His Bow and Arrow Set From Dane

Cassidy took great pains to make Cooper a colouring book from pictures he downloaded from the internet. He had done this once before and it was a huge hit with Cooper.


Savannah with her story book from Cooper. She was so excited that she had her own book. She immediately got me to commit to reading as much as I wanted. smile

Look at the expression on Savannah's face! She was so excited to be able to give someone a gift at Christmas. I think that might have been the best part of her Christmas! She kept telling me, I want to give you your present. It's a secret!

Austin With His Plane From Savannah.

Raine and Austin with the book she received from him.

Briton Loved the Cars From Raine

What was interesting was Raine opened her gift and then dropped it on the floor. The other children looked at their gifts, played with them, or asked me to help them with them. I noticed Raine, because this was not the first time she had done something such as this.

On St. Nicholas Day, I had seen her open her gifts and then later, I saw them bagged up in plastic bags that were tied at the top. They were by her bed. I would see her watching her sister and brothers with their puzzles or toys, but I didn't see her using her gifts. I asked her what she thought when she saw her pile of St. Nicholas gifts. She said she didn't need them....

So my analytical mind put that away in a little folder - for the time being. Then I saw how she behaved at Christmas with the gift she had received from her brother. She did something similar at my sister's when she received her present. She had barely opened it - not even out of the wrapper - when she left it to see what someone else had received.

So I was adding all this together and wondering.

Then on Christmas Day (January 3rd), Raine received her two gifts from us. This year I had bought the girls gifts that were the same as each other, but I had bought with Raine in mind. She had been walking through a toy store and had mentioned that she liked Barbie. Now, our children do not watch commercials, so they would only see toys that they like at a friend's house. I don't really like Barbie; said I would never buy Barbie etc, for many reasons. But, when I was walking through the store I saw a Barbie that was a doctor and she came with babies and a hospital! I then saw a Barbie that came as a schoolteacher and one as a playground!

I decided then and there I would buy Barbie for Raine. Savannah lucked out and got the playground Barbie that came with little children. It was the first time that Raine had shown an interest in some specific toy and that was exciting to me.

When Savannah opened her gifts she was delighted, though she had shown no interest in Barbie before. She was just plain excited to be receiving! smile. When she opened her baby doll she was joyous. She squealed with delight and wanted me to open the package right away. She did not let her new toys out of her sight. They were a definite hit.

Raine had a happy expression and then put the toys aside. No interest whatsoever.


I was so surprised because it was just what she wanted: Barbie, plus she wanted to be a doctor (so she says), and it had babies in it. I am not saying she does not appear grateful. She has a big smile and a thank-you, but that is as far as it goes. The toy is put down and not picked up again. Curious!

See the pleasure? But this purse has hung on the side of her bed since she has received it, though we have been out to places where she could have used it...

Over the next couple days I was observing Raine to try to figure out what was ticking in her little brain. I decided to ask her about her attitude towards the gifts she was receiving. Her answer was interesting. It rang as 'ungrateful', but the jury was still out, as I was waiting to see how it all played out. She didn't seem like an ungrateful child, yet, her answer sure sounded it, and her lack of interest in her gifts.

When I asked her, this is what she said, "They are all the same stuff. Just different colour, or shape or size." (she later explained: What she is seeing is that she has Barbie, which are just bigger versions of the Polly Pocket dolls she got for her birthday. The baby doll she got is just a white sleeping version of the two black dolls she already had.)

"So what would you like?"
"Something different."

"Like what?"

She had no clue to this answer.

"Do you think toys are a waste of money?"
"Yes."

"What would you prefer to do?"

"Play outside."

"When it is your birthday would you rather not get a present?"

"No!" (She did want a present, but yet, nothing she has ever been given has seemed to give her more than momentary interest or pleasure.

So now I was further confused. Not interested in presents. All the same stuff. Rather play outside. But still wants a present. How do I find a present that interests her? Hmmm... The mind is still processing.

