Boxes and Snow

It is funny because I have seen children who don't like snow, but our girls love the snow!! They are out there every single day for at least 3 hours! Here was a day when they figured that cardboard boxes might work well on the snow hill. Hmmm..

Snack Time

Are You Ready, Cooper?

And Over He Goes!

Savannah's Turn...

How much fun are cardboard boxes? They played for hours in these things: Rolling down the hills, sliding, pushing, and then building houses with them.
.

How Deep is the Veneer?

I remember asking the social worker how long before the honeymoon period would be over. I figured a few months. She said prepare for a couple years before we really knew the girls. I thought she was out to lunch. Not that I told her!

Now I am beginning to wonder if she was right.

It is so hard to put into words. There is a constant evolution with our girls that shows me that they are gradually adjusting and transitioning into being part of our family. In the beginning they were like little robots. So perfect, so exact in how they spoke and responded and did as they were told. But I knew that they were not yet comfortable, which was why they made no mistakes. I was looking forward to the day when they didn't do exactly as they were told. It would show me that they were coming home.

One day, we had someone visiting us. It was after lunch and the girls knew the routine: eat, potty, nap. I opened the front door and stopped to visit for a few minutes with this person. Savannah left the table after finishing her lunch and moments after, Raine also joined her. After a minute or two, Savannah said, "Naptime, Raine," and Raine responded quietly, "Not yet." She was more interested in seeing the visitor than going directly up to naptime, as she knew was expected. (Now I wish my boys were as perfectly behaved!! Of course I know that it was just a matter of time before they became 'kids'. *grin*)

This was the very first time she did not do *exactly* as was expected of her. It might not seem like a big deal, but it was. She was getting more relaxed and less robotic. It was a wonderful thing to see.

Another interesting development is the girls' emotions. Raine (Mesai) is a tough little nut. I really believe she has been through so much that she doesn't show her emotions because 'why bother? It doesn't change things. People still go away and don't come back.'

Since Raine has been with us, she has not shown her emotions much. Way back in the beginning I had to encourage her to cry and let out her sad heart. I would tell her that if her heart was sad it would get better if she let all the sadness come out in tears. When she was given 'permission' I saw her dissolve into tears. This happened a few times, but only when I verbally encouraged her to cry.

But I don't know. How much do you really know a child that you have not raised? Are the tears real? Or are they just her doing what she thinks I want? It is a slow, slow road. In the meantime, I hug her and tell her that crying is a good thing. But she still rarely cries, and honestly, I don't think it is the best thing.

And then there is Savannah. When she first came to us she would cry hard if she was corrected or if she got a bump or a disappointment. But as time has gone by, I have noticed that she doesn't do this anymore. And I don't think it is natural.

The other day, I brought home donuts as a treat for the kids, while I was out on an errand. I discovered that the four little ones had been naughty for Dane, and as a consequence they would have no donut. I know this was disappointing, as they don't get them very often. This was the second time lately that they had been babysat by an older brother and where they had chosen to not listen to him. So they needed a reminder that they had to obey their big brothers, as they would me. That is old news, though. They know this!

As the kids were finishing lunch, I told them there would be no donut. You should have seen the crocodile tears sliding down Cooper's face! And Briton's, "No me?"

But the girls just looked at me and barely acknowledged the loss. This was not the first time that they had reacted this way to disappointment, so I addressed it. I asked, "Aren't you disappointed? Cooper and Briton are crying. Didn't you want a donut?"

Raine's voice broke *slightly* and she said, "I am sad."

So why, why, why, are they not showing emotions? This stumps me, concerns me, worries me.

I have pondered ways to deal with this. Do I make their world all rosy so that they don't have any losses, disappointments, consequences in life? So that they will always feel happy? How do I show them that a loss is a small thing in the scheme of life? In the scheme of what they have lost already? But in reality there are disappointments, bad choices that get consequences and little losses. So what to do?

Tami or Courtney, if you read this and have any suggestions, please email me. I know you have lots of experience with your little ones from adoptions.

Why did Savannah show emotion - noisy, dramatic emotion - before, but now take the hard knocks so stoically? It is not typical four/five/six year old behaviour!

