Big Brother

Adoption is not just a journey for parents, it is a journey for all the children. While the little ones embrace a new sibling with open arms, the older boys have taken their time. They have gone through stages.

When we were in Ethiopia, it was the 'honeymoon' stage. Dane was enamoured with these long-awaited, adorable little girls. But once we were home, I noticed that over the next couple months Dane seemed a bit distant. Sure, he helped with the kids and took care of their needs, but it wasn't what I was hoping for. I remember asking him about 6 weeks ago if he was fond of the girls yet. There is a difference between 'liking', 'loving', and 'being fond'. Liking is easy. Loving is somewhat obligatory. Being fond is a softening of the heart where the two hearts begin to mesh and become one.

His response at that time was, "I don't think so." I was saddened to hear this, but fully understood. There was a lot more involved than a baby being born into the family. His whole world was turned upside down by bringing two new people into the family. I could see that. For the little ones having two new siblings simply meant better play! More playmates! The girls have been respectful of the boys, not taking their toys, demanding our time - they have really not been in the little one's faces. To them they have simply been a blessing. A teen sees so much more of what is going on.

I have been very happy to see a difference in the last month. I really see his heart melting. There is a look of adoration on his face as he looks at Gadisae doing her silly antics. A moment ago, I asked Dane if he was fond of the girls yet. He looked surprised and said, Oh, yes!

A New Towel or Is It a Cape?

New Winter Headband and Cape Girl

To confirm what I thought I was seeing, I then asked him if I gave him a scale of 1-10 and 10 was where his love of his brothers was, where would he place the girls.

According to him, "In Ethiopia it was about a 5, and then it went down to a 3, and since then it has been rising steadily. It is now an 8."

Evidence of his 'fondness'. This first one is a lousy picture - blurry - but I wanted you to see it. I looked outside and saw Dane hiking up the sledding hill with Gadisae in his arms lying on the sled. It was no easy hike!


I know that as more time passes, Dane's 8 will rise to a 10. It is obvious when I watch him with the girls.
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Queen of Lunch

Gadisae has an infuriating habit of dawdling over food. She will take 1 hour to eat a sandwich, apple, cookie. This if fine when I lay out enough time, but not when it is a late lunch near naptime, or we are going out. As I said before, she knows the word, "Hustle" quite well.

One night, she took about 30 minutes to eat about 3 tablespoons of food that was on her plate - *after* everyone else had eaten and was 30 minutes gone. I am not used to kids being like this. And she needs her food, so tossing it is not an option, and I am not into rewarding dawdling by throwing it away either. I know how much they will eat and they always ask for more. And sometimes after she has dawdled so much she will ask for more! So it is not lack of hunger. It is just that she eats like a turtle. Agghh!! And anyone that knows me knows I am like the hare! Speedy. *smile*

So the other day something happened. It worked out rather well and I did not even plan it. Gadisae happened to wander downstairs while I was making lunch. So I had her sit down and begin. The others were busy upstairs and I wasn't really ready for a tribe of kids yet, so I didn't call them. About 20 minutes later, another child arrived and so I had him call the rest. They all joined Gadisae in eating.

Before long, Gadisae was done. Hallelujah!!! So I pointed out to her that she was the FIRST ONE DONE!!! YEAH!!! She smiled and smiled and smiled. I told her that because she was done she had time to play before bed. Happy girl!! Usually they eat and then right to bed at 1:00 pm. No, not this time. 20 minutes to play.

The other kids, led by Austin, gave her a rousing round of applause.

Waving at the Ones Still Eating
(Ignore my messy kitchen, I was making Christmas baking)

I then snuck off and created her a crown. You should have seen her pleasure and pride!



