Moving Beyond Survival

Life has regained a semblance of normalcy. There are moments / times when I think I HAVE EIGHT CHILDREN!!!!! Am I nuts?

But then I know that God planned it all and it is all in control! *laugh*

At times it is frustrating because I know that people expect us to be who we were before. And we aren't. We are a different family. We are adjusting. We are learning to live together. We are, as I have told Ray, *rock tumbling*. That is how I explain the sometimes uncomfortable way that we get through the days or situations. We are creating a New Normal. This is our life now. It is good. The girls are amazing. But it is different.

We can't just pick up and go out - yes, the girls can and the boys can. But *I* don't always want to! I have 5 kids to put in carseats or booster seats. You try doing that in winter coats! Like I told one of our boys, "It will probably be 9 months home before many people really see our girls." They have been home for two months already and the snow is about to arrive (we have already had a couple dumps). Once the cold weather arrives I do not have great plans of dressing everybody to go shopping, just for the sake of doing it! It will be much easier to leave the kids at home and take one or two with me, rather than the crowd.

I am enjoying finally feeling that we are a regular family again. My one son, has a real problem with everyone wanting to talk to us. As it is, even before we had the extra kids, we would get comments from people at church. Nice comments. But still comments. They would say things about loving watching our family and such things. Well, this one boy wants to crawl under a rock! LOL!! He does not want to be watched and questioned. This last Sunday when we went to church he didn't come in until the service was started, so he could avoid the well-wishers, smilers, and questions at the door.

I told him he is becoming phobic!! LOL! His brother told him, "Just smile, shake hands and move on through. It's not that bad."

But I do know what he means. *I* do not like being on display and when we go to town, small town that it is, they tend to notice us. What do you think!? They have waited months for this day! And we have been in somewhat hibernation for the last 2 months.

Well, it is finally starting to feel like that is all behind me. *I* don't any longer feel like they are new children. I no longer worry about having them 'just beside me' when I am out and about. I know that when I park the car and open the sliding door, they will hop out and simply follow me. I don't have to hold hands for fear of them walking into traffic, or not knowing what to do.

Now, they are just part of the routine. "Belts off," I call. They clamber to the door. I open the door. Out they jump and into the video store we go. Just a normal everyday family. Until Mesai says, "I am movie looking." Right, she has not been in a video store before. WHAT? says the man, flabbergasted LOL!!

I love the fact that though Mesai doesn't get much of what I say, I can whip off a list of instructions to her and she can gather what she needs and run and do it. "Okay, upstairs. Jammies on, brush teeth, and then play in your bedroom, until book time." And off she runs. Her sister, on the other hand, is much less clear with what I say. I have to break it down in tiny pieces, and sometimes Mesai will rescue me and turn it into Amharic. But either way they are doing amazingly.

It is hard to believe that two short months ago, I was telling them how to shut a door, what a coat was, how to make a bed, why we have to flush the toilet, wash hands, put on shoes etc.

Each of those instructions took great teaching - both in visual and in verbal. Now 95% of our day is routine and they just know what to do, or if I call out an instruction they follow through with it. There are few new things right now.

Someone made a really profound statement the other day and I really appreciated her honesty. She said, "It's not always easy loving a child that did not come from your own body." We love our girls, but it is step by step. The love while in 'utero' (Ethiopia) is different to the love when the child (ren) are in your home and your lives and adjusting to being *your* children - not someone else's children. The little things that you did not train into them that you are adjusting to, or the little behaviours. And simply becoming their parents. It takes time.

Now, don't get me wrong. We have been truly blessed by these little girls. They are very special little personalities!! It does take time, though, and it does not happen overnight. It is a great thing and I would have it no other way, but it would not be real to say it just 'happens' immediately. Everyday you become more of a family.

The one I have to say that adjusted the easiest was our five year old. He and Mesai and Gadisae just hang out all the time. Now, the other two, ages 9 and nearly 4, do also. But the 4 year old had to adjust first, and I can say that that is done. He is my happy little boy again. Interestingly enough, he blows me kisses all the time and just wants a kiss here and there - something he didn't do before the girls. He was usually too busy. I would steal hugs and kisses, but now he is a little sap. And he is always kissing the girls. At dinner tonight, he slipped over two stools to get up close to Gadisae to give her a kiss in the middle of dinner. He is such a little love.

And funny to say, but I think the oldest two have had a different reaction than I would have thought. First, the girls are simply more siblings. Not girls. Just kids. *laugh* The girls are not pandered to. That is not something we would ever do, and I am glad to say that neither Ray nor myself have that attitude. So perhaps that is why the boys don't spoil them. To one son they are simply more noise! LOL!! To the other son, they just blend in with the crowd and he is too busy with his life to see much of them. Not really what I thought would happen. But it is good. The whole crowd just simply feels like it has always been together.

They play for hours and hours together and rarely fight.Where once the boys would go outside for a couple hours to play on the cooler days, now since September they have been outside for most of every day! The girls are acclimatizing very nicely! I actually have to call them in when it is too dark to see because they would keep on playing! They don't even notice the chill in the air! Children are simply amazing! Or maybe I should say - Mine are! *smile*

Snack Time

Teamwork Cleaning Up the Yard

Their First Big Puzzle

Gadisae had never done a puzzle before. The four piece puzzles were a real challenge to her. Then one day, she and Briton got out this puzzle and began to work very hard. I was amazed. Briton had never done a puzzle like this before on his own! And together they accomplished it

The Four Amigos

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