So yesterday and today, I handled things a little differently with her. I encouraged her to cry. I might be out in left field, but I have no clue right now what is the right thing.

Savannah did not go out to play when the other kids did, as she would not take her quiet-time today (for the third day in a row). She had to stay in the house for a little extra time, while they were outside playing. I *know* she was disappointed, but when I told her that she would stay in while they went out, she simply looked at me blankly and said, "Okay." Like a perfect little robot - with no feeling whatsoever.

Now, if one of my little boys had to wait for playtime they would not be happy and would verbalize their disappointment. But not her.

So I talked to her and asked her how she felt when she had to stay in the house: "Happy." Said with a expressionless face. How did she feel seeing her sister and brothers playing, "Happy."

"Is your heart sad? "

"No. "

I am baffled. How can her heart not be sad? It doesn't make sense. And honestly, by her expression, I could tell she was sad.

So I left her for a few minutes hoping she would start to show some emotions. A few minutes later, I went and sat beside her, as she looked outside at the kids. I could see a glimmer of a tear in her eye. I pulled her onto my lap and asked her how her heart was feeling. "A little bit sad."

"Why?"

"No play with the kids."

I gave her a hug and told her how pleased I was that she was telling me that she was sad. "I want you to tell Mummy, 'I am sad,' when your heart is not happy. Don't keep your sad inside, or we can't get it better."

I stroked her cheeks and showed her a sad face. "When you cry, your sadness comes out, and mummy hugs you and your heart gets happy again. But if you keep your sadness all locked inside then your heart can't get happy."

I held her and there were a few tears and I stroked her back and asked her if all the sadness was gone. She said, No. And continued to cry. About 2 minutes later, she smiled at me and said, "Mummy, me have water, please?" And jumped off my lap.

We went and got water and then she ran to get her coat and boots. As she came in the room with her hoodie half over her face as she was dressing herself, I poked her in the tummy and then her bottom and said, "Where's Savannah?" She made a point of reaching out and pretending she didn't know where I was. When her face reemerged and I had helped her dress, she stopped to give me a great big kiss and a smile.

This is what I mean about the veneer. How much has this little girl endured to be at a point of not showing her emotions? How do I bring her and her sister to a level where they healthily show their emotions, without at the same time turning them into children who think they need to cry to make their feelings known? There is a healthy balance, but knowing what it is is the key!

In the meanwhile, Savannah knows I love her. She is a dear little child with a heart of gold and a sweet, sweet spirit. She is giggly and goofy, and like I told Dane yesterday, "Dane, she is your sister, genetically, through and through."

As a side note: the girls are happy. They play well, they don't fight with their brothers, they are sweet, and try to do what we want them to do. I don't see any lack of emotion when it comes to happy playing - just when it comes to disappointments.
.
.

And the Winner Is...

Cassidy!

So, how did it go? Well, we actually found out in secret on Thursday but couldn't breathe a word until after the school assembly on Tuesday. When we went to the school in the morning, they had a visiting theatre at first performing and then this was followed by the awards ceremony.

I was pleased with how well it was done. First of all, there were 86 displays in the Science Fair. The fair was divided into grades 4, 5, 6, and 7. In Cassidy's division there were 19 displays.

Most impressive was the way the coordinator introduced Cassidy. I have it word for word, as it was so nice:

In the grade 6 category, we had the privilege of having a homeschooler join us for the first time. He needed to join our Science Fair to be able to go on to the District competition. The judges were very impressed with his display and he receives First Place Gold.

After the competition, one of the coordinators came up to Cassidy and said, "You better get working on next year's display!"

It was so nice to have such a welcome into a public school environment! I wasn't sure if this was a one time thing, or if the door would open again next year. I sure hope he can do it again!

There were three coordinators and they all came up and told Cassidy how impressed they and the judges were. I hope this is an indication of what the District judges will think!

Oh, and the funny thing? Remember the boy, Davis? The one who told Cassidy that he would meet him at Provincials? Well, that boy won the grade 7 competition. He, Cassidy, and a girl will be the ones going to District next week.