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Back to Addis, Ethiopia - Day 12-14 Video

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

I Am A Big Sister

Gadisae is the absolutely worst person for eating a meal in any reasonable time frame. It drives me nuts. I am used to boys. They inhale food. Gadisae doesn't. But she is improving. She knows that I am not one to keep the kitchen open for hours on end. She is used to the word 'hustle'. *smile*



Well, Briton is a close second. It isn't that he is slow. He just doesn't need much food. He is small and doesn't seem to need to eat. Tonight, we were having cake after dinner. The kids were getting their dinners all done, so they could have their cake. Briton was not even touching his dinner. I was not intending to give him any cake if he did not eat. He knew this.


He looked at Gadisae and said, "Didi, hep me. Heady." (Didi, help me. This is hard to eat.")

Gadisae got the cutest grin and her dimples came out and she looked at me and said, "Mumma, me help Biton, please?"


Of course, I couldn't resist letting her be the big sister, even though he is WAY too old to be fed. Ridiculously too old. But what the hey!


She took his spoon and immediately began to feed him. He ate quickly and she was so proud of herself. Gadisae said, "Me help Biton. I am big sister."




A little later, "Almost done, Biton."

Within minutes he was done and they both had their icecream cake. I love seeing their relationship growing. Mind you, they have been sister and brother since day one. It was no different than bringing a new baby home from the hospital. They just 'are'.

Note: What may have helped Briton to connect so well with the girls, and to get over his tears, is we actually moved him into our room about a month ago. He has the mattress that was originally intended for the girls. He sleeps there and has a chance to snuggle in bed with me in the morning before we start the day. This is not something I have ever needed to do with any other child. And I must say, I am enjoying the tender cuddles, especially since he is my last baby.

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Snow, Snow, Snow

You would never know our girls are from Africa! Seriously!!

The Jump is Getting Better Daily

My Little Brown Snow Bunny

Our wimpy boys will come in, but the girls will continue to play. Take today, for instance. I called the girls in for lunch. Gadisae looked at me mournfully and said as if in pain, "Awwohh Muummm."

Because you see, when I call lunch they know that right after lunch it is naptime. Playtime over til 3:00 pm.

"Do you want to have a snow picnic?"

"Eat, and play?"

I told her yes and she was so happy!

This only lasted so long before their lunch filled with the falling snow and they had to come in and finish eating.

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Christmas Baking

No matter the age, kids love to decorate cookies. When the little crowd had gone through, the older boys came and finished up the job. Colt thought he was too big; he had schoolwork to do. But once I gave him the icing bag, the stack of cookies, and decorations, he became young again.





He and Dane had lots of fun piling on tons of icing and making their cookies sickly sweet.

St. Nicholas Day

A View From Our Deck

In our house we want the focus of Christmas to be on Jesus Christ. So we celebrate St. Nicholas Day on December 6th, instead of on December 24 or 25th. This way, by Christmas time, the novelty of Santa has worn off and everyone knows that we are gearing up for Jesus's birthday.

I don't the children to miss out on the magic of make-believe regarding Santa, so we let them believe. I know there are many schools of thought on this one, but this works for us. And not one of our big kids has ever been resentful that I 'lied' to them. They enjoy their childhood beliefs and then move on when they figure it out.

We start out the evening with me reading them a story about St. Nicholas. He was a real Bishop that lived in the 4th century. He was a kind man that gave to the poor. As the children listen to this story they see the kindness of this man, and the funny thing is the children don't make a connection to him being alive so many, many years ago, and yet still able to deliver presents now.

From reading this story, our children then go onto filling boxes for the children in other countries, and buying one best quality toy for a child in our town. This way they get to 'be like St. Nicholas' and help the needy.

Oh Look! An Elf!

The night before St. Nicholas Day, we were up late. The boys didn't get to bed til nearly 11:00 pm and then the fun began. In the morning, Austin went downstairs and came back up and told Dane he had found a note in Dane's stocking.

Austin didn't look too happy. When the children went downstairs a few minutes later, the boys found a note under the Christmas tree, and it told them to begin looking for their stockings. St. Nicholas had decided not to leave them where they were easy to find.