The day after Christmas Savannah brought me her Barbie box and asked me to open it up for her. When I said yes, she literally jumped up and down and said, "Yes!"

Raine was upstairs at this time. When she heard Savannah, she came downstairs and got out an old puzzle to work on. She was quite happy. After a while, Raine came into the livingroom where Savannah and I were playing.

Yes, I was playing. I was eleven years old again (the age I was when I got my one and only Barbie) and all those wonderful emotions came rolling over me. I decided that I would let the girls have Barbies, we will just go with the modest clothing and keep them dressed! No large breasted naked women laying around the floor in my house! grin

Raine sat on the chair in the room and said to Savannah, "Savannah, can I watch you?" As she watched, she looked at the instruction booklet.


As she said this, she was smiling, and I was noticing. Noticing that she had a box of Barbies up in her room, and I was trying to figure out why she wouldn't be racing upstairs to get them and diving into that to play with it? Why would she want to watch someone else do something that she could actually do?

Savannah and I played for a while, and then I left. Raine stayed in the chair watching Savannah. Her sister began to play act out the people's roles and was having a wonderful, imaginative time. Some time later, Savannah came out and asked me if Raine could play with her Barbie. I asked Savannah if Raine had asked for it. No, she hadn't. I told Savannah that we would wait to see when Raine came and got it herself, because of course, Raine knew her toys were her own and she didn't need to ask permission.

The following day, Savannah played again with her Barbies, and Cooper got involved this time. Raine continued to watch and also, do other things. At some point, Cooper came and asked me if Raine could play with her Barbies. I told him the same thing I had told Savannah: That Raine could play with her Barbies. She could come and get them and we would open them.

So again the play continued, but Raine did not get her Barbies.

It was the next day that Raine came downstairs with her Barbies. Previously, the box had been lying upside down on a table in her room with somethings on top of it. As if she had no interest. She came to me and asked me, "Mum, can I play with my Barbies?" I gave her a big smile and told her that, Yes, she could play with them.

We went into the livingroom and proceeded to open the box. While we were doing this we discussed toys. Over the course of the night before I had come to a conclusion that I think might be the answer to all of this.

I do not think Raine is ungrateful.

I think she does not know how to play.

I really thought this through. Think about it. She said,"They are all the same stuff. Just different colour, or shape or size."

Imagine if someone gave you a book. Yes, it is your first book and therefore, you think it is pretty. Nice! And yes, you say thankyou and you play with it *a bit*, but then you put it on the shelf.

Why?

Because you are blind. Noone knows you are blind. They wonder why you don't like it. Or why you aren't interested. It is a nice book, after all! There are even beautiful pictures in it.

Then someone gives you another book and this time, because you know what it is, your interest is even less. This time you barely open it before you put it aside. You know you can't see the book, but noone else does. You don't mean to be ungrateful, but what good is a book when you can't read it.

Okay, so my figuring are this. Upon a lot of chatting with Raine I have learned a few things. She had never played with a doll until she came to us. She had never made herself a doll out of a piece of wood or a rag. I explained to her that in Little House in the Prairie, even if they were very poor a child would have made a doll from a corn cob. Simply because they wanted to be a 'mummy'.

I have never met a child who has not had a doll or had the desire to play house. It is a foreign concept to me.

Raine then told me that she had never had any real toys until she came to our house. At the orphanage there were stuffed teddies and a few things, but really no toys.

When I was trying to talk to her about the fact that 'normally' little girls love to play with dolls (Yes, I know there are exceptions, so I was being stereotypical, but I was trying to make a point), I asked her, "Would you like it if I gave you a bunch of cars for Christmas?"

She replied, "Yes. I like playing with cars."

laugh!! I told her I expected her to say no, so then I could make my point. But you see, her comment actually proves something else. She has six brothers. She does not have role models for being a little girl and playing naturally with girly toys. Savannah and Raine will play with whatever their brothers play with.