Thanks to all who voted and helped him come up with his name. Stay tuned for next weeks results. I see that there are between 27 and 37 schools in that competition! So it will be a tough competition!
.

First Library Visit

We have not been to the library yet with the girls because we have such a large library at home. So this week was our first visit. The librarians were so excited to see the girls, as they had been waiting a long time for them to come from Ethiopia, and then we had been so long in coming in.


One librarian showed the girls the photocopy machine and boy did that interest Savannah! She wanted a copy of the picture done too!

.

Earrings

The girls got their ears pierced about three weeks ago. I have been too busy to write my blog much, so this along with all other stories had to wait.

One day we discovered the girls had holes in their ears. Actually, they were sealed over holes. I asked Raine about them and she told me she had her ears pierced in Ethiopia. They said they wanted to get them done again. We decided to wait until the language was not an issue and we could be certain they really wanted them done. So we waited until the end of January.

The day we were to go the girls were very excited. We went to the shop and the girls picked out the earrings they wanted. I then asked who would go first. We decided that Raine would go first, because with her history of how she handles the shots, I felt she would be the best example for Savannah. Savannah, on the other hand, would probably bellow and might frighten Raine away. So we proceeded.

Moral Support

Raine sat in the chair and very bravely waited while the girl put dots on her ears. There was only one girl going to do her ears, so she would have a separate shot for both ears. Both Cooper and Savannah were there for moral support.


Then the girl put the ear gun to her ear.... Ohhh! This must have been more painful than the needles in her arms. For those she gritted her teeth and hung on until it was done. This was different. She got tears in her eyes and a little cry came out.

That was too much for Savannah. Under the chair she went!

It was quickly over and I cuddled Raine and within 5 minutes she was proclaiming her earrings beautiful. I knew they were painful, but the worst was over. By now, Savannah had reemerged from under/behind the chair and was looking inquisitively at her sister's pretty green studs.

I didn't think she would go for it. She asked me to hold her on my lap for this one. Okay, so I guess we are going forward. She sat down, cuddled into me, and waited quietly. The girl came with the marker and began to make marks on her ears and she dissolved into tears.

At that point, I offered her not to go through with it. I told her she didn't need to. She could wait til she was older and ready for it.

Stoically, she shook her head and made it quite clear that she was proceeding. What a brave little girl! I held her tight and she just let out a wail as the two girls did both her ears at the same time. (They had quickly decided that there was no way they would get through if they did one ear at a time. )


As soon as it was over and the tears were wiped, she was thrilled. A little subdued, but definitely happy with her choice to not let the pain get the best of her.

Reward Sucker Time

At Church on Sunday, the first thing Raine told the greeter at the door, "Look my earrings."
.

Boys - Wild at Heart

Our boys have really taken off in the fencing department! They were introduced to it last fall and have loved it. They practice once a week for two hours and then if they have time they practice in the backyard. When you consider that guys have so much need to be active, warriors, fighters, knights - anything with a weapon: bow and arrow, hunting rifle, machine gun, spear, or sword, it is not difficult to figure out why it was such a success!!

The sad thing is how little it is noticed out there in the world. Boys need a good outlet for all that male energy. Think back to not that many years ago, when men and boys were called to protect and expected to provide for their families. In our country we do not live that way as a norm anymore. Boys don't know what to do with themselves. Think of those boys that are playing violent video games and watching graphic violent television shows and movies. Those kids need to just be *guys*. There is a book called Wild At Heart. It is about men and it talks about the male need to be *men*!

I am so glad our boys love fencing! Even Austin is now into it. He is only 9 years old, and the size of a 7 year old, but he has the mighty spirit of a warrior! When I wasn't sure about sending him to the last competition his coach said, Yes! He has the energy and excitement that we need!! So he went. He had lots of fun and got to spar off against kids that were bigger and better than him, but he learned and is excited to go next time.