Our kids have never run downstairs early to open presents. They always wait for our call. We are up so late the night before and I want to act civilized *smile*, so I need a few hours sleep. They are very patient!

Sleepy Mesai With No Idea What Was Going On

Good-Sport Dane Reading His Note and Finding His Lump of Coal

When Dane came downstairs he found a note in his stocking. Apparently, Dane had been dissing St. Nicholas Day. Well, sort of. He had been asking why he couldn't do a biathalon on St. Nicholas Day, and do "Santa" on Christmas Day. He knew the reason why, so St. Nicholas decided to leave him a lump of coal for his grumpy attitude.

Thankfully, St. Nicholas also showed Dane a little mercy. Upon finding the note, Dane read that he could choose the coal or choose to Believe, Trust, and Obey. If he chose that route then he could head for the front door and see what he could find.

His older brother found a bag of Christmas presents outside. The children thought it was very funny to see big brother get a lump of coal. I explained to Mesai and Gadisae that Dane got a lump of coal because he didn't believe!

The children searched high and low for their presents. The older boys had a harder time finding their presents. Cassidy found his, but Colt took a lot longer to find his. He finally found it in the stove drawer.

Cassidy Found His Presents in the Dryer

The children were all so thankful for their gifts. I kept hearing, "Look what I got!" and of course, the girls learned this phrase right away!

Look What I Got!

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And Then There Was Austin

My cool, spunky, funny little man.

Off to Church. Don't you love his outfit? His brother wore this tie the night before with a dress shirt. Austin thought it looked better with a camo shirt and a 'leather' jacket. *smile*

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Christmas Party

Our Church had a Christmas Dinner. The girls have beautiful dresses that we bought for Christmas, but they wanted to wear them more than one time, so they dressed up.

The Belles of the Ball

The Five Amigos

I didn't have any hair ribbons that matched their dresses, so I sent Ray to town with a dress and he did a fabulous job of finding fabric that I was able to fold and iron into hair ribbons. I then wrapped it around their heads and tied and folded it like a head wrap. They were beautiful.
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Funny Speechisms

I love to hear how the girls are progressing. Gadisae is moving along very slowly, but Mesai is flying.

The other day I heard Mesai leading Gadisae. Mesai was doing a puzzle and Gadisae wanted to join her. These two girls have an amazing relationship. They are very loving towards each other and they simply submit to each other.

Gadisae asked: Me puzzle?

Mesai replied: English. Think. More words. (hmm I wonder where she got those words? LOL)

Gadisae: Me play puzzle?

Mesai: Can I play?

Gadisae: Can I play?

Mesai: Can I play puzzle with you, please?

Gadisae: Can I play puzzle with you, please?

Gadisae was so patient and willing to be helped through her speech learning.

Tonight, Gadisae was in front of the mirror admiring her 'bushy hair' *smile*. They had just bathed and I had brushed out their little afros after I had put in conditioning cream. She ran off to see how it looked.

As she stood smiling in front of the mirror she said, "See Mum!"

"Yes, long hair!" I replied.

(remember I taught Gadisae if she ate her vegetables with a happy heart her hair would grow and soon catch up with Mesai's)

Mesai was standing by me and she, being little Miss Quick Wit, says: "Eat vegetables, be happy. Don't vorry, be happy."

I had recently taught her that funny phrase from long ago. I told her only one time, but she remembered it. That little girls learns fast!

As well as she is learning English, so is Cooper learning broken English. Tonight I asked who had done something and his reply? "No me."

You see, that is what Briton says, and Gadisae has picked it up and now there are two little ones saying it. When it was just Briton speaking poorly, Cooper had a chance, but now that there are two or three talking in broken English, he has no hope!! LOL!
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What a Big Boy

With Briton being so little and having such limited speech, it is easy to forget how old he is. My mother even said the other day how sometimes she thinks he is two for the same reason and has to remind herself just how old he really is.

