One day, an older brother brought one Little Miss downstairs and told me that she was throwing game pieces around the room and not being very kind. I had her sit on a chair and wait for me, while I went upstairs to find out from the others what had happened.
They, including her sister, told me that there was a mistaken double turn taken by her sister. Little Miss was not happy about this and thought she was being cheated. She got up and walked off in a pout. A few minutes later, she returned, reached down and picked up some game pieces from the middle of the game and threw them across the room. Such a thing had not happened before.
Before I left the room, I asked my son, "Did she say anything, while she was walking around the room?"
"Yes, she was saying, "Me very very sad."
Suddenly, the whole picture shifted. This was a triumph, not something to be dealt with!
I ran downstairs and over to the couch where Little Miss was sitting. She was quite startled, as I took her in my arms and gave her a great big hug. She was expecting to be corrected for her unkind behaviour.
"You said, Me very very sad. Good for you!! I am so happy that you said how you were feeling!"
This was huge! Walking off in a pout has been long dealt with. At least, in my presence it has. I know it still goes on outside once in a while, where there is no adult watching. So for her to actually TELL her feelings was monumental! I was so pleased. I have been telling the girls to tell their feelings rather than pout. And it finally kicked in!
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4 comments:
How did you get so wise. Great job. Not everyone would take the time to ask all the right questions before taking action.
Linda
That is great that she is beginning to say these things. I think with all children, misbehaviour is often because they need their "cup" filled up. It is not always easy to remember, but I try.
Yesterday, Selam was talking to her brother and he asked her some questions about her birth mom. I listened as Selam gave new HUGE information. Then they kept on playing, but she was a bit off. When she fell down she needed more cuddles than usual and in an indescribable way was just not quite okay. We tried to give her so much and cuddle her whenever she came for a "fill up." She is fine today, but sure needed more reassurance from us yesterday.
sorry this ended up being about me, but I just really want you to know that this is great what your daughter is doing, and we are all in this together.
Natasha
That is great that she is beginning to say these things. I think with all children, misbehaviour is often because they need their "cup" filled up. It is not always easy to remember, but I try.
Yesterday, Selam was talking to her brother and he asked her some questions about her birth mom. I listened as Selam gave new HUGE information. Then they kept on playing, but she was a bit off. When she fell down she needed more cuddles than usual and in an indescribable way was just not quite okay. We tried to give her so much and cuddle her whenever she came for a "fill up." She is fine today, but sure needed more reassurance from us yesterday.
sorry this ended up being about me, but I just really want you to know that this is great what your daughter is doing, and we are all in this together.
Natasha
Tell me how you did it... (to get them to tell their feelings)!
My little man still is prone to marching off in a pout and going to sulk in a corner - or throwing things around. I tell him to use his words - to no avail. It can be very frustrating.
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