The Audience

In the meanwhile, the older boys have now been to two competitions. Cassidy was in the 12 and under category, and Dane and Colt were in the Cadet category - over age 12. In both competitions Cassidy brought home a silver medal, and Colt earned himself two bronze medals! The competition was fierce and it was a nail biter!! At times they would compete against someone in the elimination round and the points would be stacking up one by one - one for him, one for the other, one for him, one for the other. Oh, it was tight! Talk about exciting!

And then there is the danger side of it. Sadly, by the lack of involvement from the general publics children, the message comes across that fencing is for 'other kids' - not tough stuff or some such message. Well, they are sadly mistaken. It is a dangerous sport! They wear vests with under padding, and face masks, but it can still be risky. At one time, during Colt's round his opponent's sword passed the vest and went under the mask and made a nasty abrasion on his throat! It hurt and the competition had to stop for a bit for Colt to gather his wind and be ready to move on again. But did that stop him? Nope!

Now the boys are all geared up for the Provincial match that will take place in May. They are excited and I think they will keep the others hopping! Colt has even found out that there is fencing on the base if he joins the airforce!
.

Science Fair Day

I'm sitting in the parking lot of the local elementary school. I just dropped Cassidy off and I'm not sure who had more butterflies in their stomach - him or me! Cassidy finished his display last night and it looks remarkable! Before today, I had no idea of the level he would be competing against. I do now and it is a real variety!

Yesterday, when Cassidy was at the chess club in town, he saw this boy that was in the town Bye Bye Birdie musical with him last year. Well, this boy also goes to the local chess club that is taught by a chess master. He told Cassidy he was going to be in the science fair, but he was in the grade 7 class. He joked with Cassidy, telling him that he would see Cassidy at Provincials.

Well, I saw his display this morning. He has done an amazing job, and I consider him fierce competition for Cassidy. Thankfully, they are in two different grade levels. Overall, there were nearly 90 displays in the competition. They say they are divided grades 4-6, and then 7 is separate. If this is true, then Cassidy has to go up against over 70 kids! It should be interesting!

Here are some pictures of Cassidy's display:

Cassidy at the Fair

Only 1/3 of the Displays

I should make note that the reason you are getting the next months worth of blog postings is because I snuck away from home! I was going to drop off Cassidy at the Science Fair and then go home and do my 'duties' as a mother and teacher. But then I had the sudden inspiration. If I wasn't THERE, I couldn't do the work!! That meant I would have free time!! I could suddenly find time with no interruptions, to blog!! YEAH!!

SO I packed up Cassidy, his Science Fair display, my computer and headed to town. First I dropped him off, then I swung by Tim Horton's and picked up an Extra Large Decaf Mocha - heavy on the hot chocolate - and whipped cream.

Thus equipped, I set out to set up my blogging station in the elementary parking lot!

No kids, no interruptions, no distractions, free to let my mind wander!

I shall have to run away again!

.

And the Results of the Poll Are...

It was fun doing the poll. It really helped Cassidy to choose. Here are the results:

4 votes: All the Power to You
9 votes: More Power to You
6 votes: Energize Me

Cassidy ended up choosing More Power to You.

Thank you to all who voted! I will be updating the Science Fair next.

Science Fair

We have never done a science fair before. Actually, I had no idea what was involved in a science fair before last week! It all started when our local school invited the homeschoolers to a science class.

That alone is a topic! When you are a homeschooler you can fall between the cracks because you are not registered with a local school. And the schools often don't want to include your children because it is not funded. So when it comes to Spelling Bee competitions and Science Fairs, and more importantly Learning Disability Testing kids lose out!

Last fall we received an invite from a school that is blocks from our house. The principle was offering for our homeschool kids to be involved in anything that he was offering: field trips, track days, science clubs, anything! When I got the email I was baffled. In 14 years of homeschooling I have *never* had a public school offer our kids *anything*! So I wrote him and asked him what was the catch.

Well, as it turned out he said that as principal he can offer what he wants to who he wants, and he had a two fold reason for doing this: 1) he wanted to offer the services to get to know the kids, and 2) if we ever enrolled our kids anywhere he was hoping it would be with them.

I have no problem with those reasons! And I can now honestly say that this principal is a gem!! I had a situation happen this week that showed me how so!