So it was surprising when I gave him a birthday card to 'sign' for his brothers the other day. I kind of expected him to do his little scribble, but instead he studied the letters I wrote and he did an amazing job of duplicating them! His big brothers were amazed at what he did and thought I helped him.

Look closely at his writing! My little guy is growing up (But he will always be my Baby Briton)
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Meeting Our Birthmum

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

I Do Not Like Decorating!

I do not like it at all!! And just think - I have EIGHT birthdays where I have to decorate: cakes, wrap presents, decorate the house, plus I have a Christmas tree, house decorations to hang and more. UGGH!!

So when my wonderful 15 year old son told me he wanted to decorate the tree - I let him!

Now this might not seem like a big deal to you, but I like a tree that looks nice. I have a houseful of kids drawings, paintings, art work etc. They know they are loved. But my mother always decorated the tree - with our help - but she had it looking nice. Yes, I know the *good* mothers let their kids decorate the trees and have bald patches and overcrowded patches. But I have not yet, in 17 years, gotten there, and I really don't think I ever will.

The kids usually decorate the tree with their dad, but he helps them even it out and keep it looking proper. I know there are going to be those of you who really need to blast me for this, but don't worry, my kids feel valued for other things. *smile*

But this year I was just not up to doing the tree. Oh, I would have done it, if no one had rescued me. But suffice it to say, when my son offered to do the tree, I was thrilled! And he did a fabulous job! Sure, he did it differently to me.


And yes, when he said he was putting the red light son the tree, I said somewhat slowly, "I don't usually use the red lights. They make me think of devil's eyes when the lights are out." But I bowed to his expertise and his opinion and we have red and green lights because, like he says, "Red and green make it look like Christmas."

And he is right! It looks great. So guess who gets the job next year? And the inside house decorating job? You got it. Not me. I have resigned. I have a great son who will train the troops.

Oh, and you should have seen the wonder on Briton's face when he came down from his nap and found the tree all set up. He stood in awe, in his t-shirt and undies, and simply pointed up at the star.

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Santa Claus Parade and Handling Busyness

Our girls have not been overwhelmed with the season. I believe this is because everything has been new since they have been here and we have handled it in a slow manner. For the first two months, we barely left the property. They got to know who family was and in no time, Gadisae was not at risk of hugging a stranger.

From then on, we moved into an occasional shopping trip, or a trip to Walmart. But as a mother of eight children I do not prefer to shop. I tend to go to town with the children I *need* to take and the rest stay home. I am not looking for work, especially with all these carseats and winter coats!

So the girls have only gone out sporadically. To them, their family is their world. They go to church, they go to the grocery store - but probably only about 4 times since they have been here, they go to Briton's speech appointment, but only so I can weigh them on the way out. Their life is very plain. It is full of brothers and play and fun and family.

This last week, I was out 6 nights out of 7. I should have been out the 7th out of 8, but I said no and cancelled. I am usually home nights. This was very unusual. Suddenly I have a life again! We are no longer in the boonies, and we have big boys to babysit.

We saw something come out in the girls that I think might have been related to the crazy nights. Ray was putting them to bed most of the nights I was out, but there were two nights where he was out too, and one night where we went to a Christmas party with all the kids.

I noticed we began getting erratic behaviour from one little Miss. This little one was always very well behaved, and for 6 days we had 'bad choices' instead of 'good choices' being made. It seemed we were being tested. Perhaps. Or perhaps it was simply some of the feelings from within coming up and cleaning themselves out.

But one night, the night before my last evening that I was *supposed* to go out, this little Miss, when asked why she was upset at bedtime said, "Out. You always going out."

I think her little world was suddenly rocked a little. I gave her hugs and told her that yes, I was out that night, but I was home with her every day and Daddy and I were always there when she woke up in the morning.

As I told my husband, our girls are extremely lucky they don't have to go to daycare like many, many adopted children. For our family we are blessed to be able to have them home with me.

