Big Brother

Adoption is not just a journey for parents, it is a journey for all the children. While the little ones embrace a new sibling with open arms, the older boys have taken their time. They have gone through stages.

When we were in Ethiopia, it was the 'honeymoon' stage. Dane was enamoured with these long-awaited, adorable little girls. But once we were home, I noticed that over the next couple months Dane seemed a bit distant. Sure, he helped with the kids and took care of their needs, but it wasn't what I was hoping for. I remember asking him about 6 weeks ago if he was fond of the girls yet. There is a difference between 'liking', 'loving', and 'being fond'. Liking is easy. Loving is somewhat obligatory. Being fond is a softening of the heart where the two hearts begin to mesh and become one.

His response at that time was, "I don't think so." I was saddened to hear this, but fully understood. There was a lot more involved than a baby being born into the family. His whole world was turned upside down by bringing two new people into the family. I could see that. For the little ones having two new siblings simply meant better play! More playmates! The girls have been respectful of the boys, not taking their toys, demanding our time - they have really not been in the little one's faces. To them they have simply been a blessing. A teen sees so much more of what is going on.

I have been very happy to see a difference in the last month. I really see his heart melting. There is a look of adoration on his face as he looks at Gadisae doing her silly antics. A moment ago, I asked Dane if he was fond of the girls yet. He looked surprised and said, Oh, yes!

A New Towel or Is It a Cape?

New Winter Headband and Cape Girl

To confirm what I thought I was seeing, I then asked him if I gave him a scale of 1-10 and 10 was where his love of his brothers was, where would he place the girls.

According to him, "In Ethiopia it was about a 5, and then it went down to a 3, and since then it has been rising steadily. It is now an 8."

Evidence of his 'fondness'. This first one is a lousy picture - blurry - but I wanted you to see it. I looked outside and saw Dane hiking up the sledding hill with Gadisae in his arms lying on the sled. It was no easy hike!


I know that as more time passes, Dane's 8 will rise to a 10. It is obvious when I watch him with the girls.
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