It was dawning on me that this child was old enough to have learned to not play. She had a gap in her development. She had spent about seven years working, but not playing nor imagining. She is ironic coming into my house, as I am the Imagination Queen!! I am so big on that and so my kids barely watch any TV, they get dress-up clothes for their ideas to come to life, etc. So to have a child that is the farthest extreme slipped right by my noticing it!

Where her sister is about three years younger than her, and therefore, grasped the idea of play shortly after she arrived here, Raine has not. She can certainly look busy and keep herself occupied, but she has not ever really sat down and played for any period of time.

So when she got the wonderful Polly Pockets that I thought she would love, they kept her interest for minutes. Why? Because *what do you do* with little people, clothes, and cars? You dress them. You sit them in the car. You drive the car. And then you are done.

Where is the choosing what they should wear? Where is the walking and talking, as they get into the car? Where are the different places they might decide to drive to? Where is the shopping that they put into the car?

Where? In the imagination.

And if you have not had the opportunity to work your imagination, then you have a developmental gap, and all you see is more of the same types of toys, that you have no clue what to do with!

Raine and I talked about the doctor Barbie, and I told her why I had bought it for her. I told her I was going to show her how to use her imagination. The babies could be in a hospital because they were sick, or they could have been born, or perhaps it was an orphanage, or maybe they were lost. What did she want them to be?

She thought about it and decided it would be an orphanage. We talked and talked and tried out different ideas, and she was quickly able to see how curious but fun it was to use an imagination.

At one point, I came back in the room and she had two dolls lying on their faces. She told me the bigger one had found the little one and was looking after her. We had a little laugh together at the fact that they were lying on their faces. I then played with her and showed her how we can make the characters be as real as we want. I had the little girl cry and talk to the woman and tell her she was lost, and the woman hugged the girl and then they both sat down together on the ground, while waiting for the woman's friend to come. Raine laughed to see how different her people behaved than mine did.

Learning to Play

Later, she called me back into the room to show me what she had done with the people. She told me decisions she had had them make, and things she was doing. She had decided that Savannah's Barbies would be part of her orphanage. Certain Barbies would look after the older children and others would look after the babies. I could see that she was really playacting out the characters.

Over the next few days at every moment that they were free I would see Savannah and Raine playing together with the Barbies. Once I heard Savannah giggle as she put the woman on the slide in her playground. Now, Raine would not have dreamed of doing that. Women don't normally go down slides, so it wouldn't have crossed her mind that you could *do* that.

This is what Raine has told me today (10 days later) when I asked her on a score of 1-10 what were the Barbies:

"10. I love playing with the Barbies. I always play with them. They are my favourite toy now. I really like playing with the babies."

And this is how she had nicely set it up. See the babies in their beds, and the doctor is looking after three dogs. Before, she would have left just one dog on each girls wrist because that is how they came. Here she has decided *she* wants to do it differently.

I can see that we are going to have to spend more time imagining and playing and discussing options in play.
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Count Your Blessings, Name Them One By One

I haven't spoken about the land for a long time because nothing is really happening. I guess that is not really true. What I mean is we haven't been out to the land doing anything. There have been things happening in the business sense though.

I suppose I should have mentioned this earlier, as we could use prayer for our situation. I know that God is in our move, so I am not 'worried', but I would like to see it work itself out. So here is the story.

We knew that we would have to hook up our hydro (electricity) to one of two neighbours. We had heard from one neighbour that earlier prospective buyers had tried to talk to the neighbour on the east side about hooking up to her hydro line and she had said a strong NO. The neighbour on the west side is the one we talked to. He was very friendly and told us, No problem!

We left it at that thinking it was as simple as that.

Time went by and Ray called the hydro company about starting the paperwork to get our connection set up when the winter was over. It was then that we discovered it was a complicated mess. Things have untangled themselves a bit since then, but this is the story we were told at the time:

Our property runs up against another property on one side, and against another property one a second side. Both of these families, plus one other further down the line are one a 'private electrical' line. Apparently, about 30 years ago, these three ranchers put up the line, one family at a time. As they moved onto the land they joined the lines and it went from A to B to C. We want to be D.