We had our invite to the science class and about 20 of us showed up. While there, the principal and the science teacher taught a class on raising beans to sprout. They showed how to do it step by step and how to write up the procedure. They stopped momentarily on science fair information and then went on. The class was very informative and I can't wait for the next opportunity to go back.

After class I approached the teacher about science fairs. He gave us handouts and told me that the kdis had two weeks to finish their science fair entries. This would be the children in public schools. I left thinking that meant that school was having a science fair. So I asked Cassidy if he wanted to be part of a science fair. He said yes.

So we got to work. He chose a topic: batteries - and got hard to work. Two days later I decided I should call the school and make sure he could be part of the school's fair. That was when we got the bad news: that school was not having a science fair! Ack!! What to do.

The principal was simply amazing!!!! He said he would see what he could do. He was pleased to see that Cassidy was excited about science and he was not willing to see him not participate. So he called another school in our district and asked her.

Meanwhile, Cassidy kept working hard. He knew the schedule he had been given showed that the students had seven weeks to meander their way through the science fair projects, and he knew that he only had 10 days! His days were filled with science. Cooking and cleaning were put off to brothers, which I did not feel bad about since they will be leaving their chores when they go away for six weeks this summer!

Cassidy got up every morning and got to work right away. His days have been on til 11:00, 12:00 pm or even 1:00 am! He is determined to get this project done and do the best he can. I know he can do it, as he is one of those kids that is determined, creative, thoughtful, and makes a fantastic effort. I am very impressed with what he has put out and know that he will do well.

When I spoke to the principal of the local school I told him I was concerned because I had read that only one student would be selected to go on to the District competition, and I knew it would be harder on Cassidy, the students involved and the teachers if an 'outsider' came in and fought for that spot.

I was really impressed because the principal of the other school had talked to the man in charge of the science competition and it had been decided that though they were accepting Cassidy as a 'outside' student it wouldn't make things hard for the other students. They would mark him down as a student from our local school, and if he won, they would also choose from the rest of the student body - meaning: his participation would not take from the local school!

This is a pioneering moment! I am hopeful that this means we can get in on Spelling Bees and such in future. In the meanwhile, Cassidy has learned SO MUCH about: hypothesis, variables, constants, purposes, scientific methods etc!

All I can say is I am sure he is sick of his camera!! He is judging three different sets of batteries: Super Source Alkaline, Energizer Max Alkaline, and Energizer Lithium. They are priced very differently: $3.79, $4.59, and $16.99 - but you would be very surprised with what he has found out. I will tell you his results when his display has been finished.

For the last four days Cassidy has had to take thousands of pictures!! I am sure he has a sore finger!

Keeping His Results Chart

Making His Results Chart

I'll be back with more info when we get finished the competition.
.

Poll Answers Needed

Cassidy is doing a science fair (blog to be posted tomorrow) and he needs a title. He is comparing the power output in three different types of batteries. The facts are that an Energizer battery won. SO the word POWER and ENERGIZE are both important words. Right now he is stuck as to which title he thinks is most effective.

He needs YOUR help with votes. Please, even if you never comment on my blog, this would be a good time to step up and help a boy who is trying to do a fantastic job. The story will be posted tomorrow with all the details.

All I will tell you is that he is the ONLY homeschooler entering through a Public School competition, and he wants to get to District level. So he needs the BEST title.

Your choices to vote from:

All the Power To You (based on more power coming from Lithium Energizer than Alkaline Energizer)

More Power To You (same as above)

Energize Me (based on Energizer winning)

Obviously Cassidy will give his final opinion, but right now he is so stuck with all three. Before this he had many, many ideas, but this is what he has narrowed it down to.

Thanks!!
.

Beef and Beer

I am so proud of my husband. To tell the story in reverse order:

I was going to get myself a snack, and I jokingly told my hubby that I had bought the chips out of 'my allowance money' and that he wasn't to have any. One of the things we have always done is have allowance money for both Ray and I. He is not a big spender, so he just buys himself a case of beer once every two weeks - one beer a day. Other than that he doesn't buy junk food or anything. Mind you, he does enjoy his icecream!