So how did I get way off topic like this!! LOL!!! I was going to mention the Santa Claus parade! Well, here are the pictures.

Big Brother Cadet Was Giving Out Candy.

As Santa went by the girls looked. Simply looked. But when the man dressed up as a dog walked by - oh, the excitement from Didi! It was so cute! DOG! Woosha!
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The Laundry Queen

Mesai is only 5 + years old, but she is so great at doing laundry that I have crowned her the "Laundry Boss". She was quite chuffed when I told her this. She is very aware the Daddy and I are the Boss, and she knows that when we are gone that her big brothers are the Boss. So when I told her that she was the Laundry Boss she recognized the honour.

Our kids all fold their own laundry - and the bigger ones run the machine and wash theirs too. One day I saw how nicely Mesai had folded the laundry in her drawers. I had shown her one time what I wanted done and she had not forgotten. She doesn't forget much!

A few days later, Cassidy and Mesai were folding the laundry and I asked Mesai to teach Cassidy how to fold the pants properly. I have taught my boys these things, but honestly, my standards have dropped to the point of 'whatever' because it just wasn't important enough to stress about. But Mesai proved herself very capable, so I kept teaching her.

Here is Mesai and Cassidy Having a Lesson in Pant Folding

Notice the smug look on Mesai's face? What a little tease. Cassidy is still struggling to get his pants folded and Mesai is already done a perfect fold. Wonder why she is the Laundry Boss?!! *laugh* As she grows, her job will change. Right now she does her own laundry and teaches and inspects her sister's folding. Eventually, over the next years she will become responsible for the whole job. That will include inspecting her brothers bedroom drawers (always a mess, but hopefully the standards will improve with a new system), making sure laundry is done on the designated days, and any other laundry jobs.
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Sledding and Snow

At the first sign of snow the kids are outside. We have had a couple dumps and this was after the previous snow had melted.

The children have got their jump happening again. This time, I came outside and found them with all four of the little ones ready to take a slide off the top of the picnic table.


Dare-Devil Austin preferred to leave the table from a standing position.



A few days later, we had 6" of snow.

What They Woke Up To: God's Magic!

Not much, compared to other areas, but it was enough to begin to create a base for sledding. They now have their jumps securely in place.

They Are Now Outside Again For Hours On End

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Homeschool Boys

I love homeschooled boys! These kids know how to work. They may not like it, just like other kids, but at least they know how to do it!

Cassidy saw a need and took care of it. He is not quite 11 years old! He saw that the dishwasher was not opening correctly. So he went to the basement and got his dad's drill, removed the face of the base of the dishwasher and proceeded to fix the problem.


But being the homeschooled boy that he is, he didn't stop there. He saw all the dust, dirt and disgusting things under the dishwasher. Off he went to get the vacuum and he cleaned it out! He then put the machine back together. How cool is that!!

Another applause to my son, who only turned 12 on Friday. I have had some crazy days lately. What am I saying? It has not slowed down since the girls came home. But since the weather has broken and they are inside most of the day - it is nuts.

So I created a weekly menu. I only cook three days a week. And actually, as my astute son pointed out - I only do Spaghetti, Sloppy Joes, and one other easy meal. My meals are the ones that I make a number of and have in the freezer. So my cooking days entail getting a meal from the freezer, thawing it, and then heating and serving it. Much better plan!

So Cassidy had to cook dinner two days this week. He had no help from me. I simply typed up a recipe and then inserted it in a plastic page protector. It was laid out in a very simple format. The first day, he made Cajun Meatloaf and homemade herb rice. The second day, he made a batch of Sloppy Joes. One for that night and one for the freezer. How awesome is that! What a great little helper!

He will be compiling a cookbook of all his accomplished recipes and taking it with him when he leaves home. I have told him that perhaps if he learns to cook well that when he marries, he can be the cook. Then he won't have to put up with his wife cooking all the things he doesn't like: onions, celery, mushrooms, green pepper, etc, etc, etc - the list is endless!
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