Sitting on the Edge of the Nest - Part 2

When I visited with my 2nd cousin in California a couple years ago, I discussed our oldest son with her. I told her of his difficulties in school, and then I told her of all his amazing strengths and brilliant mind.

(Yet, it was a mind that did not fit neatly into a school classroom type workstyle, but that did not make it dumb, just different.)

You know what she said to me?

"He is the type of student that I was looking for." This lady (now in her 70s) was a world-renowned cardiopathologist (and still gives her speeches around the world) and was the Dean of Admissions at Stanford University! She told me that "A's" were not what they were after. During their interview with hopeful students, they were looking for the young people that asked the questions and then tried to solve the problems. A mere "A" did not ensure the student a placement in Stanford University! What confirmation that I needed to follow my child's interests!

Sadly though, years and years of conditioning, caused me to go home and continue on the same weary path. We got the curriculum from the public schools (Distance Education and then later, enrolled him for one year in the local highschool) and began to follow the system. He is nearly at the end of this journey and it has been hard. At times I feel overwhelmed with grief at the joy that he lost due to never being able to get through schoolwork in a normal length of time. How much time he lost to just trying to get done.

Whereas, if I had let him learn in his own style and not worried about the future so much, he might have been the next great inventor of something incredible. I surely believe that! As it is, I know this boy. I was watching a movie: Annapolis the other night, and I saw this one young man that had come from a hard life. He was determined to get through the bootcamp. Only the best made it through this program. It was for the Navy and it was tough! As I watched this young man outlast and outdo the other cadets, I said to my husband, "That is Colt!"

And that IS my son! He is the best at anything he puts his mind to. Today, for instance, he was sent outside to stack logs, as a break from school, because during school his mind was off doing things with lighters and wax and 'dangerous boy stuff'. *smile* I looked out the window and though he is not thrilled to be out there, I turned to my husband and said, "Typical Colt. His stack is perfect." He had a system and even though he was irritate to be sent to do this, he embraced it and did it perfectly. He does everything in full measure and is highly respected in the community because of it!

To show you who this boy is, let me tell you something. Colt is in the Army Cadets, and each year they pick the top 20 physically fit cadets in each province to try out for the week-long "Pre-Para" elimination round.

The real "Para" is a military program where the best cadets from across our country get to train with the top military men in a Paratrooping course. There are twenty cadets in each province and they compete at "Pre-Para" for one week, and from those twenty, only five are chosen to train in the six week military paratrooping course in the summer. Colt finished in 6th place. He was told that if one person drops from the course he will be taking their spot. So a couple weeks ago, he was gone for 24 hours. He was flown by the military from our town to the Big City to have his medical testing all done. This is so that he will be ready if he gets a last minute call. (As an aside: While there, he discovered that he was almost deaf in one ear!!! We had never known. A tiny bit more and he would not have been able to qualify. On the other hand, his other ear was above average!)

So, for those of you who have read Colt's history, this is the boy that received the Obstacle Award three years ago, because he so struggled with written work and yet, had managed to move up levels in Cadets and had begun public school.

Fast forward to now: he is the head cadet in his corp, teaching as many as three lessons in an evening. Lessons that used to take him weeks to prepare. He, like any smart kid with a learning disability, has figured out ways around his difficulties. The challenges have not disappeared, but he has worked the system, so he can do what he has to, while not being overwhelmed. On the contrary: I get comments from his officers about how exemplary and outstanding he is. And I know this is true!

He will graduate in 2 months and then is hoping to enter the military as a pilot.

So what have I learned from all this? To not push a child in a direction he is not meant to go. And to listen to his heart and his interests. But most importantly, to not fear the system, the future, or what others think he should be doing.

This child has always been goal driven - ever since I can remember! School did not push him into the military - his passion for moving up the levels in Cadets helped him get over his problems and caused him to strive for what he wants from his future. The military is just another avenue for reaching the top. I believe that that boy will make a fine officer one day, and only I will know the odds he has overcome to get there!

I believe each child is gifted with desires of their hearts and abilities and interests. If we just listen to them we might end up where they want to be versus where we think they need to be.

A prime example of following a child's heart versus following a so called mandatory curriculum to graduate is my own history:

When I was in highschool I took all the mandatory classes: Social studies, science, english, math, and more. The classes I chose to take were: every creative class and family study class that was available. My favourite work experience: working in a preschool.

All through my life I was drawn to children. I left school and got a job as a nanny for a short while, worked in a hotel babysitting for children, and worked in a hospital in a special baby unit as a housekeeper in England.

When I settled and had my first child, I began taking the Early Childhood Education courses to get my teaching diploma. I didn't need anything fancy to take this course. There was no highschool graduation requirement!

I simply needed to take a Composite Test and pass it, plus pass the interview. These requirement still stand today! I was a C to C+ student in school, except for the Arts, where I scored A's and B's. When I took the Early Childhood Education course, I did not receive a mark below a B. I was doing something that I had a passion for and it shown in my drive and determination.

Since taking that course, my husband and I built a preschool centre/daycare and opened for business. My centre was open for a number of years, before I felt that raising my own children and teaching them was more important that teaching someone else's children.

And as far as my Arts and Creativity go - I have never stopped being creative! It is an ongoing angle of homeschooling and raising children and building houses!

The irony of me writing a blog is that I never enjoyed English and did a poor job in class, just passing. What caused me to be able to spell and write and use grammar relatively well? Well, when I was 17 years old I wrote a book. This book happened because I was a Little House on the Prairie fan from when I was eight years old. Laura was my 'best friend' and I wanted to be just like her (when I was little). When I was older I wanted to write a book (and I had never written before!) about that time zone. I borrowed my mother's old typewriter and began plunking away. During school, I had taken a 4 month typing course in school, where of course, I had received a C type grade. Why? Because I had no interest in sitting at a typewriter typing mindless letters and words!

But typing this book was different. It was a topic that I was excited about. It caused me to want to learn to type. The book ended up being over 150 pages long and I still have it. After that, I never wrote again. But then when I got a computer, about 18 years later, I began typing and I learned to do it quickly. I realized as I wrote letters to my friend in Tennessee that I wrote in a narrative form - it was my own style. We wrote hundreds and hundreds and hundreds! of pages back and forth to each other. And from there, I began to blog about three years ago. Simply a continuation of my letter writing.

So you see, the English student, I was not - the narrative writer, I am. I have a passion for what I write about and it makes writing a fulfilling and enjoyable pass-time.

And my passion for mothering children? Well, it followed me from my preschool years right to now where I have two times the children I ever dreamed I would have!

Each of those mandatory courses that I had to take in highschool were not courses that I have pursued in my future! I could not understand Business Math in highschool and got a C -, and yet, I have been doing the business books for the last twenty years for my husband's construction company. In grade 9 there was nothing the teacher could do to get me to understand Algebra, and now I am quite easily understanding it as I teach it to my grade 9/10 sons! As I needed it, I learned it!

I believe I am a case in point of following a student's interests and not worrying about filling the requirements that a government needs to so-called 'graduate'. There are *many* forms of graduation and the government diploma is only one of them!

To be continued in Part 3
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