So What's For Dinner, Dane?

I am going to sound really selfish and thoughtless when I say the next sentence. Remember my list of 13 things that had come through our family in the last 2.5 months? Well, it didn’t occur to me there might be more.

Then yesterday, my husband received a sad phone call – the dearly loved Gramma of his family had passed away. She was a dear, sweet lady that was loved by many. At 93, she had become ill and not been able to recuperate. Earlier in the day, I had received a call from Ray’s mum preparing us for the worst. I was hoping that she would rally and get through, but it was not to be the case. Hours later, we received the news that she was gone. 

It was rather stressful for all involved. But for our family (me in particular) it was just one thing to fit into an already panicky week. I knew I had the impending trip (read drive a car many hours after surviving a car accident 9 days ago) to the Big City coming up on Sunday, which of course, is coupled with the fact that my sweet seven year old son has to spend 3 hours at Children’s Hospital getting an EEG and seeing a neuro-ophthalmologist.

So I was trying to keep my calm about me, and honestly, I seemed to have come back to earth. The last trip out in the car was much easier, so I was feeling that I would be okay. But still, when I realized that I had to compute the fact that my hubby was going to be leaving *today* and not arriving home until Wednesday next week, *after* the time when I had to leave five children home, while I drove two others to the Big City, I didn’t do too well!

I was a little stressed to say the least. But there wasn’t any two ways about it. My husband had to go, and I had to work it through. 

 Austin Helping Dad to the Truck

So I called my dear, dear friend Rusty, who is a like a mother and a best friend, and I used her as a sounding board about the situation. I then was so bold as to ask her if she could look in on the kids during the day, come over and make a simple supper for them, and then spend the night with them the first night. She was so sweet and said, of course she would.

So my big boys will run the house, do their chores, and schoolwork, and the little ones will do their schooling and chores, and Gramma Rusty will check in at lunch/quiettime to be sure they are doing well, and then return at 4:00 pm to feed them and see the young ones to bed.

I will leave on Sunday at about 6:00 am and return about 2:00 pm on Tuesday. So she will be checking in on them on Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday.

Honestly, to all you who have teens who are in that perfect place, you are very blessed. And out of respect for my teens and their not so perfect place, I have not posted much in the past. But really, it has helped me when I have fallen across the rare one that has been real. So I am going to be a little more real in some posts in the future (when it comes to teens). And the other reason is because this *is* my kids journal, and I am sure that one day they will be glad to be able to refer back to their lives in a realistic way.

So, that said, here goes:

When I realized that I was to be left for the week with my children my biggest ‘issue’ was being stuck with teenage testosterone – that horrible stuff that can make them terrible to live with. Teenage boys, at least mine, have two sides. Wonderful, loveable, and funny, or terrible, tempered, and uncooperative.

Thankfully, at this stage in the game, I only have one that really fits that description. Normally, he spends his day at work with his dad and then his evenings are at home doing schoolwork and his own things. So most of his testosterone is burned off before he comes home.

But if he is not working….. then he is home. All. Day…. 

So I asked him if he wanted to go with this dad. I even offered for him to step into his house fund, which in our home is *untouchable*. But that is how desperate I was feeling.

He said no. (I know he was envisioning himself being allowed to do playstation all week. Likely.... )

I called my parents and asked if they had any work that needed doing? Wood hauling from the forest for winter fuel for the house? They would think about it. I left it if I needed to he would be dropped off on Saturday night until I returned from the Big City.

I then approached my son and told him the verdict.

He would basically have to be the kindest, sweetest, most helpful boy on the face of the earth – “in other words, “You will be a joy to be around” or you will be dropped off at your grandparents.

I then told him it didn’t have to be a bad week. You can stay home from work; be in a warm house, rather than a cold job site; you can wear your pajamas all day; you can watch tv and play playstation; you can do your schoolwork; and you can make me tea (he couldn’t suppress a grin at the little dig I got in there about serving me this week! Lol)

He looked at me with not a word on his lips. Very likely processing. I then walked out, sat on the stairs, and mourned my life. (lol)

Please, remember the last 13 things on my list – not all bad, but most very, very stressful. I felt I had just been poked with the straw that broke the camel’s back.

I then had an epiphany. I got up, walked back in the living room and said, “You are going to be taking the place of your dad. You can start by getting up in the morning and making sure the fire is going, so the house is warm when everyone gets up.” (this would mean that he couldn’t sleep in, he had to be a real man.)

Sound brutal? Well, honestly, it seemed to work. I had given him something to do other than be a self-centred teenager. Then I kind of threw him into the deep end, and he responded well, almost as if he took the challenge.

“Hey Dane! Can you throw a log on. The fire’s looking low.” His dad was packing, and I was trying to get him out the door. Dane came and cheerfully built up the fire, and then went back to his schoolwork.

I don’t even know what happened, but sometime later, something was said about dinner. Oh, I remember! I was explaining to Dane that I could look at his dad’s time away as a holiday, cause I didn’t have to cook.  

What? He said. 

No, with your dad gone I can feed the kids popcorn or soup or pancakes for dinner! (When Ray works of course he has to have substantial meals, but if he is away for a night (rare) I can take it easy and make a quick dinner. Holiday!!!!)

But with Dane here I knew he would not be impressed if he didn't get 'real food', so then I had the bright idea of ‘letting Dane cook’. Lol 

So guess what, Dane? I think you can be in charge of dinner this week! What do you think of that?

Look of surprise, but no attitude. Wheels turning.Turning. Probably computing the fact that he will be in a cozy house all week, and that is better than working on a cold jobsite, or hauling wood from a forest. Yep, making dinner doesn't sound so bad.

This is good. I don’t know why he is okay with having been dumped this huge job, but I am grateful that though I was *not* going to have a Small Child Holiday (read: easy children) this week, I have suddenly turned it into one by giving my big boy the cooking!

The kids quickly got in on the act. They asked what was going to be for dinner? I joked and laughed and told them I didn’t care. Ask Dane. 

He was a good sport. Can we have pancakes? Pizza, they asked. 

 Briton Teasing Big Brother With Requests

Later, as Dane wandered down the hall, as I lazily made a phone call to a friend, I asked him what was for dinner? He replied, “Whatever is in the fridge.” (leftovers) lol

So now, I am thinking, why not make it a holiday? Ray is gone for the week. We have not taken a day off for ten weeks (minus weekends). The schools are on Fall Break this week (not that I care what they do). I can blog, blog, blog. The children can maintain their chores, play, play, play. And Dane can relax from working on the house, do his schoolwork, and cook dinner.

Life is suddenly good again. I can see the sun coming up. I feel my body unwinding already. *smile*

PS. Dinnertime was great. Dane served up leftover homemade soup, and leftover sloppy joes. Full tummies, happy children, and content Dane when he left to do his Playstation at the end of his work. And I sit here blogging. Love it!

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