I used to drink pop, but then stopped it because it is pure junk - sugar and chemicals. But then the girls came home, and my 12 year old became an 'preteen', plus I have two teens. Suddenly, I needed my fix of pop again. Not just pop: Coke! A drink my kids are not allowed to drink.

So I have been enjoying my Coke and some ripple chips some evenings. Ray has his icecream.

Now, since we have instituted our monthly grocery budget we have done really well. It is not like we are being 'poor' - not at all. We are just aware now of where our money is going. I did my big shop one month ago, and spent all but about $200.

Since then I have bought a few items for about $150. I have quite liked shopping just once a month! Dane thought it was very interesting to see us come to the end of our month today and see the extra fridge have its last item removed (a pound of butter) and he said, "It is neat how we have got to the end of the month, and the food is gone, but we didn't run out before it was time."

I pointed out to him that that was because I had figured out our budget so well. A menu and figuring of all the things we really needed (and wanted). No waste, and enough for everything we needed. But yes, we shop on Saturday and it is just in time. Very cool and *amazing* to see how much we saved this month already!!

So anyhow, about two weeks ago, Ray went shopping to get some ground beef that was on sale. It was all part of my budgeted amount. He brought three - 5lb chubs of ground beef, plus some milk and fresh fruit. He arrived home carrying in three bags and said to me, "Some birds got into the ground beef. Can you just chop off that part and keep the meat?"

To which I said, "What?? No, you can't keep meat that was touched by crows!" Me, the freaky hygienic food person going to eat food touched by crows?! Not likely! I could just see the germs crawling all over the package!

Then suddenly I am thinking and saying, "HOW did birds get it anyway?"

It turns out he put it in the back of his pickup truck and the birds got into the bag and pecked at two of the chubs. Okay, so I wasn't thrilled, as I was having such a good time trying out our new budget, doing so well, and now we were $20 off course. Not a big deal you might say, but yes, we were trying hard to keep to a plan and $20 is $20 - wasted.

Of course, I tossed the meat out and had to proceed to buy some more at full price the next time I was in town.

That was the end of it, or so I thought.

Then tonight, I make a joke about the chips and tell Ray, "Those are my chips. You have your beer." And he makes some kind of comment about not having beer.

Whoa. Hang on. This rings a bell with a vague comment I heard the other day about no beer. I remember thinking, he must be out of beer and not gone to the store yet.

So now tonight, when he made this quiet non-confrontational comment I suddenly clued in and asked him, "What do you mean you have no beer?" To which he said that he hadn't had beer for almost two weeks and I hadn't noticed. Huh?

He said, "A few more days to go." (smile from him)

You should have seen the look on my face. At first quizzical. Then stunned. Then proud. My husband never drinks more than one beer, but he does enjoy a beer after work. And suddenly two and two are adding up and I realize what he is saying. I was so impressed! I told him how proud of him I was. He was grinning big when I said that.

He gave up beer for two weeks to make up for his mistake with the ground beef. He didn't even tell anyone. He wasn't tooting his own horn. He simply took $20 from his own allowance to make right. I am so impressed. Talk about a lesson in financial responsibility and sacrifice for his sons!

It was so neat to see Dane's face when I told him what his Dad had done - Pleasure in my reaction and pride for his dad.
.

God Meets Our Needs

Our little girls came to us knowing God as a person that they prayed to at the Transition House. They knew that "God is good," as that was what they would write in their little paper notebooks at the Transition House. I am very happy that they were introduced to God through our agency!

But once the girls were home, it has been so fun to show them that God is ALIVE and loves them and meets their needs and sometimes even their *wants*!

An example of God taking care of our ever expanding family is some recent requisitions. I never used to take the kids skating because I was always pregnant, nursing or had a wee one. Last year, when I had none of the above, Ray came home from the dump with a pair of women's skates - perfect condition, just my size. God is good!

I was able to take the kids skating for the first time in years!! Usually I would just watch from the side, as they had fun. It was great fun for me! But boy were my feet tired after!