But what they are not aware of is that this line was never owned by the electrical company. It has always been a private line. The *first blessing* is that it turns out it has been serviced by the electrical company, as if they own it. That is a *huge* blessing!

The first hurdle was the electrical company figured the poles were on private land and the electrical company didn't have a right to trespass to put up another pole for us. They could have permission of the landowners, but without going to court to make it legal, these homeowners could still call them trespassers. So they might have had to see if they could buy a very thin strip of land on which the poles were situated from the homeowners, so they could own that and not be trespassing.

Well, *second blessing*, it turns out that they *do* own a strip, even though they don't own the line. Very odd, but a blessing indeed.

The electrical guy has been doing all the running around without us asking him too. Very odd and the *third blessing*. He has been talking to the landowners and getting the ball rolling.

*Fourth blessing* - one of the immediate neighbours was told they would have to cut down about 30 feet of trees for us to connect our line to their pole. No problem, they say!!! Unbelieveable!

*Fifth blessing* - the huge ranch on our north side has told the electrical company that they are just fine with us hooking up to this private line. Yeah!!!

*Sixth blessing* - it turns out that the 14 poles that we thought we would need at $3,000 a pole, is wrong. They will actually string between 5 and 10 poles!!!! That is a huge savings!!

And now for the big one. We knew that we couldn't do ANY of the above talks until the electrical company found out where exactly our property line was. With property as big as ours, it would be very hard to find the pins. And when we called the guy it was in November or December and we knew we would have to wait til about May when the thaw came. That meant, according to the electrical company, that we would have to wait to build until probably late August.

Well, early one January day, we had a very strange thing happen. The days got warmer and we hit highs of 8 or 10 degrees! It was unbelievable! The snow began to melt. I didn't think anything of it with regard to our land. We all just enjoyed the lack of ultrafreeze that we could have been having. Ie: -30!

One night as I was lying in bed listening to a drip, drip, drip of snow melting off the trees and roof, I suddenly had a thought run through my mind:

You can find your property pins now.

I know I wasn't thinking of the land. I know that wasn't me thinking those thoughts. I shot up in bed and thought, "Thank you, Lord!"

I talked to Ray about going out to the land to search for the pegs, as soon as we could, before the snow came down again. Well, the thaw continued and continued.


Pretty soon we could see almost all of our grass! I knew the land would have the pegs showing. As I was going to my chiropractors office one day I thought, I should be praying about this hydro, rather than just trusting.

So I prayed. Before this point I had been rather stressed. Ignorance is bliss and I had been just fine, until the electrical man called and got me rather than Ray. He ended up telling me all our woes, and to be honest, for a while there, I was rather worried! After I gave it back to God I was okay again, but at first, I dwelled on it and wondered how we could work out all these problems.

Finding one of these in the snow would have been a real problem!

Well, I got to the chiropractors office, and as I sat down, the receptionist said to me, "The electrical company and the surveyors were out at the land yesterday! They found all the pegs."

Oh joy!!! Those guys had been so on the ball that as soon as there was a thaw they headed out to the land to find our pegs. Unbelievable. It is not everyday that a private agency will take that kind of initiative! I was thrilled. I felt it was an immediate answer to the prayer I had just prayed.

So now, this is where we are at:

Two of the three landowners have agreed to us hooking up to the line. The third party has been contacted and they have left a message, but they have not yet made contact.

The file is now being passed onto the negotiators office. They will be sending a land representative out to the landowners to negotiate a deal. Apparently, there is a value attached to us joining the line. This means that the land representative has to tell them that they have the right to charge for the electrical company joining us to the line. *Seventh blessing* - the electrical company pays these values!!! Not us!!!

If they say they want no compensation then we could be ready to go in three weeks. If they want compensation and want to take it to court then it could take a year. I really believe from how I have seen the miracles unfold thus far that God will work it out. I believe that He gave us this thaw. Even the electrical company said we were 'very lucky' to get out to the land. He said normally they couldn't get started til May. Well, we are four months ahead of that!! I know God wants us on our land.

