Feeling Rather Weak

I don't even know how to start. This is not about Cooper. I will update on that later. And thanks for praying regarding that!

This is about what feels like a barrage of attacks on our family over the last two months. Right now, I am so overwhelmed that I feel like crying myself into a puddle in the corner of the laundry room. Sounds pathetic, I know. SO many things have hit us so hard lately and this week takes the cake.


I am only sharing this so that I can beg you to pray for us. In this last week, I have had to:

deal with a car accident, and the shock and anxiety of driving again;


driving for five hours on a road trip that I didn't want to take;


taking my child to Children's Hospital to see why he is having problems with his vision - having to face a CT scan and having an unsolved mystery at the end;


having my husband's grandmother die - the very sad loss, and then the subsequent sending of him out of town for eight days,


while at the same time having to leave five children home alone. Not really alone, as we have a dear Gramma type staying some of the time with them and popping in and out through the day, but still something I have not done before;


then on top of all this we have a situation with our builders mortgage. A mistake was made by someone in power - either the broker or the money lender. Either way they have only advanced us 1/3 of the amount of our first draw. (Which should have been 42% of our mortgage amount). We have to pay our trades. There is no way we can move toward the second draw, if we do not receive the other 2/3. I do not know who is at fault. I do not care. I have no clue what to do. It is not our problem. But tomorrow I need to hear that they have solved the problem and the money will be advanced. It should have been advanced three weeks ago.


This last problem cropped up on Friday. I thought it would be resolved by today. I didn't know they were going to stand by the mistake and say 'oh well. that's the way it is.' We need it resolved.

A week ago, after I had already dealt with 2.5 months of huge hits (as I listed in a previous email) I wondered what God was teaching me through it all. I was confident in my faith. Still I was looking to see what He was teaching me.

Today, I feel like Job. But I feel so much weaker than Job. Today, I think how much more can I take? It wasn't just business today. (ICBC and mortgage) Today, I dealt with my small son's health; my mortgage company called me at 7:00 pm; and in the late afternoon I took an attack (verbal) from my oldest son. Where!! did that come from??? I was crushed.

So, please, if you are my friends, can you pray for me? I feel like there was one big thing at a time hitting our family, but there was time to absorb the blows. Right now, this week, it is multiple times a *day* that the hits are coming.

Please, please, pray for God's will in our mortgage mess, and for *me* to have the strength to stand strong in my faith. My faith doesn't waver, but my emotional state is rather soggy right now. :o/

Thanks friends.

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