As we have had the boys we have had people pass on skates to us. The only ones that have not had hand-me-downs, to which we have not really addressed serious prayer, are our older boys. Yes, I could run out and spend $80 per boy, but that is a lot and they don't skate every week. Also, I could buy a pair for birthday or Christmas presents, but they don't show a great desire to skate, so I haven't used a present on one of them that way. We make do.

Now, how the girls saw that God saw *them* and knew *their* individual needs was through skates. One day, a customer of Ray's called and said he had some girls skates; did we want them? A few days later, Ray came home from work with a box of skates. Two pairs. Mint condition. Pretty little white skates, complete with skate guards! Exactly the size that the girls needed: 12 and 1. God is good!

Here is another example of God meeting our needs. Our boys have town coats and scruffy coats. Their ski pants don't hit the garbage as soon as they get a scuff or a small tear in the knee. It isn't like we are at the ski hill all the time: who could afford it with eight kids!

Last year, my good friend, Denise, sent me a snow suit for one of the girls. It was a one piece, brand new, navy blue, size 6+ snow suit. She meant it for the girls. Well, as it turned out, I had bought the girls new winter coats and we had hand-me-down snow pants, so they were all set. But Cooper saw this snowsuit and thought it was wonderful! So he claimed it. He loves it. It is so warm and much better and more efficient than a 2 piece suit.

But I should just mention there was one small thing that made it a girl's snowsuit: the embroidered flowers on the chest and the pink trim around the hat. *grin* Of course, my sweet little Cooper didn't notice these. He just loved his warm snowsuit!


Then the day before we were going to go to the Tubing Hill for the first time, we received a box from a friend that lives a number of hours away from us. She had some snow clothes from her grandsons and wondered if I could use it.

When I opened the box this is what I found: a wonderful pair of snow pants that fitted Cooper perfectly. Pants that could go very nicely with his *boys* (grin) black and yellow snow jacket and would therefore, look very *boyish* for the public hill. (Not that he cared or even noticed!)

On top of that, there were waterproof pants that would work so well for my cadet boys who do outdoor camping during spring, winter, and fall!! God is good!

And last, not least, in the box was a beautiful winter jacket and matching ski pants - that fit ME! I have never really gone out and bought a set of ski pants because I have been so busy nursing, being pregnant or tied up in the house with tinies. I have always 'made do' in previous years, when I did play outside with the children. This was the year that I was making my entrance on the ski and tubing hills!

To boot, when I put my new ski-suit on my boys told me that it was not a boys outfit; it had to be a girls! And this coming from a house with grandsons! Who knows why, but once again, God is good! I love how God doesn't just meet our needs, but often times because He knows our hearts, He will meet a simple little desire of a mum's heart, like not putting a little boy on a ski hill in flowers! *smile*
.

I Am So Very Happy

It is quite apparent to me that Mesai (Raine) and Gadisae (Savannah) are very happy here. It is truly amazing and very obviously a gift of God that our transition has been so incredibly remarkable! For this we are very thankful!

One day, I was tucking the girls into bed, and Savannah says something to me about a monkey house. I had no idea what she was talking about and asked Raine if she knew. Nope. She had no clue either! *laugh*

I go over and tuck in Raine and sit down and then we start talking. I figure maybe she is talking about the zoo. So I say, "I will take you to a place where lots of animals live and there is a monkey house there."

"NO!!" She yelps. Okay, so that was not what she wanted. We begin talking about what a zoo is and what lives there. Then we talk about the skating rink and other things I want to do with the girls and boys.

Raine looks up at me and says, "Mummy, I am so very happy that I live here."

Ahhhh. Nothing gets better than that. I love that our little girls are happy.
.

Again Names

I have gone back and forth on posting this conversation for a while. You know, when you are read by people of all different opinions and not just friends who know you, you can be a little cautious of posting your thoughts for fear of reprisal. Well, I decided to go ahead because I have always been upfront and candid and I am not about to stop now. I have two things to blog about. They will be in separate posts. The first is names and here we go.

When we brought the girls home, if you remember, we went back and forth on their names: did we give them names, did we use their birth names, or did we use both, or what?!