But all the same, I would ask that you pray that God will soften these people's hearts and they will not ask for compensation and that they will simply sign the papers giving the electrical company the right to own the line.

God is so good!!

There is one other really neat factor. It turns out that one day when I was at my chiropractors office the receptionist said to me, "I hear you just bought 170 acres." I told her we had and where it was. She then went on to tell me that we were neighbours! I am very pleased. I know this lady and she is a really nice lady. I am happy for her and for us. I know that we will be good neighbours and we have already seen evidence of how kind she and her husband are!

They have used our land for walking for the last 18 years, and we are not about to stop them now. I am so glad that we are the ones to move on there and they are the neighbours closest to us!

One funny thing, when we first got to the land I was scared of getting stuck in the mud, so I went shooting past their property in my minivan flying through the mud. As I passed their house one of the kids told me there was a guy waving at me. Ooops! I knew I must have looked so rude, but that was not my intent! This was before we knew the neighbours. So that was brought up when I met her at the office and realized they were neighbours. Good first impression!! I talked fast to show her I really wasn't going to be a crazy driving neighbour!

And then one day her husband did us a really nice turn and got burned for it. He decided to plow our driveway. Well, you can imagine how long this driveway is. She laughed when she told this story. Apparently, he had driven his truck over a large boulder and ripped up two tires and bent his plow. Because they go on the land all the time, she told him, "You know that big rock is there!" He said, "That's what you get for trying to be a good neighbour." grin Thankfully, he wasn't upset with us. Poor guy!

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The Stuff Real Friends Are Made Of

It is moments like I am about to share with you that make your heart swell. These are the times you want to share with people when they ask you, 'Why would you want so many children?'

Today, my two boys were over at a friend's house for a few hours. During the visit, one of my boys called me and asked me if I could do something when I came to pick them up. Could I bring $10. You see, they know an eleven year old boy that has no parents. This boy tragically lost both his parents within a year of each other not that long ago. One to a car accident and the other followed with a stroke. This is not something you hear of much anymore. At least not in the paths that I have crossed in my lifetime.

Thankfully, this young boy has a much older brother, who he lives with. But it is not easy to raise a child as a single parent.

Cassidy and Austin heard from their friend that Jesse did not have an Air Soft gun. All the boys in their crowd: Cassidy, Austin, and their friends, Jake, John, and Brady all own guns, but Jesse does not have one, nor does he have the means to earn money to buy one.

They took it upon themselves to pitch in money, so that when it is his birthday in May, they can buy him a gun and a huge box of bullets. The one boy even has a jar at his house where he is collecting money and on it it says, "Do not remove money."

I was very touched to see Cassidy consider this a priority enough to call me from his visit time. We agreed that he would earn the money and then he would pitch in his $5 towards the purchase.

Later that evening, while I was making a snack, Austin came into the kitchen and said to me, "Mum, do you think I could go to work for Dad and earn $10?"

When I asked him why, thinking he wanted to buy a game for his DS or something, he replied, "Because Jesse doesn't have any mum and dad and we want to buy him an Air Soft gun for his birthday cause he can't earn the money himself." He figured if they each put in enough money they could buy Jesse the *best* gun, and not just a simple one. Plus, they could also buy him the largest box of bullets.

Those are the kind of people that make real friends! When they buy what they can just afford for themselves, but the best for their friends.

It is moments like these (and trust me, there *are* lots of them) when we are extra blessed, above and beyond the norm, for being parents!

And what is really neat about this is I feel that God just revealed something to me. Just a couple days ago, I fell across a really wonderful idea that I had decided to put into practice next Christmas. A friend had invited people over for a pre-Christmas party. People that would normally go without. She and her family went shopping and bought gifts for the people as well.

