Homeschooling - for Natasha

Natasha,

I am going to quote what you said and respond to you. *smile*

"I often think I would be a homeschooler if I had other women/parents to do it with. If there was a home school co op or something. I just really believe in the whole village raising a child and think I would burn out doing it on my own. Plus my kids are, so far, really happy in school. Your post sure makes me think though."

When I began homeschooling it was with absolutely no support. I knew of homeschoolers, but knew noone personally. I had always fully intended on my children being in public school. I had no reason to not send them to school, and I was looking forward to being the perfect public school mother: I would bring cupcakes for birthdays, help on parent helper days, do fieldtrips, and anything else that came along. I was going to be Beaver Cleaver's mother!

Something changed in me one day. My son was about 4 years old, and I so adored him. I couldn't imagine someone else getting to spend all those wonderful hours with him, while I would only have the pleasure of his company, while getting ready for school, and then later, bed.

It didn't take much to sway me to homeschool. I had friends whose children went to public school, but the fact that they didn't homeschool didn't deter me. We still had all our previous interests in common, and our children liked each other. We continued to visit after school and on weekends.

I linked up to the local homeschool group, and trust me, in your town there will be a support group. Here is a list of support groups in Saskatchewan.

Even though I was hooked up with the support group, I didn't connect with a bunch of people, because I didn't feel the need. I had my own regular friends, and I was not looking for a new crowd. But one day, I met this lady with a large family. I was drawn to her because of her amazingly beautiful family. They had eight children that ranged from two to sixteen years, with two adopted from Haiti. We chatted a few times and kept up occasional visits, when she could find time in her very busy life.

This encouraged me in my homeschool walk. But that year, with little other support, I began the 'typical' homeschool walk. I went to a curriculum fair and bought Abeka textbooks and thus, began my first year of homeschool. I set up my classroom with desks, and posters on the wall, and cute little stamps that said 'Well done'.

The funniest thing is that that was the era for 'school at home' versus 'home learning', which is where most of us have evolved to. So, the next thing I did was join a friend in buying 'school clothes' for our nice little uniforms. They had little blue slacks, blue cardigans, and white shirts - so when we went on field trips, we would look official. Can you imagine!

Thank goodness, things have changed! And thankfully, that only lasted for a year.

A year after I began, I had burned out my 6 year old son with textbooks and expectations, and neither of us was too thrilled about continuing. He was wanting to go to school, simply because his friends did. I was just hanging in there until he turned eight. I figured if he was home til he was eight, then he would have a strong self-esteem and be able to put up with all the bullying and schoolyard behaviours.

Then life took a surprising change of course.

I heard about a homeschool book called Homeschool Burnout by Raymond and Dorothy Moore. It has since been renamed a better name: The Successful Homeschool Handbook. I loved the book and felt recharged. I then read some of the other books they had: Better Late Than Early and Home Grown Kids - a practical guide to teaching your children at home.

These books changed my life. After reading them, I decided I would no longer take the 'drill it' textbook approach; we would begin to love learning. I did a search on the internet and found the Five In A Row curriculum. That was the beginning of a new way of life for us. From that moment on, I never again said I would put my children in school at age eight. My new statement was: We will homeschool as long as God calls us to it.

We were now "Lighting a Fire" rather than "Filling a Bucket". A whole new approach.

So, how does this answer your post, Natasha? You said you would homeschool if you had other women/friends to do it with. You are such a friendly, sweet person, that you would have no trouble making friends in the local coop!! I know that you will have at least one support group in your area. Even in our tiny area we have a small one. All it takes is one friend on the same page to support and encourage you!

I want to show you though, that even if that is not possible, there are other ways of getting support, if your heart is in it. While I met that one family and thought they were wonderful, I didn't connect with others. I was too busy in my little world.

But then, after I read the Moore's book and did a search on the internet for homeschooling sites, I came across the Five In A Row site, as I mentioned before. Well, God works in mysterious ways because it ended up that I would meet two of my best friends on that site!

It had just one message board at the time (and now there are many) and there were not many people hanging out on it. I spent the next few weeks reading every single post I could in the archives to get a real feel for how that curriculum worked. Before I ordered the curriculum I wanted to really know what I was getting myself in for, and the more I read, the more excited I got. This approach was so different from anything I had been exposed to up to this point. And by reading the posts I got to 'know' the different people on the boards and it became a really personal place for us all.

One day, I made mention of having found a pair of tiny blue boots in the toilet. They were placed there by my sweet little 10 month old baby boy. One girl responded and we began corresponding and we found we had so much in common. That was my good friend, Denise. Though she lives thousands of miles away, it hasn't mattered. We have both taken holidays to have our visits. For the last eleven years we have had an amazing friendship. She is my closest confidant, and a friend I cannot imagine life without. We have spent hundreds of hours on the phone and supported each other through years of homeschooling decisions, ups and downs, trials and joys.

At the same time, I met another girl on the boards. She was different though. She had seven children and had things going on in her life that I wanted; things I hadn't achieved and some I didn't think I would ever achieve; as in seven children! The jokes on me! *grin*. She was homeschooling in ways that I hadn't even known were possible. She opened my mind to Charlotte Mason's theories of home-learning.

The ironic thing was this it turned out that this lady lived in my own town! One day we finally set up a meeting, and we were both quite nervous! It was something when we discovered that we both had little boys about to turn seven years old on the very same day! Then we found out they had both been born at the same hospital! And to think we had met through a Missouri, Kansas website. What 'chance' of that? Renee quickly became another one of my closest friends. Though we haven't been able to see each other for years because both of us moved (her - across the country), our hearts are forever connected. She is my inspiration and a true sisterchick!

(Definition: Someone who knows the deepest wonders of your heart, loves you like a sister, and provides a reality check when you're being a brat.)

When we moved to our present location, I knew *noone* that homeschooled. It wasn't for another three years that I knew anyone in our town that did!! I was a solo flyer, but when you homeschool, you get so involved in teaching your children that you are busy - busier and more creative than you have ever been!! And it is not lonely! You get to know your children in ways you never realized you would before.

So, I didn't miss having a local group. But I always had my two close friends, because you see, they were at the end of the telephone and the email, plus I had the message board of people at the Five in a Row website, who were doing the same curriculum as I was, and they were like an extended family/support group.

You would be amazed where your friendships will come from in the homeschool world!

So, you see, though I got the local support from a support group and meeting other homeschoolers, my real support came from heart connections I made that were long distance

And regarding your last comment about your children being happy at school: Often times, mums get the idea to homeschool and the kids want to stay in school. That is not unusual! I have a friend who brought her daughter home when she was in grade two, and it took her a long while to convince her daughter that being at home was better than being in school.

This little girl had so many friends that she felt that being at home was taking that away from her. That is a very valid point. But the other side of the coin is that when the children are at school they are not forging strong relationships with their siblings. I am so glad to see that my children have those hours to create lasting bonds with each other.

But eventually, when the children begin to see all the things that they are able to do at home, since they are not in a classroom, they are drawn home. There is no reason that a child needs to lose their public school friends either. They simply go to different schools and can play after school hours or weekends.

I hope this has encouraged you, whether you decide to keep public schooling or homeschool. You have to do what your heart calls you to and with a mum like you, Natasha, your children will thrive anywhere.
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