When you get out in the adoption world and listen to other people speak on this topic, you will hear a lot of variation, but one thing you will notice is that most people are very strong in their beliefs in why they choose what they do.

I can no longer say that I am strong about my opinion/belief on this topic. I actually never was! LOL!! We finally settled that we would keep the girls' birth names as their first names as a gift to their mother. But then sometime after Mesai came home from Ethiopia (weeks) she was told in full her new name: Mesai Raine Ayana and she liked it. She loved it. She loved the Ayana part and when she would say her name she was always sure to put the Ayana on it because she loved that it meant "Beautiful Flower".

She told me she wanted to be called Raine and I heard her, but did nothing about it. We were going anywhere and there was no immediate hurry and perhaps she would change her mind. So we continued to call her Mesai. But then we went to Sunday School and she informed me that she wanted to tell the kids her name was Raine. So we did.

When the children asked what her sister's name was, I was in a position. Did I say Gadisae or Song Savannah? So I told them that the girls had two names: their Canadian names and their Ethiopian names. Typical of children they just accepted this and went about their business.

Time went by, and we kept pretty much to our family at home and church, so the girls didn't have a lot of chance to try out their new names. So we continued calling them Gadisae and Mesai. But every so often, Mesai would say, "I want to call Raine."

Finally, we made a decision to begin attending a new church (part time). They have a fabulous children's program(s) and teen ministry and since we have so many kids we felt it would be best for the children. Well, the first day we went Mesai made sure she was Raine, but our *children* are used to calling her Mesai, so they kept stumbling over the names.

That was the turning point for us. We had to get serious about listening to Mesai and begin using Raine with a real effort. The girls like Savannah and Raine, and so we are using both, but we are focussing on the Canadian names. Raine likes the little word picture I give her of the "Raine" falling on the "Savannah" and beautiful flowers and food grows for the Ethiopians. It is symbolic for me and 'nice' for her. But honestly, I am following her lead.

She will always be Mesai and Gadisae will always be Gadisae, but they will be known now as Raine and Savannah. And when they are older they will be familiar with both names and *they* can make the choice of which name they want to use.
.

Attachment Trophy

Since we have brought the girls home I was not certain if we were thoroughly attached. I probably am still not certain, but I am pretty sure. We have all the right signs for attachment, but still, I have heard that it can be illusive - the non-attachment signs.

It was confusing because our girls showed the signs of attachment from the very beginning: eye contact, open to our affection, doing as we asked, looking to us for help, etc. But at the same time, it seemed odd that they would be so well attached from the beginning.

There was, of course, one area that we needed to see improve, and that was indiscriminate affection. Gadisae would openly offer hugs to anyone. Mesai did not do this ever. I was pretty sure alot of this came from the orphanage where they were hugged by everyone that came to visit, but still as first time adoptive parents it was a little disconcerting.

It didn't take long for the message to get across that hugs were *only* for family. And there were a few quick saves as Gadisae threw herself at someone. There was one funny one where we were in the house and a person came to the door and I thought we were past this stage, and I said, "Oh look, it's Rusty," and Gadisae leapt past me and threw her arms out to embrace this woman.

I tell you, I must have instant reflexes, because before her arms made contact, my arm shot out and grabbed the back of her shirt and she was suspended between us for a moment, before she flung out her hand and said, "Hand! Friends! Hugs Family!"

It was so funny! Well, that was probably one of the last of her hugs for anyone. Now, they are at a point of attachment that they can give hugs at church to dear old ladies who love them and they know it is okay.

Gadisae definitely has a wariness now about strangers and Mesai has always had that. So that is good. But the other day I received the coveted Attachment Trophy via Gadisae. We were visiting a new church that day and I told the kids we would be going. At breakfast she looked up at me and said, "Mummy, me scared. Me no go downstairs (that was where she figured the Sunday School was)."

I felt I had just been handed a trophy! This was the first chance I had had to see that she needed ME and that she felt that I could keep her secure. Of course, I assured her that she and Briton could sit with me in Church and the big kids could go. What a great day that was.
.