I so loved the idea that I ran it by Ray. Over the course of the next year we would watch for people - preferably one child for each of our children to invite - and maybe a single mum - that would have a hard time at Christmas. We would have the pleasure of shopping for each of these people. Then we would have them over and our house would be full of at least 20 people, so each one would not feel singled out, nor would they know why they were chosen. They would be informed that they were allowed to invite one friend, and so they chose 'you'. It would not be a 'charity' party. It would be a blessing to us.

I am so excited about this idea! To me this is a much more fun and Christmasy idea of a party than just a party with friends! I can just see the house all decked out in decorations and treats and punch laid out on the table, music playing, gifts under the tree! And then the guests of honour arrive. *smile*

Hopefully we are in our house and we will be able to do this. If not next year, then the following year. So I believe that God has already begun preparing the guests for us! How wonderful!
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Old Friends and Reunions

When I was a child I had a wonderful family in my life. I considered the mother and father my auntie and uncle, and the children were as good as cousins. Actually, my mum went to boarding school in England with my Auntie Morag and they were the best of friends, since they were eleven years old.

When we were all babies our parents made the decision to move to Canada. One year, my mother's brother and his wife, and my dad, my mum, and my brother, who was one year older than I, immigrated to Canada. The following year, my Mum's best friend, Morag, her husband, and her three tiny boys followed us.

It was a new beginning for us all. Sadly, we had left our other relatives behind, but thankfully we had these two families.

Over the years we would always spend Boxing Day with these families. Auntie Morag was a huge influence in my life. I loved her dearly. She was the kind of person that always came to any event that was important to me. Auntie Morag and I had a special relationship, and going from what she said to me once, I know it was because she didn't have daughters, and from that we created something very dear to both of us.

At Christmastime, she would listen to my little girl's heart, and would give me that very special something that I really wanted. I remember getting my one and only Barbie at the ripe old age of eleven years. And then there was the year I got the pogo stick! What fun that was!

Sadly, at the young age of 55, Auntie Morag died of cancer. The saddest thing was that when she died we lost touch with her two of her boys. They were all grown-up men, and you know how women are the ones that keep the families together.

Then just before Christmas we had a wonderful phonecall. It was Alastair, her youngest son. He is just one year older than I. It was so odd to talk to someone that I have not spoken to in so many years!! He told me that he, his wife, and their two little girls would be coming our way and would we like to have a visit. Would we!! Oh my!!

When Alastair walked through the door fifteen years fell away and there was my old 'boy cousin'. Yes, he was now in his forties, but seriously, do they ever look old? Or do we just remember our dear friends the way we perceived and loved them when we were children?

Ray, Justine, Alastair, and Dominica

The City Children Enjoying the Country 'Cousins'

And just like Auntie Morag, Alastair and his family came bearing gifts! They had an Olympic shirt for each and every one of us, even Colt, who is living away from home. They also brought the four younger ones the Olympic mascots teddy bears!


It was a wonderful reunion!!! They have the most precious little girls and we had a lovely evening of catching up on all the years that have gone by. They have lived in Poland, France, England, and are now living in Canada. How wonderful to know that our next generation of children can grow up knowing each other. What a legacy to see the third generation still connected after 60 years of original friendship!

Austin and Ailish Having Fun

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Scrapbooking

One of the reasons I have not been blogging is because as soon as the holidays were over Austin and I spent every day scrapbooking. I had decided that I would help my boys create their own scrapbooks. I didn't really want to do the whole albums by myself because I could see the value in doing it more on their level, while spending time with them. I had a ton of input, obviously, because I wanted the albums to be the quality as if I had done them for them. Austin made many creative decisions and gave me his thought on what we should do. It was a great team effort. We are not done yet. He will be using the computer on his own creating headings and then writing up words to add to the pages. I will also be adding some of my own thoughts, so that it is a combined effort. He managed to get 65 pages done over the holidays. He is now up to the beginning of 2006!

I will continue in this manner with the rest of the children when they hit the age of 10. Cassidy has already begun his and he will need less guidance that Austin did. Colt and Dane will not be doing their albums, so that means I am delegated. But at least it is only two albums versus eight! And I am enjoying this one on one time.
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